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    #1

    It's time to take control ...

    This is the 3rd time I have come to MWO and tried to stop drinking. Actually the first time my intent was to moderate but that didn't work. The second time was to stop and that didn't work either. I have come to realize that it is my decision to stop and I have to be the one to make the commitment. This site has helped me immensely. I really dont have a tragic story behind me. Was raised in a very loving home. I'm happily married and have two grown children who are both very successful. I have a job that I love so I keep asking myself why I am doing this to myself. I truly believe that my drinking started out of boredom and eventually got out of control. I am working on day 6 AF and this is a HUGE accomplishment! I did go maybe 8 days the last time and I'm not sure why this time feels different, but I am bound and determined to keep it going. The support here is amazing and I feel like I give back as much as I get. I think it is the realization that you think this problem is yours alone and noone else knows how you feel. NOT TRUE! We all have so much in common with each other. I think that's what keeps bringing me back here. I would typically drink a small bottle of wine EVERY NIGHT and now my choice of poison is herbal tea and lemon water. The L-Glutamine seems to be working better for me this time - maybe because I want this so bad I have myself convinced that this time I will be successful. Wish me luck - I'm probably going to need it
    Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.
    Tags: None
    #2
    It's time to take control ...

    Welcome, good post! You can do this!
    You always succeed if you never stop trying.
    Everyday we choose the direction of change.

    Comment

      #3
      It's time to take control ...

      Hi Jolie! We have met on some of the newbie threads, it's been so nice getting to know you. Thank you for sharing your story with us. I, too, would drink at least a small bottle of wine every night and I too, make herbal tea my choice of "poison" (in fact, I am sipping some detox tea right now...lol), but I guess we can refer to this as a healing beverage than a poisonous one, as the vino in excess was!

      Kudos on your accumulation of AF Days! I am right there with you!
      Whatever you invest in the circle of LIFE is what comes back to you. Multiplied. What you give to people is what they eventually give back to you. Don't do the math. Just increase your LOVE.

      BE HAPPY...BE CONNECTED...BE HEALTHY!       :h

      Comment

        #4
        It's time to take control ...

        Blondie - thanks for posting on my thread! I love one herbal tea in particular - lemon zinger by celstial seasonings. I might have to try the detox tea. Did you feel in the least bit embarassed when you bought it wondering if the clerk would wonder why you were buying the "detox" tea? I know - stupid but sometimes I think about these things. Just like when I was drinking I would try to mix up the liquor stores I would go to so the clerks wouldn't get too used to me. Like to know if they are all wondering where in the heck I am

        In a better a place without the AL!

        I'd really like to be here for you since we are both about the same place in our attempt to quit. My resolve is really strong this time - had cravings the first week but now only have an occasional one.

        Hope you have a great day friend!

        :l
        Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

        Comment

          #5
          It's time to take control ...

          Hey Jollie, your story does sound familar. I also drink out of bordom and a bottle of wine a night on average. Stress is also a trigger for me because wine does relax the tension and helps fade away the anxiety....at least for the moment. I guess we all know that it doesn't fix things in the long run, it only makes the situation worse.

          Well it sounds like the third time is going to be the charm for you Jolie. Today is day 14 for me. Let's keep on keep on....we can do this!
          Change your thoughts, and you change your world. - Norman Vincent Peale

          Comment

            #6
            It's time to take control ...

            Hi Jolie, your consumption is the same as mine. Red wine is my poison and by some standards, my problem is small compared to many but I have come to realize that I have let the wine control me rather than the other way around so I have to admit I have a problem. There is no need for me or you or any of us to drink ourselves into a stupor every night. Gotta get some L-Glutamine. The best of luck to you in reaching your goals. Tips
            Tipplerette

            I do this for my children, my grandchildren, my health, my peace of mind, and mostly for the opportunity to learn to live with my true, unfiltered, clear-headed, vulnerable self.

            "If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading."
            ? Lao-Tzu

            Comment

              #7
              It's time to take control ...

              Jude,

              Thanks for the encouragement and hopefully third time will be a charm. Doing okay so far. Let's do this together!

