Saturday 18 September ? 4.57am
I stumbled across this website completely by accident and I have to say it?s been a real eye-opener. I was reading a post on a dieting website where someone said (something like) I don?t want to have to give up having wine with my dinner. Someone posted a link to this site in the response. I had no idea what MyWayOut was and so intrigued ? clicked and my first reaction was that it was a little harsh to refer someone to an alcohol advice site because he wanted a couple of glasses with wine with his dinner but then it got me thinking....
I read through several posts and visited the site several times over the next few days. It opened my eyes to the fact that I needed to take control of my alcohol intake before it took control of me. If I don?t act NOW then I may have to abstain for the rest of my life...
My husband mentioned that my parents had voiced control over my alcohol intake. I was seriously p?d off! I couldn?t believe that they would comment on what I was drinking. I confronted them about it and they denied the conversation... my husband maintains it happened. I still don?t know what the truth of it is but needless to say, it was a bit of a wake up call that I was not drinking in a ?normal? social way.
My intake had gone from mainly weekends, to sharing a bottle of wine over dinner (most nights) and steadily increased to about a bottle of white wine a day. I knew in my mind that this was excessive but certainly didn?t think I had a problem.
Then I read through the posts on the site and pondered on when you cross the line from heavy drinker to alcoholic.. this scared/scares me a lot and it was the jolt I needed to pull myself together and do something about it.
Over the next couple of days, I automatically reduced my intake to say 2/3 bottle of wine. I continued to read the inspiring posts and also see how much alcohol could affect me if I refused to take control.
The idea of abstaining for 14 days so that I could reassess my relationship with alcohol and feel healthier etc. etc. was at first totally not acceptable to me. I started to bargain with myself that I would just drink at weekends or maybe give up for a week and then I realised that even thinking that confirmed that I need to sort myself out and just do it. It?s 14 days ? hardly a lifetime.
I woke up again about 3.30am as my daughter was feeling ill and have been unable to get back to sleep and have been contemplating what to do. Reading more posts. Planning... Worrying about whether I could risk my health by going cold turkey (I only thought that severe withdrawal symptoms would hit someone that was drinking half a bottle of vodka a day but it seems I may be wrong?). Tonight I read a post from someone that said ?cut down to the minimum about of drinks possible for a few days before quitting completely. Take it from someone who has just suffered an alcohol related seizure. That?s scary!
So here it is ? at 5.11am ? my plan of action. If I can?t achieve this then I know I have serious alcohol problems that will need to be addressed maybe professionally with medical advice (that scares the hell out of me).
Action plan
Saturday 18th ? moderate drinking
Sunday 19th ? moderate drinking
Monday 20th ? gulp ? day 1/14
Sunday 3rd October ? day 14 and time to assess.
Is it going to be tough? Without a doubt. I am not sure about the physical withdrawal. I am hoping that will not be too bad as I have had to give up before and not experienced any real side effects. I think it is going to be the mental side of not drinking socially/to relax/distress/celebrate etc. that is going to hit me hard. Habits are there to be broken and that is what I am determined to do (and will journal it all the way so watch this space...)
I am going to journal on here. I hope that someone may read this and it will ring a bell and they will start to really think about there drinking situation just like I have, hopefully before it?s too late to become a moderate drinker (certainly not daily) in the future.
Thanks for listening!
PS YOU GUYS ARE AMAZING. THANK YOU FOR SHARING YOUR STORIES.
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