Mum of two giving it a try

[Tweed]

Hello everyone,

I have found this website a few days ago and have been really inspired by the stories and messages of support.

I have been problem drinking for about ten years. The drinking started when I moved to a new country and felt quite isolated from good friends and family.

I think I knew I had a problem about five years ago when I found that I could not stop at two or three drinks. When I got pregnant about four years ago I was really worried as I had never tried to stop drinking for more than a day or two. At that point I was drinking about 1/2 bottle of wine an evening every day, sometimes a bit more.

Thankfully, the first trimester of the pregnancy made me feel naseous about drinking so the process was nowhere near as difficult as I had feared. I did start to think about it more and more in my third trimester. As soon as my baby was born I started to drink immediately and it escalated very quickly. I was up to a bottle of wine every day while I was breastfeeding, and I felt horrible about it.

Things stayed at this level for just over a year and then I got pregnant with my second child. Exactly the same pattern, no drinking for the entire pregnancy (with the odd glass once a week later on in the pregnancy) and then back to a bottle of wine a day as soon as he was born. I breastfed whilst drinking again - insanity.

My second child is now almost two years old and I have hit bottom. I am about 20 pounds heavier than I have ever been and my health and self confidence are at an all time low. Have any of you gained a lot of weight when you were drinking? I'm hoping if I can stay AF I will lose this extra weight. I am suffering from stress and anxiety for the first time in my life. I'm not enjoying the kids like I should and I am being irritable around my family.

I went to see my GP about one month ago and she referred me into an alcohol treatment program at a local state hospital. This involves weekly meetings with a therapist and medication (Revia and Campral). I am at about three weeks with no drinking. I'm feeling really good about this. The main difference I have noticed is that I am sleeping so well. For the last ten years I have usually woken up about 2 or 3am worrying about silly things for hours. This has stopped!

My husband has no idea how bad the drinking has become over the last few years. He thinks I am drinking about 2-3 glasses a day when it was really a bottle each evening. The treatment centre has been pretty encouraging as I have come in for help at a stage where the drinking could have been worse. I am pleased to report that I did not have any physical withdrawal symptoms but I am having lots of cravings.

I am still hoping I could be a social drinker one day but after reading all of your posts I know this may not be possible for me.

I would appreciate any advice - especially from other mothers with small children, I know you must be out there! I find the kids so very stressful, I work full time as well so I'm struggling to find balance and the drinking in the evening was what I looked forward to in the day.

[mario]

Mum of two giving it a try

Hello & welcome tweed to a great community with lots of good advice and support by people who can relate to what your going through, read as many as the threads and posts as you can, post as often as you must as there is always someone here 27/7,Remember give yourself a chance in this battle,it can be won.

[greeneyes]

Mum of two giving it a try

Hi tweed and :welcome:

You might want to start by downloading and reading the MWO book. Look at the health store link at the top of this (and any) page. You can decide about modding after you get some AF (alcohol free) time behind you, say 30 days. I guess some can mod successfully, but I am most certainly not one of them. I happily remain totally AF. It's the only way for me and I gladly embrace it. You can have that too! Get comfy here and let us know how we can help.

[Pride before Fall]

Mum of two giving it a try

Tweed,

There are LOTS of moms here who could've written your post. Check out this thread and you'll see what I mean:
https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...ing-22609.html

My fiance had no idea how much I was drinking, either. I was a gifted hider, because I was so ashamed.

Welcome!

xoxo Pride

[Choochie]

Mum of two giving it a try

Tweed, :welcome:There are several moms here - Jenny and Lilmichelle - look for their posts. There are more, but I can't think who they are right now. Be sure to visit the Toolbox where there is a tremendous amount of information that will help you.

https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...box-27556.html

Be sure to take the time to read all you possibly can on this site. As Greenie says, it would be good to get 30 sober days so you can think clearly about the decision to moderate or abstain. I, like Greenie, cannot moderate but have found being sober to be a true gift. I have never felt better.

You wouldn't believe how many people (including myself) had your exact symptoms of waking at 3am, worried about nothing/everything/ anxious and unable to go back to sleep only to wake feeling awful if they did get any sleep after waking. That was my pattern exactly and it's now gone. I sleep wonderfully every night.

Sending you peace and strength.

Choochie

[mama bear]

Mum of two giving it a try

Hi Tweed and welcome. I am a mom of teenagers and you have come to the right place. Post,read, post, read.....we are here for you. I just hit my 30 day sober mark after trying since February!!

