My behavior frustrates me, my first post

[sweet79]

Hello,
I just turned 31! Happy Birthday! I turned 31 with a "routine" that I just started noticing has gotten worse within the last year. I have always been a social drinker, nothing out of the ordinary. I am a healthy consious person, I eat well, count my calories, and work out plently. I even teach aerobics twice a week! I am finding I am not practicing what I preach. Most recently, I have found a stress release in a bottle of wine. I am self employed and do not work more than a few times a week, so what stress do I need to run from? I have a loving fiance and a great step-son that lives with us, so I can't understand what I need from a bottle of wine? I get a bottle of wine each day, hide it in my closet, and swear to drink just one glass. Before the night is over, the whole bottle is GONE! I do this in secret, my fiance assumes I am drinking water. This happens almost every day, at least 5 times a week. So, I want to stop this madness! I"m so frustrated at my behavior. I have really high blood pressure, diagnosed at 23, nothing short of heredity. So wine does not help! I came here to know I am not alone and people like me exist. I do not classify myself as an alchoholic...yet....my goal is to stop hiding the bottle of wine and not drink at all, without purpose. Thanks to all...xoxo

[sapphire1]

My behavior frustrates me, my first post

Hi Sweet:welcome:

You have made a great decision to address this before it becomes a much bigger problem that it already is. I too am a fitness junkie, in fact until 7 months ago, I owned a Fitness Centre!!!!! Taught classes and weight training etc. etc. I had to give it all away because drinking had taken such a toll on my health!!!! I am currently devoting my time 100% to achieving wellness again. The fact that you are hiding your wine rings alarm bells very loudly!!! When you ask yourself why am I doing this, I have no stress, in my opinion, dont ask too many questions, just take some action to eliminate the urge to hide in the bottom of a bottle. A lot of us here started so called social drinking and as time went on, for one reason or other, sometimes stressful life situations, sometimes not, the drinking just escalated. Perhaps due to biochemical and neurological changes in the brain, we become hooked!! I spent too much time askiing "why" and not enough time acting on fixing the addiction. Anyway you have come to the right place. There is wealth of information here from people from all over the world. It has made my quest for sobriety so much easier. Are you looking for complete abstinence or trying to moderate your intake without hiding. My advice to you first of all is to get your bottle out of the closet and take the sneakiness out of the equation. Can you talk to your fiance about this? If you are looking to withdraw, and I think thats a good idea....get some alcohol free time under your belt, see how thats feels, get a clear head..its a good start. There is a Toolbox section in the Startingout thread, it is packed with ideas about how to stop etc. Look forward to talking to you more. Strength and grace, Saffy

[choice]

My behavior frustrates me, my first post

:welcome: Sweet79,

First off a big HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! 31 is a great time to address your drinking if your worried about it.

I found MWO because I was frustrated with my behavior as well. Wine is a very addictive substance. Your not alone in wanting to enjoy one or two glasses and wanting to stop there but can't. I remember telling my fiance that I wished they made wine bottles only big enough for 3 glasses, because I wished I had more willpower to stop. I've also been very upset when I run out of a bottle and wish I'd bought a bigger one. If your drinking is a secret you must know something is up. Good for you to find a place where you can figure out what your going to do about your health.

Good luck to you and there will be others along with tons of support.

:h Choice

[mama bear]

My behavior frustrates me, my first post

Welcome Sweet!!

[Doggygirl]

My behavior frustrates me, my first post

:welcome: Sweet and happy birthday.

I used to say I was drinking due to stress and all kinds of other reasons. But for me, it wasn't stress at all.

I am married to a completely normal, non-addicted drinker. He can truly take it or leave it, and usually leaves it. He can actually drink "one" and that is his preference. Alcohol is toxic and he responds to it like a toxin - more than one makes him "feel funny." More than one is what it takes for me to feel the beginning of "relief." A few other things about truly normal drinkers:

* they don't drink on a daily basis like I did.
* they don't hide bottles like I did.
* they don't lie about if and how much they have had to drink like I did.
* they don't buy AL from different liquor store so the "clerk won't know" like I did.
* they don't put their AL in a coffee cup or travel mug to disguise it like I did.
* they don't think constantly about whether they are an alcoholic or not like I did.

I suppose I could go on, but that is a good start on my own honest list of things surrounding drinking that were definitely not "normal drinker" for me.

Strength and hope to you! I hope you find the support you are looking for here at MWO.

DG

[Raven.joy]

My behavior frustrates me, my first post

If you have played cribbage then each round ends with 31, all the cards played thus are put aside, turned over and a new round begins. I think it's your box.