Hoping ...

[southernbelle47]

Hoping ...

Hi WTE,

Good job on day two!!!!!!

It was good to see you in chat tonight! Chat is sometimes crazy like tonight! You just have to jump in and type the person's name in your post that you are talking to!

Just wanted to say that it's good to have you here.

Nancy:l

[WaitingToExhale]

Hoping ...

Thanks Nancy! Yes! Its quick in chat! I'll hopefully get the hang of it ....

Easier to read when everyone has an avatar before thier name.. and for the life of me, could not figure out how to do that .. maybe next time we're in chat you can explain it for me?

I remain in awe at the number of people here that SOUND LIKE ME! I feel very grateful to all of you that have taken the time to raed my silly posts and actually reply (OMG! they are actually reading it!) LOL

Learning so much ... so long a road yet, but what a kick butt start!

WaitingToExhale

[Saint Jude]

Hoping ...

Hey there Waiting, sounds like your "baby steps" are gettin bigger ...:wd: :flower: Glad you're here!

:l ...Judie

[dilayne]

Hoping ...

Welcome Waiting! You have definitely found the right place. You are not alone. I think many of us have experienced a lot of what you are describing..and I suspect at the same time of life..something about that mid life point that brings things to a head..The good news is that you can feel the energy that you've had before and you can experience the joy of life again..stick around, follow the program as described and check in daily with these wonderful folks!
You can do this! Namaste! Di

[dilayne]

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Oh my, I posted before reading all the pages in this thread! Waiting, you are doing great..and inspiring us all, i think! Woo Hoo to You Who!

[Ivygoodluck]

Hoping ...

Welcome Waiting!!!!

Seems that you have reached a crossroads and doing the right thing--coming to MWO. Read the book, post, get the supps etc. as others have said. They will help you focus and ward off cravings. I am still having wine at night, maybe three glasses, but I'm not sliding as I first felt I was when I came here. Definitely get off that bloody mary or morning drink, first thing. Then decide you will always wait till five o'clock. You will be able to do this with the supps. 'And then you can moderate from there.

Good luck. If I can do it,, You can do it!

Ivy

[WaitingToExhale]

Hoping ...

OK .. ordered the sups and CDs this morning .. was charging ahead on Day Three ..

I'm not going tokick myself is the butt, because it's not quite 800 PM here .. and I am still MUCH betterthan most Friday nights.

My goals today were:

No AM drinks and get butt to work: DONE, and on time!

Get 2 more projects / pain is ass phone calls done to resoleve some issues: DONE!

Stay at work until closing ... saves payroll & keeps me out of too much trouble: DONE!

Do not drink with lunch or at least not until after 3PM: Ok dammit, how did I justify it ths time? The new Chef next doors to my shop , new recepie, have with a glass of KJ ... OK .. 3 glasses later .. I closed shop at the regular time. Well, I have been worse, but it was not a way to start a Friday.

Buy only ONE BOTTLE of wine on way home: You see, I have come to buy the 4 packs to get the 10% off .. *DUH BLONDE HEAD TILT* OK DONE. I did only buy only bottle .. and am carefully sipping .. something I could say I was NEVER aware of just a few days ok .. OK .. not a pass but better?

Read more posts on MWO: I cannot tell you how this makes me focus. Not out at the bars this Friday night ... turned down an invitation with a person that I know is not good to be around right now ... can not drink myself to sleep tonight by myself on the sofa cuz I only have one bottle of wine! LOL Many may think that is not funny ... but I'M SERIOUS! It's funny!

Not on my goal list but ... tonight I packed my car with projects from my shop that I take care of this weekend .. instead of putting them off "I will do IT Monday" ... that's a biggie ...

So ......... Its Friday .. I wish I had not drank as much earlier .. but I am watching now tonight. That is better? Far from drunk .. but that buzz was beginning again ... dammit.

I wish I could read more about those that are the "functioning" ... it's just a buzz ... I don't fall down ... but I am SO SICK of it.

Oh, another note .... had a BAD craving this morning for that Bloody Mary ... poured a root beer@!

Who knew? If I poured cranberry juice .. well should add vodka ....

Coffee should have Baileys!

Orange Juice is not quite the same without champagne!

ROOT BEER . NOTHING GOES WITH ROOTBEER. LOL

And I think the sugar from all the wine is something we get used to. I'm NOT a soda drinker .. but that root beer worked this morning! Thank goodness my kid friend left a few cans in the frig .. buying a case tomarrow!

I am so happy you all are here ... I just love some of the threads...

