Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

How it all started

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

    How it all started

    When it all started

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    I am an only child. My parents meant the world to me. In 1999 I was finally able to convince my Dad that they needed to move here so I could help him with my Mom. She was depressed, addicted to hydrocodone, and losing her mind. We found a great house, they moved here, and I thought everything was going to be great. Then, my Dad was diagnosed with a brain tumor (the worst kind--100% fatal--GBM). He would go out in the middle of the night and wind up lost. Everything went downhill. He would pee in the closet or on my Mom's bed. He would polish his shoes with toothpaste. Most people don't realize that brain tumors make you crazy. This man was the most wonderful person. He could do anything. I watched him die for 8 months. We did everything we could, but to no avail. My son took care of him, shaved him, put him in the shower, changed his diapers. Then, my senior -in- college son was busted for marijuana. He and his girlfriend were watching a movie in their pajamas and the drug task force busted the door down, confiscated my Dad's little handguns, a safe, and an ounce of pot. Terrorized the little dogs and took my son and his girlfriend to jail. Obviously they were a huge threat to society. Thousands of dollars later and a letter writing campaign on my part, he was released from the detention center. In the meantime, while he was incarcerated, I started drinking to excess and suffered a 4 cm kidney stone. I peed gravel and sand for weeks, but I still went to see him every weekend. I had to move my Mom into an assisted living facility, but the money ran out and I quit my job and brought her home with me. She broke her other hip and had to go to rehab. By then her Alzheimers had gotten so bad that she could not remember rehab. She never walked again and died in May two years ago. So, things have pretty much sucked in my life since then. On July 3, I lost my 13-year old chihuahua, Jenny, my baby, to cancer--she died in my arms; and last week, my beautiful, big, black baby--Brodie-- was hit by a car and killed instantly. He was on his daily walk with his dad and somehow got away from my husband, took off running full tilt for home and was killed by a motorist. He was only two years old. I guess I need to learn to deal with grief in some other way than drinking until I pass out. I'm hopeful and looking forward to a better life.

    This is just the beginning. It depresses me to read it. Better times they are a'coming!

    Kay

    #2
    How it all started

    They sure are Kay, sorry for you losses :h
    Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop questioning.

    Comment


      #3
      How it all started

      Panno;852198 wrote: They sure are Kay, sorry for you losses :h
      Thanks, Panno. I feel oddly calm and optimistic. Not fearing giving up the AL as I always have. This just has to work!

      Kay

      Comment


        #4
        How it all started

        Kay
        Thanks so much for sharing. I'm in awe of your devotion to your family. You really have shown extraordinary courage. I am so sorry to hear about your recent losses also x
        I hope now that you can direct that tenacious & loving energy towards your own care - into staying healthy & being well.
        You deserve to ready, willing & able when joy decides to knock again on your door !!!
        Love to you on your journey
        Keep safe
        Gold x
        :sun:

        Comment


          #5
          How it all started

          :lHi KTB, so many hurts, thanks for sharing and reminding me that we all have so much in common.
          Take care.
          make the least of the worst, and the most of the best - everyday.

          Comment


            #6
            How it all started

            Welcome KTB and thank you for sharing your story. You are obviously an incredible person to have been dealt so much and to have taken it all on. MWO is a great place for support and love, it sure sounds like it's your turn to get both now. We'll be here for you, big hug.
            AF since April 19, 2010
            NF since Nov 10, 2000

            "One reason I don't drink is I want to know when I'm having a good time."
            -Lady Nancy Astor

            Comment


              #7
              How it all started

              Thanks to all of you. Not everyone reacts to personal tribulations with drinking, but I did and so many thousands of people around the world do. I have finally realized that I am not some sort of freak. That helps. Good luck to everyone facing this horrible disease. Kay

              Comment


                #8
                How it all started

                Hi Kay,
                I'm so sorry to hear what you have been going through.. and you are right, drinking to deal with pain is not the way as AL causes depression! Have you considered seeing a therapist and talking these things through? This site is fantastic too.. and we will help any way we can.. i wish you the best on your journey.. being AF is a great way to be..
                Katie xxx
                "It works if you work it, because you are worth it!!!"

                :groupluv:

                Comment


                  #9
                  How it all started

                  Kay...I succumbed to booze abuse out of overwhelming stress.....and you know what...it made it worse!
                  Obiviously you are a loving and strong woman and I congratulate you for writing your story.we are here for you....
                  I love my family more than alcohol.:h
                  Live in the Solution....not the problem

                  Comment


                    #10
                    How it all started

                    KTB......Are you on antidepresents? I am...take Zoloft. My father was hospitalized for 3months for Manic Depression at Walter Reed. Just dealing with all the grief you have been through would be enough to have a break down. I'm so sorry that you have gone through all this.......Seeing my father dieing of cancer was bad enough. Take care and you know we are here to help. Take care Funky ! Ha! IAD
                    ?Be who you are and say what you feel because
                    those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.?
                    Dr. Seuss

                    Comment

                    Working...
                    X