I have been thinking about doing this for sometime now and i believe im ready. So here goes (warts and all!).
I grew up in a loving family, just me and my brother (2 yrs older than me). But my parents kept seperating and dad would move in and out over the years. My grandparents were alcoholics and my dad drank a fair bit too.
I started to have the odd drink at around 16 with friends. I slept with far to many men over those years and lost a lot of my self worth. I let men use me. I wanted to be loved and would do practically anything for it.
Then my parents split and divorced for good, very sad time for me. My only brother was a morphine addict and he ended up in hospital one night in ICU with an infection in his blood. This caused a stroke that killed the parts of the brain that tell you to move and breath on your own so he ended up on life support. This was the most horrific thing i have ever experienced. A few days later we had to turn the life support off and i watched him take his last breath. I have never got over this or the pain i feel. My husband was not supportive at all at this time and i went into a state of depression so i was counceled and put on anti D's. One month after his death I fell pregnant. I found out I was having twins! OMG!! During my pregnancy my dad had a breakdown and tried to commit suicide 4 times. My identical boys were born perfect and born 1 year to the day my brother died! Amazing.
I got post-natal depression on top of depression and no support from my husband and i had two babies. Hard times.
My husbabnd moved us up to Kerikeri (north) to be close to his parents. I had no friends or family up there and i was so alone. I drank more and more. Then one night i went out drinking with some people id met and got drunk and got in my car. I drove halfway home and crashed and took down a huge power pole. A man (angel) found me unconscious surrounded in airbags and vomit and got me out. I was alive and by looking at what was left of my car its a miracle! My boys woke there dad crying because there night light had gone of as there mother had taken out all the power in the town. How sad.
I stopped drinking for 3 months and then started as i was so unhappy in my marriage.
I left my marriage and had shared custody of my kids 50/50. I worked when i didnt have them. I am still medicated for depression. I am happier than i have ever been but for some reason i keep drinking. Then i realized, im not drinking because im unhappy im drinking because i am ADDICTED to it. But i have slipped so many times. But now i want out. I want my life back that i let alcohol steal from me. It has robbed my life and i want it back. I AM READY. i WILL FIGHT WITH ALL THAT I HAVE IN ME.
Its my time and with the help, love and support of all you amazing people i can do this.
Im sorry its so long but its my life and ive lived it. Thank you for reading this and i hope in some way it will encourage others. Im just starting out, but im on a mission!
Love Pink xxoo :thanks:
I grew up in a loving family, just me and my brother (2 yrs older than me). But my parents kept seperating and dad would move in and out over the years. My grandparents were alcoholics and my dad drank a fair bit too.
I started to have the odd drink at around 16 with friends. I slept with far to many men over those years and lost a lot of my self worth. I let men use me. I wanted to be loved and would do practically anything for it.
Then my parents split and divorced for good, very sad time for me. My only brother was a morphine addict and he ended up in hospital one night in ICU with an infection in his blood. This caused a stroke that killed the parts of the brain that tell you to move and breath on your own so he ended up on life support. This was the most horrific thing i have ever experienced. A few days later we had to turn the life support off and i watched him take his last breath. I have never got over this or the pain i feel. My husband was not supportive at all at this time and i went into a state of depression so i was counceled and put on anti D's. One month after his death I fell pregnant. I found out I was having twins! OMG!! During my pregnancy my dad had a breakdown and tried to commit suicide 4 times. My identical boys were born perfect and born 1 year to the day my brother died! Amazing.
I got post-natal depression on top of depression and no support from my husband and i had two babies. Hard times.
My husbabnd moved us up to Kerikeri (north) to be close to his parents. I had no friends or family up there and i was so alone. I drank more and more. Then one night i went out drinking with some people id met and got drunk and got in my car. I drove halfway home and crashed and took down a huge power pole. A man (angel) found me unconscious surrounded in airbags and vomit and got me out. I was alive and by looking at what was left of my car its a miracle! My boys woke there dad crying because there night light had gone of as there mother had taken out all the power in the town. How sad.
I stopped drinking for 3 months and then started as i was so unhappy in my marriage.
I left my marriage and had shared custody of my kids 50/50. I worked when i didnt have them. I am still medicated for depression. I am happier than i have ever been but for some reason i keep drinking. Then i realized, im not drinking because im unhappy im drinking because i am ADDICTED to it. But i have slipped so many times. But now i want out. I want my life back that i let alcohol steal from me. It has robbed my life and i want it back. I AM READY. i WILL FIGHT WITH ALL THAT I HAVE IN ME.
Its my time and with the help, love and support of all you amazing people i can do this.
Im sorry its so long but its my life and ive lived it. Thank you for reading this and i hope in some way it will encourage others. Im just starting out, but im on a mission!
Love Pink xxoo :thanks:
awprint: RUBY Imagine yourself doing What you love and loving What you do, Being happy From the inside Out, experiencing your Dreams wide awake,
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