This is because, it's not my 1st run in with the law in the last few years.
Im suprised actually, because I'm 29, a mother of two. And I have never been in any trouble until the last few years and I thought, that was something you did when you were younger and I ought to be more grown up. Im really bloody dissapointed in myself. And had to explain to my kids why we were picking up my keys from the police station. Suck.
I used to drink too much in my teens, for a couple of years, but I decided against it and pretty much sorted it out, I am aware that I started binge drinking at 15 so I do have a pre disposition towards it and have always had to be aware of it. But thats been fine, I just kept an eye on myself, looked after myself no real problems from 17 til 27. Since then, everything has just been going absolutly from 1 thing to another, from bad to worse for a couple of years now, and as I start to sort things out I do something like this again.
I met my ex partner at 26 and he drank too much, thats why I left him. I used to feel hurt by his actions but now I know that he'd get abusive because he was drunk and actually he was out of his own control. It caused a lot of problems for us tho, dv, police then cyfs. It would come out of absolutely nowhere, I would be ordering a pizza or getting the kids an ice cream and I'd get punched in the face. Completely randomly. He would always think it was someone else started it tho, but it was all in his head. Dealing with all that and oh wow, the effects were just tremendous, I could never have known how it is for women in these situations without experiencing it. Suddenly I was in trouble with the law. I called the cops 1 time, he smashed my phone, tossed me round a bit, crushed me with his full body weight for 10 or 15 minutes I thought I was gonna die, he was ripping my ligament and I couldn't breath, so I bit him, to make him let go. I was arrested for biting him. That was the beginning of the end. We'd break up but I was so broken I started drinking heavily again then I guess. Bout 2 and a half years ago. Iv been arrested like, 3 times since. Just compounded upon those dv incidents. Failing to appear, just has ruined my life. Iv left my partner, who actually is a lovely good guy apart from the alcohol problems. I've left him and left my job, and moved cities to be closer to family, and now I'm just really lonely and so I have too much too drink because I like the company. I absolutely hate being alone. Because after I had my kids I was alone for 4 years, and I mean really alone, because I had moved cities, and my kids father was a jealous nutbag who wouldn't allow me to make friend with anybody which is hard at the best of times with young babies, so, thats my problem now. Loneliness I think, useless eh. I just left him, and he's my best friend, because he's a drunk, and now I'm being the friggin drunk, I'm so pissed with myself. And I'm looking at mayb losing my lisence or getting a police record now too. Plus I can't even drive my kids to hockey this month, or go to sports which was positive for me so I've really cocked shit up this time. In a big way. Also, having dropped my job too move here, I now can't drive to work if I can get a job or I'll have a drink driving conviction when applying for jobs, and it's all from alcohol, I hate it. I already hated it, I said so just last week. It's ruined my whole family. I lost my partner to it. And now I've lost my lisence too. Its gotta stop, I didn't ever want to go back to court ever again, but here I am merely months down the track.
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