              Tips - exactly right when you say our consumption is small compared to others - the only difference for me was that I could never stop at one or two, and it would have to be every night. I really don't want to go back to that - shooting for 30 days and beyond. I totally agree about it controlling me as well - would never want to go out after getting home or even on the weekends - that would mess up my routine! When you constantly worry about whether or not you will have enough stockpiled up so you don't run out, something is wrong. Hope you are doing well and feeling positive!

              Thanks
              Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

              Comment

                #8
                It's time to take control ...

                Jolie;1043053 wrote: Blondie - thanks for posting on my thread! I love one herbal tea in particular - lemon zinger by celstial seasonings. I might have to try the detox tea. Did you feel in the least bit embarassed when you bought it wondering if the clerk would wonder why you were buying the "detox" tea? I know - stupid but sometimes I think about these things. Just like when I was drinking I would try to mix up the liquor stores I would go to so the clerks wouldn't get too used to me. Like to know if they are all wondering where in the heck I am

                In a better a place without the AL!

                I'd really like to be here for you since we are both about the same place in our attempt to quit. My resolve is really strong this time - had cravings the first week but now only have an occasional one.

                Hope you have a great day friend!

                :l
                Hi Jolie! I would also go to different liquor stores throughout the week so I wasn't going to the same one all the time and having people know how much wine I was really buying in a given week. I, too, wonder if the clerks have noticed that I'm no longer going in to shop anyway, where I am and why the wine I always bought wasn't selling as fast as it used to?... I bought pallets of wine over the years, so I'm sure they have noticed a drop in sales at least :H

                On the tea, I also like the Lemon Zinger as a good old standby. Celestial has really expanded their selection of blends over the years and I'm finding some really good ones. Hubby and I both like their "Sleepytime Vanilla" tea, I really do think it helps get me to sleep now, now that I am no longer relying on being buzzed to help me get to sleep. As for being concerned about what folks thought when I bought the Daily Detox AM tea, I actually bought it at the health food store where I am a manager, lol. And detoxing is such a hot topic right now that no one flinched. The tea doesn't say liver detox (although we have one that does say that by another tea vendor), so I never really thought anyone would think anything other than, oh, she's just buying her tea. I also buy a brand called Yogi tea, which puts out some tasty blends, like Sweet Thai (has coconut in it) and a really good relaxation tea with lavender in it, but it doesn't taste like soap...lol.

                It's wonderful that we are here for each other! I look forward to getting to know you better. In the meantime, have a wonderful AF evening and I hope tomorrow has all the best in store for you.
                Whatever you invest in the circle of LIFE is what comes back to you. Multiplied. What you give to people is what they eventually give back to you. Don't do the math. Just increase your LOVE.

                BE HAPPY...BE CONNECTED...BE HEALTHY!                 :h

                Comment

                  #9
                  It's time to take control ...

                  Blondie,
                  I love your quote! I seriously can't believe how much I let AL take control of my life. Everything revolved around it and thinking back on it, that's pretty sad. Did you drink openly in front of your family? Not me - hid it by mixing it with soda (and pretending it was tea), or in a coffee cup. So pathetic. Would hide the boxes in the basement ... looking back I have to wonder what in the hell I was thinking. I would never drink and drive but if hubby and I would ever go out somewhere (this included Christmas shopping just recently), I would hammer them down before we left and then take a "to go cup" with me. Feel so ashamed for my total lack of control.

                  How are you feeling at this point? I'm on day 16 - most I've ever gone and I am feeling like a new person. Maybe liking myself a little more (without the guilt and self-loathing) is helping as well as not pushing all that poison down my throat. Now I'm just praying that I haven't done any permanent damage after almost 10 years of this madness.

                  Thanks for all the info on the teas! I really like the lemon zinger - bought a variety box of the celestial brand once but really only like the lemon and every once in a while, the blueberry. I would love to try the Yogi that tastes like coconut and will definitely try the sleepytime vanilla. Sleep is coming easier but some nights I still find myself tossing and turning to get to sleep. One good thing - no more 3:30 a.m. wake-up calls with me once again wondering why I drank the night before!

                  Hope you have a wonderful day! Thanks for sharing!

                  Jolie
                  Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

                  Comment

                    #10
                    It's time to take control ...

