I am sure my story is very similar to those out there.
Well I grew up with a very abusive, alcoholic father. I tried to stop him from kicking my Mom in the stomach while she was on the floor, need I go farther. He tried to sexually assult my sister and myself. When I was 12 I was in the car with him when he was asking all these personal questions, and wanted me to take my clothes off or he would drop me off on the side of the road. I refused, and the rest is pretty fuzzy. I do believe he threatened me if I told. So for a few years I did not. My MOM was in the hospital with cancer at that time. So how could a child tell when she was told her Mom was going to die. A few years later I mouthed off to my dad, and he was going to beat me, but I ran into the bathroom. He pounded and pounded on the door until I thought I had better open up or he will kill me. The lock was so badly bent, I could not open it, then the walls began to close in on me and I began to scream. My eldest brother came in and opened the door, which my sister came in and would not let dad in. I told her my big secret, she in turn told my MOM, who did live. My father denied all my accusations.
He also abused his sister. Here the story gets strange. My father told us about his first marriage and how they had a baby who was born with its intestines on the outside of the body and died. His sister told us she had a baby born the same way. Now she did not know he told us his version. We know for a fact, my Aunt was terrified of him, as a matter of fact all his brothers and his sister had nothing to do with him. His own father never spoke to him or us. My father had a habit of taking other peoples identities or histories.
I never hated him for I knew he had a sickness. My whole family felt the same, my Mom although she left him, loved him till her passing three years ago.
I hardly drank in my teens or twenties. I was too busy raising children. My first marriage broke down, for he drank alot and when I over reacted, yes I did over react. He would hit me, it was my Mothers life all over again, but I was living it.
When I was in my late 20's I met my second husband. He was fun and the kids liked him, we had a son. Then things went sour. He was verbably abusive, and seemed to have an interest in another woman. I know for I found a note saying, "When I look into your beautiful brown eyes" well I have green eyes. Before we split we used to have some good parties. I was in my thirties, and of course it was the norm to drink too much.
My marriage fell apart about 20 years ago.. It was then I would enjoy my wine, not alot, but would enjoy it. My daughter would tell me I would get angry with her if she did not pick me up a bottle of wine. I do not remember, but she does and I do not question it. I do know I was not angry with not having any wine, but in her not doing what I would ask. She always did things at her own time.
After my Mom passed I really began to drink, I did it every day, got to the point of 1 to 2 bottles a day. The man I live with began to tell me I drink too much, he never tried to be supportive, so I would retreat to my bedroom and drink more. I knew I was out of control, but did not know how to stop, until I put myself into detox.
March 16th I had a Dr's appointment, so I had a couple with lunch and drove the hour to my appointment. Went to where my sister works, which is in the same town, sat for about 45 min's then we went to her place, another 15 to 20 min drive. Had a glass of wine and left. This all took place from 12 to 6:30. I do not remember what really happened. I know I was in the hospital the week before with a punctured lung, and was on oxycoten. But I pulled off on a side street, and a stranger took my keys and called the police. They took me in and had be blow, I blew 210 first then 200. That is an outrages amount for someone my size. So I am fighting this. It scared the daylights out of me and that is why I put myself into detox.
The rest is history, and I have been AF for 37 days.
I want to learn to do controlled drinking, that way I will find out if I am my (Father's Daughter) in the drinking catagory anyway. I am told by my counsellor that I am the only one who can decide this. Thanks for listening. One last word or two, when I time comes to have a glass of wine, I am scared, but determined.:thanks:
Well I grew up with a very abusive, alcoholic father. I tried to stop him from kicking my Mom in the stomach while she was on the floor, need I go farther. He tried to sexually assult my sister and myself. When I was 12 I was in the car with him when he was asking all these personal questions, and wanted me to take my clothes off or he would drop me off on the side of the road. I refused, and the rest is pretty fuzzy. I do believe he threatened me if I told. So for a few years I did not. My MOM was in the hospital with cancer at that time. So how could a child tell when she was told her Mom was going to die. A few years later I mouthed off to my dad, and he was going to beat me, but I ran into the bathroom. He pounded and pounded on the door until I thought I had better open up or he will kill me. The lock was so badly bent, I could not open it, then the walls began to close in on me and I began to scream. My eldest brother came in and opened the door, which my sister came in and would not let dad in. I told her my big secret, she in turn told my MOM, who did live. My father denied all my accusations.
He also abused his sister. Here the story gets strange. My father told us about his first marriage and how they had a baby who was born with its intestines on the outside of the body and died. His sister told us she had a baby born the same way. Now she did not know he told us his version. We know for a fact, my Aunt was terrified of him, as a matter of fact all his brothers and his sister had nothing to do with him. His own father never spoke to him or us. My father had a habit of taking other peoples identities or histories.
I never hated him for I knew he had a sickness. My whole family felt the same, my Mom although she left him, loved him till her passing three years ago.
I hardly drank in my teens or twenties. I was too busy raising children. My first marriage broke down, for he drank alot and when I over reacted, yes I did over react. He would hit me, it was my Mothers life all over again, but I was living it.
When I was in my late 20's I met my second husband. He was fun and the kids liked him, we had a son. Then things went sour. He was verbably abusive, and seemed to have an interest in another woman. I know for I found a note saying, "When I look into your beautiful brown eyes" well I have green eyes. Before we split we used to have some good parties. I was in my thirties, and of course it was the norm to drink too much.
My marriage fell apart about 20 years ago.. It was then I would enjoy my wine, not alot, but would enjoy it. My daughter would tell me I would get angry with her if she did not pick me up a bottle of wine. I do not remember, but she does and I do not question it. I do know I was not angry with not having any wine, but in her not doing what I would ask. She always did things at her own time.
After my Mom passed I really began to drink, I did it every day, got to the point of 1 to 2 bottles a day. The man I live with began to tell me I drink too much, he never tried to be supportive, so I would retreat to my bedroom and drink more. I knew I was out of control, but did not know how to stop, until I put myself into detox.
March 16th I had a Dr's appointment, so I had a couple with lunch and drove the hour to my appointment. Went to where my sister works, which is in the same town, sat for about 45 min's then we went to her place, another 15 to 20 min drive. Had a glass of wine and left. This all took place from 12 to 6:30. I do not remember what really happened. I know I was in the hospital the week before with a punctured lung, and was on oxycoten. But I pulled off on a side street, and a stranger took my keys and called the police. They took me in and had be blow, I blew 210 first then 200. That is an outrages amount for someone my size. So I am fighting this. It scared the daylights out of me and that is why I put myself into detox.
The rest is history, and I have been AF for 37 days.
I want to learn to do controlled drinking, that way I will find out if I am my (Father's Daughter) in the drinking catagory anyway. I am told by my counsellor that I am the only one who can decide this. Thanks for listening. One last word or two, when I time comes to have a glass of wine, I am scared, but determined.:thanks:
ear Litre,
awprint: RUBY Imagine yourself doing What you love and loving What you do, Being happy From the inside Out, experiencing your Dreams wide awake, 
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