[sapphire1]

Mum of two giving it a try

Hi Tweed,

Welcome. I am a mum of four, single for the last ten years. I understand exactly how you feel. It is hard work looking after children of any age, small children bring different challenges to older ones. I know how it feels to wake at 3am and do the head miles......sheer torture. Drinking before bed is a sure-fire way to cause interruped sleep patterns and anxiety. The depressant effect of the alcohol wears off and then our nervous system starts screaming for more, because it is exposed and raw and needing calming chemicals. Sleep deprivation by itself is a major cause of mental health and other physical problems. If you can manage some al free time, slowly your sleep patterns and nervous system will re-adjust. It is amazing how much healing a good nights sleep can do and in the light of day, problems dont seem quite so bad. My advice is to get some serious al free time, allow your body to restore somewhat and then look at your options. I know without any shadow of doubt that I can never ever drink again. It took a long time for me to surrender to that but now that I have, it is such a blessed relief. As your children get older, you are going to need as much physical and emotional/mental strength as you can possibly give yourself. It will make the difference between a joyful experience with them or a bloody nightmare. If I had my timeover again (I dont dwell on this) I would have ditched the poison a long time ago. This insidious disease can be beaten and when it is, a whole new world of gratitude and peace will open up for you. Sending you strength, love and grace, Saffxx

[sapphire1]

Mum of two giving it a try

mama bear;1015251 wrote: Hi Tweed and welcome. I am a mom of teenagers and you have come to the right place. Post,read, post, read.....we are here for you. I just hit my 30 day sober mark after trying since February!!

Fantastic stuff there mama...YOU ROCK:goodjob::h

[gyco]

Mum of two giving it a try

hi tweed,i did write a few times but i think all leave the breast feeding to the ladies,but think about this,think about when you drank,and you mite of fell down or lost your composure,now think about what the baby felt ,kind of like taking a blast of adrenalin,you are very fortunate,you caught it at its early stages,some of us have not been so fortunate,and a word to partners or husbands or wifes ,that dont have the addiction,feel yourselves fortunate,you dont have the battle we have each day,i wouldnt wish it on my worse enemy.i wish you well my dear,gyco

[Tweed]

Mum of two giving it a try

Thanks to you all for your messages, I'm feeling really strong and positive and almost at three weeks. I don't want my kids to see me drinking every night and I completely agree about needing energy to raise these two spirited children! I'll try and post regularily and good luck to you all as well!

[MrsB]

Mum of two giving it a try

Hi Tweed,

This is my first post. I am a mum of two young children one is three the other will be one next week. I too was drinking a bottle of wine a night and used to wake up at 4am every single night. I am now AF for 12 days and although I am sleeping so much better I am really really tired all the time, did you feel this way? Did anyone else feel this? Is there anything I can do to help? I don’t want it on my medical record and as I will succeed (do you like the determination!) I do not think I need to come clean with the doctor unless necessary. Apart from the extreme tiredness I feel great about my decision. I even have my Christmas party next week and am looking forward to it despite the fact I won’t be drinking.

My Mum and all her family are big drinkers (three drank themselves to death at a young age another two have no quality to their lives because of drink – my Mum being one of them). I will not have my children growing up watching me get slowly drunk every night in front of the telly.

I am so glad I found this website, when the road gets difficult I know I will find inspiration in all these stories.

Best of luck Tweed – we can do this.

[Miss Behaving]

Mum of two giving it a try

Welcome to you MrsB - from one to another :H:H

Welldone to you, and you too Tweed on you AF time. I think tiredness is pretty common in early days - I think it is partly the emotion of taking this enormous step, and partly a process of our bodies eliminating a whole of toxic build up.

Stick around - this is a greeat place to get support and help

[Tweed]

Mum of two giving it a try

Hi Mrs B, I haven't found myself getting really tired all the time, but I am only on week three of my journey. I have been told I need to get to 30 days to truly start to feel really healthy. I am finding that I am more present in the evenings with the kids, now that I am not rushing them off to bed to have my wine ...

I do think it is important to combine the not drinking with meds and/or therapy, so if you find the road getting difficult, don't worry about it being on your medical record. I was worried as well and then I thought, this is ridiculous, as if it could help me get healthy why worry about that?? I will just have to answer, yes, I have alcohol dependence on future insurance questionnaires etc.. to be truthful!

Right now the therapy has me working on working out where the stress is in my body and then I think we start on breathing exercises next week. My goal is to get three months of AF first, then re-evaluate. The more I read in here, the more I think that alcohol has no place in my life at all anymore.

Good luck to you! I'll keep you all posted on my progress. Today is three weeks exactly, I'm sure it will be hard for us all heading into the Christmas season.

[MrsB]

Mum of two giving it a try

Thank you Tweed and Miss Behaving.

Still feeling great about my decision to never drink again. I am now taking milk thistle and vitamins so hoping the tiredness will soon lift.

Reading threads like 5 years sober just makes me so much stronger. I will not touch a drop again. Bring on the rest of my life sober I am looking forward to remembering it!

[Choochie]

Mum of two giving it a try

:welcome: Mrs. B - just wanted to congratulate you on your decision to give up alcohol. You will not regret it, and in fact will be thrilled that you came to this decision. I have never felt better and been happier.

Choochie