Just for Me

[Mia]

I am so fed up with myself. making promises that I do not keep. I stayed sober for 8 years. That was nearly 20 years ago. What has happened to me? Doggy girl is my inspiration. I think she was here with me 2 years ago and stayed AF. I did not. I have done 12months, 3 months, 25 days, down to 14 days, and still drinking

[Mia]

Just for Me

May 27/05/2010 My thoughts today about 2.30pm
A little bit out of my diary..for me. My thoughts today is (I have to stop this I cannot live feeling like this anymore) My body feels like a worn out 80 year old and thats is being kind. I am more than half that age. My whole being is tired. My soul, spirit, my beautiful being wants to stay awake. I am sinking and I have to start flying again. Day one of myself to be sober. AF

[Mia]

Just for Me

I am addicited 100% to wine. It is kiling me. Every morning I wake up I am hungover. Where the hell have I gone? I feel disgusted,disappointed and loathing in myself that I cannot even express in words. I am to embrasssed to reach out for help. I t has taken over my life. I have to beat this demon, monster.

[Mia]

Just for Me

I talk to self and ask why do I do this? I still have not come up with the answer.

[Mia]

Just for Me

Every night I drink at least more than one bottle of wine a night. I cannot even remember the next morning what I have said or even eaten for dinner. I look in the garbage bin sometimes to remind my self what I have had for dinner or look in the tv programme to remember what I watched on tv

[spuddleduck]

Just for Me

hi mia. youve done it before.you can do it again. keep here and post, its a good incentive, why not keep a personal diary of how you feel,maybe you could do a thread on here and chart your progress

[spuddleduck]

Just for Me

yep. ive done all of that. always had to look around for evidence of the night before. its a horrible way to live

[Mia]

Just for Me

Total blackouts are the pits. Werse than hangovers, lately my lower legs and feet are cramping. Today I could hardly move, where in the hell am I??? This is not who I am!!!

[Mia]

Just for Me

I looked it up on the net to see what it could be the pains and cramping ahhh my feet, nerve damage due to excessive abuse of alcohol. If that is not enough to stop me what is? I have soooooo much to live for.

[Mia]

Just for Me

What a waste! I have soooo much to live for.

[spuddleduck]

Just for Me

i think its the blackouts that really got me scared, though i didnt do anything about it for ages. i broke my ankle when i was drunk and i havent got a clue how i did it. god knows what else was on the cards for me if i continued drinking like that. sounds like you want to find yourself..... and yourself is not in a bottle

[spuddleduck]

Just for Me

do you have a plan mia. thats always a good start. a plan just for one day

[Mia]

Just for Me

I have a beautiful man in my life that whorships the ground I walk on and loves me sooo much

[Mia]

Just for Me

Beautiful home that I own and garden that is a wow factor

[Mia]

Just for Me

I have my beautiful dogs and a great job. I still have my looks and a great figure. God knows how. Genes I suppouse. Althought Alcoholism does run in the family