my story

[hideit]

In 1986 I was raped repeatedly during a house robbery for 9 hours . All were arrested and sent to prison. In 1996 my beautiful daughter Nataliwe (14) I found dead with meningtis. Two years ago my Mum died, and three months ago I lost my Dad. I am still finding this hard to come to terms with. I loved him so much. I have always enjoyed a drink, my dad loved his drink. After the rape I found I needed a few bottles a larger a night to help me sleep. After Natalie died friends would come around, with them came a bottle of barcardi, or vodka, lt really did not matter what. Since then I have had problem. I drink everyday. I tried the Prioy, it was great whilst you were in there, but coming out was a different stoty. The last few years has seen me in hospital a lot of times ,crushed ankle,broken collar bone, broken shoulder, and most recentlty a broken arm , where the bone came though. All because of drink I'm due in hospital in a few weeks to dry out can anyone out there give me some advice. I am desperate.

[FreedGenie]

my story

Hideit, I will wait for the others to give advice as I don't feel qualified but just wanted to say how sorry I am for your losses and the awful ordeal you suffered in 1986. Keep posting and realise you are not alone xx

[Guitarista]

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Hi Hideit,

Thank you for sharing your story. I am so sorry for your loss, and what you went through, and still are going through. Hang in there, and keep the hope alive as best you can. Is it possible for you to see someone professionally to talk to, and work on a plan for you to get yourself off the grog?

[one2many]

my story

Hey Hideit,

I am so sorry for what has happened to you, I cannot even imagine it, it must have been pure hell.

You are one strong person, having gone thru all of this and are still fighting. Good on ya and good work on coming here and seeking help.

I think it is a great chance that you are getting to go into hospital to dry out, at least you can do it safely there and with support.


There ia also lots of support to be had here, you are not alone, each and every one of us have blighted our lives with booze, we understand and we care.xxxx

Please keep coming back, read the posts, keep letting us know how you are. You can do this, you have a chance, now grab it with both hands and make it work.
This is a fantastic community, and you will fast make friends who will come to mean a lot to you.

What date are you due at the hospital? Is there after care?

[havefaith]

my story

hideit
I am very impressed by your courage! Here is my advise- Keep moving foward......
And from the sound of your post , by reaching out , that is a very big step!
And this process is all about baby steps. So I am very proud of you! Go into the hospital and do what
you need to do to get better. Although all our stories are very differen, but we are all battling the same disease!
You are in my prayers!

[Pride before Fall]

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How utterly devastating, HI. What a fundamentally strong woman you must be to have kept going; don't ever doubt that for a minute. Let this hospital stay be an opportunity to take care of yourself and especially to be taken care of. xoxo Pride

[choice]

my story

Hi Hideit,

Good for you for having the courage to write your story and to get the help you need. You are stronger then you know, you are loved more then you know. I'm wishing you peace during your recovery. xoxo

-Choice

[hideit]

my story

Thank you everyone for your replies I go into hospital on 17th Oct. I am so frightened of failure, after I tried the Priory and failed. But I am pleased I have found this site, as I believe you will be there to help me when I get out. I know we all have our stories, and I really wish everyone help and courage to fight this terrible illness. I have a daughter, Charlotte who gets married next year, so I should try to be postive, Because of drink I have already missed 2 wedding fairs, 2 dress fittings, she would not take me because of the state I was in. I have a really good husband, but by rights he should have left me years ago. He dreads coming home, he never knows what state I will be in. Anyway thankyou for giving me this chance to chat. I love you all.

[big mo]

my story

Hi Hideit , What a strong person you are , great that you are getting into hospital to get help, Have you ever been to AA meetings, I am not a "sales rep" for AA but speaking from my personnal experiance , I have tried every thing to stop drinking over the last 15 years including AA meetings and it always ends up with failure because (i believe) i did'nt make stopping drinking my no 1 priority , I am on day 7 AF and have been going to AA and if i go to at least 1 meeting a day i can get through the day , I missed thursdays meeting and friday am i was feeling great and full of pride and confidance until friday evening and i started thinking its the weekend and was my drinking really that bad and all the usual excuses that made it ok for me to drink again, I spent the evening doing my head in i will drink , i wont drink and eventually (dont know how i made the final decision in my head) i went to the AA meeting and it was such a relief, i missed the start of the meeting but just being with other alcoholics and listening to their story and identifying with them helped me, I am not a clever person or a religious person and there is a lot of people think AA is about God and the 12 steps but i hav'nt been to church in years and i hav'nt even looked at 12 steps , i go for 1 reason because it helps me not drink for today and thats what i try to make my priority. Good luck and keep posting , I look forward to hearing how you are getting on, Mo

[Mish]

my story

Hideit, you have experienced some terrible grief in your life and I am so sorry for your losses. As the others have said, you are strong and courageous and you have found the best place ever. Have you watched "Rain In My Heart?" It's a confronting documentary but it sure opened my eyes as to where I could end up if I don't make some changes. I blew it last night after 15 days AF, so it's back to day 1 for me. I didn't go overboard, thank goodness, but I don't want to moderate, I want to stop!
My love and best wishes
:h Mish :h

[gyco]

my story

learning

hideit;965192 wrote: Thank you everyone for your replies I go into hospital on 17th Oct. I am so frightened of failure, after I tried the Priory and failed. But I am pleased I have found this site, as I believe you will be there to help me when I get out. I know we all have our stories, and I really wish everyone help and courage to fight this terrible illness. I have a daughter, Charlotte who gets married next year, so I should try to be postive, Because of drink I have already missed 2 wedding fairs, 2 dress fittings, she would not take me because of the state I was in. I have a really good husband, but by rights he should have left me years ago. He dreads coming home, he never knows what state I will be in. Anyway thankyou for giving me this chance to chat. I love you all.

hi hide it.i to am sorry for your loss,and your nightmare of an xperience,we recently in vancouver canada had a young lady who went thro the same ordeal,jail is to good for them,obviously tried by a males,casturate the bastards,i guess until the laws get harsher theyll always be violence against women,shame shme on men,i looked up what Priory was,i do understand where your at,many when i was in treatment [Homewood Guelph Ontario] asked the same question,were safe in the the arms of Treatment,but what happens when we get out,20 people out of 100 succeed,the rest either fall back to there old ways,and some of us find here,the world does not change my dear,nor do many laws,there were many second and third time offenders,they were what i called the lost ones,i also went there with months of sobriety,get the help you need,you no how you drink is wrong,its just a matter of time you will figure out,your slowly committing suicide the way you drink,i thot id add,im one of the 80 per cent that didnt succeed ? or did i,i keep coming here and hear stories like yours and others,there are alternatives to what weve done to ourselves:thanks::welcome::goodjob:you will overcome gyco