Lost Everything

[Tabbers (a.k.a. KTAB)]

Lost Everything

Hi English, I was not for one minute suggesting you shouldn't abstain, mearly pointing out that as the haze of AL lifts we can begin to see things so much more clearly. Really you have to do what's right for you firstly and only then take into consideration what other peole think.
Its great that have found us and true what you say, we really do get it.

[Pride before Fall]

Lost Everything

Today I have been offered a great job. >> CONGRATS, Saff! And glad you don't have to crawl over broken glass to get it. You deserve it. Your resolve is so inspiring. : )

EW, Welcome. I went for "never again" versus 30 days and it has--knock wood--worked out for me (at least this time--not so much the first time I tried to quit, back in 2001...). Addiction's a sneaky bugger though, and "I could just have one now since I'm over it" thoughts might pop in and surprise you. In which case, you might switch to smaller bites (30 days or even one-day-at-a-time).

I write about drug and alcohol research for a living (ha ha ha), and the one consistently powerful component in successful sobriety is the support of people in similar straits, so I'm glad you're here.

xoxo Pride

[EnglishWriter77]

Lost Everything

Thanks Pride! Saff- sorry I should have said congrats also! That does give me hope...sometimes I think I will never return to anything like my 'former glory'

KTAB - No I know thanks. I would find it very nice if one day I could just have a beer with the lads or a glass of wine with dinner. Funnily enough one thing I m dreading about this Sunday's family gathering is that my roast dinner won't be quite the same with a glass of coke

[Tabbers (a.k.a. KTAB)]

Lost Everything

I hung on to that dream too long, gets me into nothing but trouble. Roast dinner and coke yuk, I would ditch the coke for lemon water or unsweeetened cranberry.

[EnglishWriter77]

Lost Everything

Unsweetened cranberry - good call! I can pretend it's kinda like red wine Thanks!

I also know everyone will feel guilty drinking around me. Do I make a speech at the start for them to all just enjoy it, maybe ease the tension a bit?

[Pride before Fall]

Lost Everything

I do that with blueberry juice, EW; and in the balloon glasses. Damned if I'm going to give up the pretty stemware to a neurotoxin that tried to kill me. ; )

Another mocktail I like is tonic with lime (bag the gin). Clean and dry, versus sickly sweet like most soft drinks.

Try not to feel guilty (cheap advice from someone who agonizes over making other people feel uncomfortable). The people that love you will be happy for you. I don't make a big deal out of it or even bring it up unless people ask. My experience so far has been that only people with their own heightened awareness of drinking--i.e., people that drink too much, like I did--will feel uncomfortable or even say something. The friend who asks me in for a beer at 1 pm in the afternoon is the one who said "don't be a tightass!" to a simple "no thank you" on the wine being passed at a dinner party.

Quitting over the holidays is a real baptism by fire. Good for you! : )

Pride

[Tabbers (a.k.a. KTAB)]

Lost Everything

Hard for me to say really, depends on who they are. I probably wouldn't bring it up, after all its your business alone and besides which it could actually make people more uncomfortable.

[greeneyes]

Lost Everything

English, it comes up again and again on this board that we continue to be amazed at how many people don't notice/don't care if or what we are drinking. Occasionally I would do the festive (sparkling grape, etc) in a wine glass but more in keeping with the reason I would wear high heels - just to be dressy. I laughed to myself when at Thanksgiving everyone had a glass of wine in the fine crystal and I had a blue plastic pool cup of plain tap water. :H I probably had on "sensible" shoes. :H:H

[EnglishWriter77]

Lost Everything

Thanks again all.

It's family and they all know of my problem (quite too well, sadly) - I wouldn't mention to strangers/friends as you say.

Good ideas for Mocktails there

I guess I just don't want to ruin their dinner through worrying about my silly arse and I'll get paranoid.

I am struggling a lot with paranoia at the moment. Walking around the mall today was a nightmare. "Everyone's looking at me! They KNOW! Am I walking funny? Twitching?" etc. I hope I am not the same in the restaurant.

[techie]

Lost Everything

Hello EW. That shroud of uneasiness paranoia will lift. I was that way for about a week uncomfortable, without my crutch. I wish you well on your road to sobriety and happiness!