                    Morning Jolie! My life revolved around AL also, and I agree, it is very sad now that we look back on it sober, isn't it? I did in fact drink in front of my family and friends...my husband and I used to drink together every night. He drinks beer, which I can't stand, and continues to drink moderately. I'm fine with that. My mother drinks like a fish, in fact, it was she who used to buy me wine back in my late teens which started this whole mess, yikes! So, whenever we have a family gathering, it is a sure bet that, sadly, she will overdo it on the white wine and we have simply accepted that. She even admits it but it comes out like a joke when she says it and as we all know, it is serious business! My husbands family drinks also, so it will be interesting the next time we all get together. I am hosting Easter dinner this year (I know, planning way early...lol), and they will all be here. I will be the only sober one. I hosted Christmas at our place, and I was still drinking. And everyone else was too. My big challenge will be hubby's birthday at the end of this month which will be the first family gathering since I've been sober. We are going out to eat and I know I will be the only one not ordering drinks. I will be turning to MWO quite a bit to prepare for that, I'm sure!

                    Anyway, yes, I used to take a "sippy" cup with me when we went out. Red wine, of course, which usually spilled over everything. I'm so glad I don't have to worry about red wine stains anymore, cause you simply can't get them out most of the time!

                    That's fantastic for you...DAY 16! I am not far behind, this is the start of day 11 for me and YES, I feel wonderful too! Even though I'm about to head out to work and it's snowing out, who cares, I feel like a million bucks. I'll check in later, have a super day!
                    Whatever you invest in the circle of LIFE is what comes back to you. Multiplied. What you give to people is what they eventually give back to you. Don't do the math. Just increase your LOVE.

                    BE HAPPY...BE CONNECTED...BE HEALTHY!                     :h

                    Comment

                      #11
                      It's time to take control ...

                      Good morning Blondie!

                      How are you doing today? I had a pretty strong urge last night on my way home from work - yikes - what's up with that? Got home - poured myself a glass of tea and started making dinner. Stayed busy the rest of the night but didn't really sleep as well as I have been. Hopefully it's just a bump in the road and it won't happen too often. Trying to plan a lot of get togethers with some friends this weekend so I am preoccupied. Weekends are the hardest cause I'm usually home by myself for most of the day.

                      How are you doing? Is it Day 12 or 13 for you? I see they are watching another storm out in the midwest that could dump some more snow on us by the weekend Enough already!

                      Hope you have a great day! Let me know how you are doing! If you want, we can pm each other

                      Jolie
                      Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

                      Comment

                        #12
                        It's time to take control ...

                        Hi Jolie! I just posted in the "Nest"! Good job on not giving in last night. Me too! Today is day 12. Yay! Imagine how great we will really feel when Spring rolls around and we experience that first real Spring day completely sober! (you will be getting that sooner than me up here in MA...we really don't see any decent weather until end of April). Yes, I heard about that storm coming up quick...I believe we're supposed to get hit on Friday and then a real cold front on the weekend. Hubby and I are trying to book a trip to get outta here in March...somewhere warm, depends on how much we get back on the old tax return, you know? Are you going on any trips? Do you have children? We don't, well, we consider our doggie and 2 kitties our "kids" and go so far as to send their photos out in Christmas cards, like my friends do with their children...lol.

                        I know what you mean about the weekend and having the day to yourself and maybe that being a challenge? I actually have today and tomorrow as my days off since I work all weekend. So this is "my weekend" so to speak! The first week I was sober (as in last week!) I was kind of nervous about my 2 days off because I would usually putter around the house in the morning, cleaning and what not, then by noon time, I was bored and by 2 or 3PM, started in with the wine! It was awful! So, I have to be sure to keep busy, keep reading and posting here, exercise and eat right to help deter my thoughts of AL. I have to go into town to run some errands too, so that will help take up a chunk of time this afternoon. But I really am not worried about it today because I have you all to help me out and that has been such a blessing!

                        Good day my friend! I'll be on and off here throughout the day so I hope you're having a great one, despite the weather!
                        Whatever you invest in the circle of LIFE is what comes back to you. Multiplied. What you give to people is what they eventually give back to you. Don't do the math. Just increase your LOVE.

                        BE HAPPY...BE CONNECTED...BE HEALTHY!                         :h

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