Here Goes: A shot at my story

[thatredheadedgirl]

Hi everyone,
I've spent some time snooping around the forums and I really like the philosophy and camaraderie behind MWY. I guess I've really become concerned about my drinking over the last year.

I'm 26 years old and I have a wonderful boyfriend, career and life. My mom has always been alcohol dependent and at some times a full blown alcoholic and I've always been very hesitant around alcohol because of that. Over the last few years I've had a few very traumatic events happen to me and I've found my drinking has escalated. It's up to a bottle most (but not all) nights (I still have alcohol free nights) - on some really bad days, i'd say probably 5 days over the last three months? (this is where I really became concerned) I'd even started drinking during the day and managed to drink up to 2 bottles that day/night.

It really scares me. Not just the damage I'm doing to myself physically and psychologically but what I stand to lose. I've gotten a DUI in this time (thank god no one was hurt, to this day I can't fully forgive myself) but I don't seem to know how to 'break' this habit. Before this, I was always able to go to bed without a glass of wine but it's turned from a habit to a compulsion.

It seems to be the only thing that 'quiets' my mind. Otherwise I toss and turn and can be up for the entire night. The anxiety (because of personal troubles) is horrible. I've started seen a cognitive behavioural therapist, and I thought joining this forum might be another positive step I could take. If at least to act as an outlet for my thoughts and to connect with some people going through the same thing. Sometimes it just feels like my brain is going through white water rapids - violently churning and smashing into things with no direct focus.

So hi. I want to make positive steps in my life so that I can get back to moderate or no drinking, because right now it feels like I've forgotten how.

So here's to the first day of the rest of my life? But I'm also really scared, I really want to believe I can do this!
:thanks:

[fluff]

Here Goes: A shot at my story

I believe you really can! Welcome, Redhead- Alcoholism must be genetic- it runs in my family-and my husband's- I keep telling my kids that it's in their genes and to be aware of that- You're only 26- and your realization of this problem and how it's progressing with you is showing you have enough smarts to stop while you are still young- I wish I was as smart as you when I was 26! Congratulations on trying to get help and keep reading in here and posting your journey.

[Pride before Fall]

Here Goes: A shot at my story

Hi Redhead (from a fellow redhead),

For the vast majority of people, alcohol use increases over time. It's really impressive that you're able to acknowledge the problem in your 20s and you're not so deep "in the hole" of consequences and behavior that it's harder and harder to climb out. That takes uncommon self-awareness.

Anxiety (or specifically, trying to avoid it) is a big drink trigger for me, and I've gotten relief from listening to self-hypnosis and meditation tapes, exercise, and non-addictive sleep-aids as needed. I've been in CBT off and on for 20 years, and got amazing help from a therapist specializing in PTSD (you really have to shop around for a good fit, I think, so keep looking of the current therapist isn't doing much for you). Your doctor could help with the insomnia and alcohol problems, too (again--if it's a good fit).

Welcome!

Pride

[Choochie]

Here Goes: A shot at my story

Welcome Red and thanks for posting. Like the others who have posted here, I too wish I had been savvy enough at your age to recognize that I had a problem with alcohol. Mine definitely progressed over time.

You have come to a good place as I'm sure you can see. I'm AF 16 days today and attribute it to this site. I have just gotten the MWO book and meditation tapes for abstaining. Be sure to check out the Tools thread under Monthly Abstinence and the Holistic Healing tab on the front page. There is so much good information on the site - the more you have time to read, the better.

Best of luck - we are here for you.

[aspman]

Here Goes: A shot at my story

hey there, me again.(or, for the first time if you switch threads like i do)
this is the tool box as mentiond

https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...box-27556.html

a gr8 read and full of tips.
read some storys and you may realize your so far from alone hear, and also very luck to notic the problem so young. good luck& welcome.