Starting a new life

[Tabbers (a.k.a. KTAB)]

Starting a new life

Well done Kath you are doing great.

Hello Laura and welcome to MWO, it is a pity you dont get the support at home as we need all the help we can get with this. You will however not lack for advice, help or support here, all of it non judgemental. I do hope you decide to stick around and give this a go, it does work.
Keep safe
KTAB

[Kath33]

Starting a new life

I agree KTAB it is a pity that you don't get support at home, Laura. I know that although I had my husbands support, I ultimately had to do this for myself and make the decision not to drink by myself. It was still hard. I like who I am sober better. I love that my world is now full of colour, memories, clarity and is just so normal, it's exciting. No more secrets and no more guilt. I have been rediscovering my old hobbies and I love it. I have been knitting (and no its not boring!) and reading, talking to my husband and playing with my children. For the first time in ages I read to my children when they went to bed because I was sober. There are so many reasons to be sober and only one reason to drink - to be drunk and I don't want to be drunk anymore. I want more for my life and for my family.
THank you so much for your support. You are all gems and are also reasons to stay sober. I am proud to come to this site and that I am able to say that I sober everyday.
Heres to our future, one day at a time,
Kath

[Mia]

Starting a new life

Kath 33.... wow' I also could be your twin.. Reading your story well I was reading about myself. I'm day one AF feels great already.. Going to bed AF tonight. No hangover tommorrow.....

[Kath33]

Starting a new life

That is awesome Mia. You will be so proud to wake up with no hangover and no guilt. I have just completed my third week AF and my third weekend AF amd I am really proud of myself. I hope you are proud of yourself too. I am loving all the things that I can do now that I am not drinking. I swear the world is more colourful now. To be honest I am so proud of being AF that I refuse to drink and I never want to to go back there. Stay strong Mia. I found it really useful toread other stories and look at the plans others used. Keep choosing you. Kath

[Kally]

Starting a new life

Only just joined this site and not quite sure how it works!!! So need to talk to people who understands how drink takes over your life.I manage to keep my job and often look at people and think if they only knew!!! I find it so comforting to read all these testimonoes. Thanks

[willowgirl]

Starting a new life

Your story is much like mine. I am a 47 year old successful business owner, three wonderful kids, and a wonderful husband. If people could really know me, I feel like I live two lives. I do my job, go to my kids activities, etc. but once I get home at night then I start with the glass of wine while making supper, the glass of wine with supper, the glass of wine while cleaning up after supper, and then the rest of the bottle while I watch/sleep in front of the tv each night. One of the kids will wake me up and say they are home so off to bed I go. I usually wake up at about 3 am and lay in bed and try to piece back the night before. I try to remember how many glasses I had and then what did I do.......did I argue with any of the kids or my husband? Did I talk to anyone on the phone and say too much? I'll doze off around 5 after telling myself that tonight will be different. I will limit myself to one glass, that's it. I am embarrassed that my kids see me drunk. What must they think? I worry about what the alcohol is doing to my body. I am noticing more and more that I feel foggy at work. I am tired out. Finding this site and reading these stories, it makes me feel that I am not alone. It gives me inspiration that I can get control too! Thanks for letting me share!

[Pride before Fall]

Starting a new life

Hi Willow! I think a lot of us, particularly women, share the "secret drinker" story. My pattern was nearly identical to yours, except I was topping off the glasses throughout the evening--if no one was looking. I'm also 47, nice town, nice job, blah blah blah. I woke up 2 weeks ago, not remembering the movie I watched the night before--or whether my oldest son was home, or whether I'd talked to my fiance on the phone, and if so, what I'd said--and I haven't had a drink since. I found this site the next day, and it has been tremendously helpful. Good luck! Say hi and check if with me if you need to! ~Pride

[Pride before Fall]

Starting a new life

"There are so many reasons to be sober and only one reason to drink - to be drunk, and I don't want to be drunk anymore."