[EnglishWriter77]

Lost Everything

Thanks Techie! I hope before Sunday

I've heard some people advocate Valium. Is that just swapping one problem for another?

[kelvie]

Lost Everything

Hi EW, i'm on seresta (oxezepam ?) variations on a theme of valium... 15 days and then you taper off. It's easier than cold turkey, but does feel like a strange chemical holiday. I've been useless all day, quietly detached from any feelings. Not sure i'd like to be in company the way i am at the moment, i'm sooooo spaced ! Yep, it can be addictive, but i've f'ked up on a year + of moderation/bingeing and just can't do this (3rd time in this life) on my own this time. I'm stranded in the sticks being a single parent, too much time on my hands to think and the days can be very l o n g... If what's left of my brain cell remembers rightly you have been AF a week ? If so, the paranoia should calm down soon. Also i was prescribed and definitely recommend b vitamins (esp b1, B6, B12) as booze kills those and a lack of them does weird things to mood, perceptions, remember to try and eat frequent small healthy meals, and drink plenty of water, fruit juice - watch out for caffeine in all forms, it can make things worse. - I don't have a sweet tooth but have eaten half a jar of serious organic lemon honey, latent sugar cravings. Good luck with your family meal, least said might be easier, your actions will speak louder than words and if people comment (favourably or otherwise) it ultimately says more about them, their expectations and beliefs than you. Will think of you on sunday and sure others here will too.

[JackieClaire]

Lost Everything

EnglishWriter77;1024218 wrote:

I've heard some people advocate Valium. Is that just swapping one problem for another?

Hi English,

Just sticking me nose in again. I took valium (diazapam) for help with a de-tox. It's really only used for helping through the first few days de-toxing in case of severe withdrawal symptoms. Like kelvie I was like a wet blanket for a few days. There are OTC remedies like Kalms but unfortunately they take a couple of weeks to kick in. Crikey doesn't this sound all gloom and doom.
Anyhoo as you're cracking along into your second week you should be having extreme withdrawals and by just avoiding the caffeine should help keep the anxiety down.

Honestly I know you'll be as anxious as hell on Sunday but I'm afraid it's just a bit of gritting your teeth time, grabbing a glass of something non AL as soon as you get there and smiling 'til your face aches.

[EnglishWriter77]

Lost Everything

Hi Kelvie - thanks for that! Sorry to hear you're living as a ghost of your former self but hopefully if you can get through it, it's for the greater good as it were.

The funny thing for me and medication is that I have been to the DR a few times now asking for some help and they have given me something that has '...chloride' in it somewhere(I can't remember exactly or find it online sorry) to last a few days and some Thiamine.

I won't lie, it does stop the shakes a bit, but really low dosage doesn't really stop the cravings so much and to be honest the DR wasn't that interested so stopped going for help. I found this unusual as at that point I was drinking LITRES of vodka a week and practically could feel my organs hurting.

Yes AF 1 week - struggling tonight as meal gets closer but am just avoiding that walk to the store!

Caffeine is good advice though thanks as I do like my coffee..

Thanks again all...

EDIT: Thanks to you too JC - will do

[kelvie]

Lost Everything

Only LITRES of vodka a week !! To be blunt, don't think much or your DR. Mine is cool, very supportive and being french all too happy to stuff me full of drugs (no thanks, valium is MORE than enough !) You've made much more than one baby step on this journey, would respectfully suggest you find a gp who would be willing to help you help yourself- routine blood test, check the liver status, that kind of thing - it's easier to saty sober if you are healthy as you feel stronger and things are easier to handle. You are not avoiding the walk to the store, you are CHOOSING not to go, if you see what i mean, seriously, pat yourself on the back for the success you have made so far. Btw, sometimes the situation you think will be hardest (eg sunday) turns out not to be so bad after all. Neither you nor i are the first (or last) to be dealing with this stuff, sober is possible (and in time wonderful) so wtf did i blow it !!!! Go easy on yourself, one day, one minute, one second at a time even, every sober second counts and is worth more than all those wasted hours alcohol steals from a life!!