WaitingToExhale

[WaitingToExhale]

Hoping ...

Well I made it through Saturday without a major slip back ... my "normal" for a day off would have been Bloody Marys in the morning .. slipping into wine ... and more wine and more wine.... instead I held the line for many hours and then held it to 6 glasses .. (still sounds awful when I type that!)

Today will be a bit of a challenge .. as I am meeting a GF (and heavy drinker) at a Sunday Brunch place to check it out for my companies Christmas Party. I don't want to drink in the AMs anymore ... it's what gets me going for the rest of the day on drinking .. and I just don't stop until I fall asleep ...

I'm going to attempt to side step this ... I booked myself into a Home Energy Seminar at Home Depot at 100 this afternoon! Ha! So that means I simply will not have time to sit around drinking champagne! Hoping my plan works! Oh and a side note: This is my newest brain child for meeting men! LOL

If I can stay to 6 again today, I will consider it a success.

WaitingToExhale

[Mighty Mouse II]

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Dear Waiting To Exhale:

I didn't realize you were new to the forum also! How wonderful that we are starting out at the same time! I think it is great how you are setting your goals and thinking things through ahead of time -- a real inspiration. You mentioned that you are participating in the chat forum -- that is great! I would love to do that but unfortunately don't have a clue how it works.

Please do keep up the posts -- they are great -- wish you the best of luck with your goals -- but stand ready as part of your support group for those times when it doesn't work.

Caringly,
MM

[WaitingToExhale]

Hoping ...

Hey MM .. yeppers a newbie too! Wish those darn supps and CDs would arrive ...

Well, a bit after 7PM here now ... stopping at 7 glasses .. which includes the 2 (ack) mimosas with the GF. Why did I ordera second one??

But! On a plus note ... I have a half glass of wine still sitting here ... and a FULL bottle in the frig .. with NO intentions of opneing it! And that feels just dandy! Yeah!

Ok Ok Ok .. just while I was typing this.. the Ex BF calls ... ERRRR .. I can do this!

Focus focus...


As for Caht .. it's pretty fun! Next time you are around and you see my "light on" as well ... we can go there togther.

There is a button up top, towards theleft that says "Chat". It will take you there, but its a bit confusing at first .. and I saw a couple of people say there was a problem with it at times.

Youare ALSO an inpiration for me!! Setting goals has been working well for me so far .. tho I did mess up a bit today. But still ... there is ONE empty wine bottle on the counter tonight .. not four!

Are you usingthe suppliments or ordered the CDs? I can't remember if you posted that or not ...

Here's to a successful Monday!! I have a GOOD feeling about a fresh week ...

Hugs to ya!

WaitingToExhale

[WaitingToExhale]

Hoping ...

Well, Monday morning! Wish I could have typed in 6 or less on my Tracker ... but I was honest and put in the 7.

Still a MUCH better weekend than in a LONG time. I actually walked through my home this morning and felt great that the kitchen was actually all nice and tidy, the bills were all sorted and paid .. I have a new screen door! (well,almost)

Long story short .. I didn't just lose the weekend in wine ! At about this time on Mondays .. I am ranting at myself for all that I promised myself I would do .. and didn't. I'm liking this !

So today I have two challenges. In my shop, I usually have a glass of wine (or 10) with "lunch". I actually drink more than I eat. I watch that clock for 12:00 like a hawk. I have to stave off that time ... it rolls to entire bottle at the shop ... a drive home (buzzing) and then open another 2 or so in the evening.

So that is challenge one for the day.

The other, is I have to see my Ex Boyfriend today at 4:00. Even his phone call last night .. I reached for that glass of wine on my desk .. and GULP. Hence 7 glasses yesterday ... dammit.

So I need a plan to not let him get to me. It's not that we fight .. we are working very hard on remaining friends ..but have some business that I have to help him with today. It's just that I miss him, it's hard to stay awy from him even tho I know itis the right / healthy thing to do ... and I know he will be drinking when he is her. Always shows up with his bourbon jug *sigh*

Maybe I should make my goal for today, not only a limit of 6 .. but my first glass as a reward when he leaves? Hummm ... will make me get him out the door sooner! LOL

OK .. thats my Monday goal ...

Again! .. as I was typing this ... he just called to confirm our appointment ... and my mind is now CRAVING a bloody mary now! Yikes!

Off the shower ... and have a root beer while getting dressed. Damn ..there are some hard points .. wish my supps would arrive!

Hope to see you all in chat later ... MM and I are meeting there at 7 Eastern Time / 4 Pacific time

Chow Mein ..

