hello everyone

[angus011]

I don't have a sad story, I just like to drink. It is on both sides of my family. Fathers side, his dad was real bad, and his sister was a mess after she lost everthing from drinking. On my moms side her mom was full blown and unstoppable,many cousins. To say the least I've been around it my whole life. When I was yonger all my friends were into drinking, and partying. After a while they seemed to outgrow it, and I never did. It never seemed abnormal to me to come home and start drinking. I mean I had a hard day right? I couldn't see I was driinking alone. between drinking and my inability to controll my anger I guess you could say I was unstable at best. living with me was like walking on eggshells, and didn't make for a stable and secure feeling. About a month and a half ago my wife stopped coming home. At first it was like someone pulled the rug out from under me, it was a total shock and I was mad. I thought that I was a decent husband, I couldn't see. I was mad for her leaving without an explanation, If I really was paying attention this has been coming for a long time. The wakeup was two days ago. I found a copy of a conversation my wife was having with a co-worker.My wife is very private it to me by suprise that she would openly discuss this with someone at work. As I read it I was angered by her friends advice. Apparently her father was a drunk and put her mother through the ringer. She was telling my wife to get out while she still can. I was pissed "how dare she judge me, she never even met me. But then I read it again and again. That's when I finally realized what I had been putting my wife through. Apparently my parents, siblings, and friends have been pushing her for quite some time now to leave me. They figured that if she left me It would cause me to hit "rock bottom". Once I was able to get past the anger I finnally understood what I have been putting my wife through. That's when it hit me, all the shit I have made her endure due to my addiction. She deserves much better then that. I only hope it's not too late to make it all right . I'm going to a phycoligist to try and get a handle on my anger. I will spend the rest of my life trying to make it up to her, not because that what she is asking of me. But because she deserves to be treated better, sHE IS A GREAT WOMAN AND i WOULD be stupid if I did'nt try everthing in my power to keep her in my life. Sorry I went on so long, Ineed help and support and I am hoping to find it on this board. I also hope that I will have something to offer. I will be here trying to become a better person. Thank you to everyone, and I am looking forward to being part of this board. gratefully tommy

[southernbelle47]

hello everyone

Hi Tommy,

Your story IS sad. You have made a step in the right direction . Keep seeking, and reading. This is a starting point. You will find many here looking for Hope for their future also.
:welcome: to MWO.

Nancy

[freckles]

hello everyone

i agree with sbelle completely. one thing i would like to add is that when i first posted i said something similar about my family deserving better. then someone pointed out that i, too, deserve better. so that's what i would like to say to you. your wife deserves better and so do you. glad you are here, and:welcome: . take care!