Thanks, Kath33! I was having a "Just one beer" moment. : )

[Cherbear]

Starting a new life

Willow,

Your story could be mine almost exactly. I had found myself drinking wine every night and usually creeping up to almost a whole bottle .. then as you, I would wake up at 3am. feeling the guilt..shame . I'm a failure. the self talk sucked. I've tried so many times to quit because of that "merciless obsession" of the mind.. plotting when to drink , if I have enough at home. blah blah blah..
I am now done quitting!!.
What changed for me this time is that I decided to join AA. This forum is fantastic and its like an online AA meeting is some ways but the face to face stories and caring understanding people. especially the ones that have many years of sobriety really help me. Also, It Really kicked in for me when I finally said outloud that I am an alcoholic.

hang in there. and that 3am time will be You sleeping like a baby and waking up refreshed.

[auntiegriselda]

Starting a new life

Hi Kath and all who are struggling. My story is very similar. I also would start with a glass of wine about 5-6pm, more with dinner and then the rest of the bottle through the evening. I have elevated liver enzymes too which was found quite by accident. And I suddenly had to admit a problem Still didn't stop drinking tho till 10 days ago. This time I'm going to quit for good. This website has been so helpful. I'd encourage anybody who hasn't done so to visit the thread "Tell Us Your Story" and read the thread started by Doggy girl. It is just simply inspirational and really helped me take that first step toward giving up wine.
I wish you all strength and peace,
Love,
Auntie

[willowgirl]

Starting a new life

I am so fired up...I made it through yesterday AF! I was fine all day until 5pm and I went to the grocery store to pick up a few things for dinner. I then sat in my car in the parking lot debating on whether to stop in and grab a bottle of wine to go with dinner which is my usual routine. It was like there was this debate going on inside of me and part of me was saying, just buy the wine and just have one glass but deep inside I know that I never quit after one glass so anyway, I drove straight home and today, I woke up with no regrets and I feel great! I wish I could be a normal social drinker but for now, I really think I just need to be AF for awhile. One day at a time I guess. Thanks for listening!

[4theboyz]

Starting a new life

Very nice Willowgirl! That took a huge amount of resolve and I know exactly how that same internal struggle, that booze coach inside your head teasing you about how great that wine would be with dinner...you know that one-glass-of-wine "everyone" has with a nice dinner. That one glass that makes the dinner taste sooooo goooood!!

You said NO and that is awesome!! Keep up the hard work and courage to do what you know you need to do!! YAY for you!

[auntiegriselda]

Starting a new life

Hi Kally,
Welcome to the site! I've been a member for a long time but had slipped back into drinking every night until Jan. 18th when I decided to take it one day at a time. I mentioned before that DoggyGirl's story on the "Tell Us Your Story" thread is just wonderful and inspiring. I feel so much better not having to deal with feeling drunk every night or the guilt that comes with it. I hope you are still with us and hanging in there!
Cheers,
Auntie

[mayday]

Starting a new life

Wow, I just found this thread...I thought that your story Kath was very similar to my own...how are you going?
Then I read yours Willow...A mirror image of my own story...hope you're going well, look forward to hearing how your journeys go

[leenco12]

Starting a new life

not tonight;858261 wrote: Hi Kath33
All I can say to you is, "Wonder Twins Unite!" Our habits mirror one another. The only person in my orbit that is aware of my habit is the man who owns the corner shop. And last time I gave up for 14 days he assumed I had moved! Yikes!!! This site is really amazing! So much support and information. I have found 4 important elements to fending off cravings are good nutrition, three healthy meals a day (hunger makes you week), the daily supplements and loads of water. Welcome, welcome!

Thank you Not Tonight. I agree. It is much easier when I am not hungry or thirsty. I think that thirst makes it much worse to cope with not drinking.
I let my husband read this thread last night and I felt really exposed and vulnerable because now he knows the truth too. It does help this morning though because if I drink I have to look him in the eye first, knowing that I am letting myself and him down. This is so hard but you've got to feel proud too. It's amazing how we try and hide our drinking from everyone else apart from my husband (or the guy at the corner store) but in doing that I can also hide it from myself. Honesty is a bit ugly but at least it has a real future.
Good luck today.