WaitingToExhale

[WaitingToExhale]

Hoping ...

OK, Day 7 .. here we go!

My supps and CDs arrived yesterday so that is encouraging. I'm still have some very tough moments and hopefully they will help take the edge off. Going to try without Topa as a start ... but I certainly have no shame in asking a DR for it ... I've made an idiot out of myself with drinking .. so that shame would be low in comparison. LOL

Yesterday I surprised myself a bit. I had a fight with myself in the AM after stressing on the Exs phone call ..but I won and didn't drink. Noon (my usual start time) came and went without too much thught. That is a BIGGIE for me ...

I had promised myself to not open a bottle until AFTER the meeting with the Ex was over and he had left ... meeting was suppose to be at 330-400 .. he finally shows at 600ish .. so I missed that goal. Plus, just very stressed in seeing him ... the wine won that round

It was funny tho .. yesterday afternoon, everytime I thought about opening that bottle .. my mind said "it's going to make you feel like crap". I think being here, and posting here, has kept the ugly memories alive enough to not want to go back there. Very cool. To have waited until 330 to have a drink was MAJOR for me ....

And by pushing back that time, and being sure to SIP not GULP ... I even beat my goal by one glass. **little pat on back again** LOL

And now the ExBoyfriend thing is finally closed. The last of his accounts I transferred to his laptop .. the last of his books and files he took with him ... we no longer have a reason /excuse to contact one another. OUCH! I've known in my hear for thepast two years that he was unhealthy to be around .. and I don't think there is one person around me, once they came to know him, told me to get out. Not that he was a bad guy .. just goofy ... and inconsiderate .. and selfish ... and drank too much ... and maybe had/has gone back to meth "once in awhile"? ...


So today is a day of closure for me. I have to make this a celebration of sorts rather than a sadness. Need to stay focused on the future ... and how being healthy again will open new doors for me. That I deserve better and if I am not in a wine stupor locked away in my house all the time ... there are all kinds of opportunities for joy again in life.

OK, thats the Day 7 focus ... celebrate attaining another piece of my puzzle to being healthy and happy again .. but do it on 6 glasses or less! And nothing before 300 .. because now I KNOW I can do that...

WaitingToExhale

*dang! Thats a lot of pills to take each day** LOL

[Saint Jude]

Hoping ...

Thought you'd appreciate the T-shirt I'm wearing...

It says, "I still miss my EX,..."



"But my Aim is getting better"

[WaitingToExhale]

Hoping ...

StJude .. I need that T-Shirt! LOL

I just relized that I seem to be the only one that has a continuous story going with this post .. I hope it is OK. Someone correct me if it's not ...

Yesterday was hard, hard, hard. I had tried to make it one of celebration for new starts, and instead the sadness of the loss kept resurfacing.

When you KNOW in your heart something is right to be doing, when you KNOW it really ended long ago, when you KNOW you want more for your future and that requires the change ... but the final, final is still an OUCH. Like watching someone die ... slowly ... and you are helpless to stop it ... and they die ..and then the day of the funeral comes and they are lowered into that grave ... and there is no more hoping or wondering or wishing. Tis over ...

That's how yesterday felt. Trying hard to come to grips with it.... and in the process blew it a bit. I had promised myself to not drink at the shop and not until after 3PM. Instead I poured a glass of wine, at the shop at about 130 ... then left the shop about 215 ...

Driving home, about a 40 minute drive ... I felt SO lazy and sleepy and pissed off at myself. All I could think of was to get home and take a nap on the sofa. All from one glass of wine!

The "stops" I should have made along the way, things I left work early to get done ... none of them got done ... I headed straight home. That old damn habit ... I REALLY need to stop drinking at the shop . That has to be a BIG focus for me. Yesterday I relized how strong that trigger was ...

I still ended the day with about 5.5 glasses ... not awful .. but I bet I could have done better. And now I have twice as many errands to get done today ...and I will do them dammit! LOL

This is really hard ... yet I know of myself when I DO accomplish what I set out for the day .. I find myself humming happy little tunes ... today I want to be humming by the time I get home.

Here's to Day 8 .. wishing you all a great start to the new month!

WaitingToExhale

[Saint Jude]

Hoping ...

Hey Waiting, the habits you have, you didn't get all overnight. So don't be so hard on yourself, it's gonna take some time and a lot of hard work to break them.

We all do things that we don't plan on doing sometimes, but (to borrow a term from AA) we are WORKS IN PROGRESS. "It's progress, not perfection".

And like a lot of people on these boards recommend, try and focus on the positive, You are making great changes!:good: