Typing, not drinking.

[fighting back]

Have a bit of an urge to run out to the offie before it shuts (old habits die hard) so I thought I?d type instead and get some thoughts down. I may or may not post it, don?t know yet.

My story?well that would take a while so just some random bits for now, I think. I grew up around drink, my father and mother both drank to excess. It wasn't uncommon where we lived, in fact it was the norm. Dad was worse, but he quit completely in his early fifties, thats when he really started to shine and live the life he thought was impossible. The last 25 years of his life were the best times he had ever known, he was finally free.

All of my siblings drank, I have lost a brother and a sister, not to drink, but it sure didn't help. I started around aged 18, but didn't drink to excess back then, I guess the things I had seen in my family influenced me and I was careful.

Marriage number 1 was a disaster. I drank a fair bit around the time we split, but my Dad was a great help and I managed to get back on track.

Now, I am married to a wonderful but very hard working man, we have a grown up daughter who is engaged and lives with her fianc?. I also work, a good job, responsible and interesting but not without stress.

Over the last twelve months I found myself drinking more. I don?t know whether it?s down to just being bored when my hubby isn?t around, stress, whatever. What I do know now as I type this is that these are all excuses. I drank too much because it was easy to drink, to not worry about getting to sleep and because it ?relaxed? me. I usually start work late in the day so I can function very well, I am even a bit of a keep fit fanatic and go running, watch my diet carefully etc so that most people who know me wouldn?t even know I was a drinker.

I haven?t really made a connection with this site on the level that so many others have (on a personal level that is) but I think that is because I have been trying to find my own feet and there are so many different options and opinions that I found it overwhelmed me. But I visit every day because I know that there is a lot of support and good advice here.

I hope the ?modding? works for me, like a few others have mentioned, it is daunting to say I am never going to drink again and I know myself well enough to understand that for me that is setting myself up for failure. But I will say I am pretty determined not to drink alone again. For me personally, the reason I was overweight for so long was that ?dieting? didn?t work. It just set me up to fail. I tried them all and always ended up heavier than when I started even if had shed some weight, I piled it back on and more.

It wasn?t until I took a very personal approach, set my short term goals, educated myself about portions and carb/ protein/fat ratios and exercise and applied it to myself that I was successful.

I think I am going to take a similar route with this.

So, here is where I am at. I had some AL free time (which I really enjoyed) and I am now moderating. I shared some champagne with my hubby on Saturday but I haven?t had anything since and I don?t intend to until he or my daughter or my friends are there to share it with me. If I do it at all. I guess we?ll see.

I am learning so much every day, reading Allen Carr, taking my vitamins, and starting on Kudzu tomorrow if I ever figure out how much to take.

Well this is a ramble, apologies if I do decide to post it. Now the off licence is closed and the witching hour has passed and I feel a great sense of relief for another sober day.

Going to have a bath and read some more. Anyone who takes the time to read, thank you.

And thank you all for your input on this site. The feeling I get here is that every post helps someone, somewhere.

[professionalwino]

Typing, not drinking.

Congrats, while I am going through a bad spot right now I have been AF before and i was the happiest at those times, you seem to have a lot going for you in your life, take care of yourself so you can protect that. There are millions of excuses to drink, but only one to make you stop, YOU. it has nothing to do with your family or friends as much as it may affect them, you need to take care of yourself and be happy, and realize you deserve to be happy.

much love
-PW

[Kimberley]

Typing, not drinking.

Hey there FB, good job on posting to wind down the time until the offie shut - that was a really good idea.

Thanks for sharing part of your story with us - it's great that you have your dad to use as inspiration.

K x

[fighting back]

Typing, not drinking.

prof, I hope you are doing better and cutting back on the vodka, baby steps

I know what you mean about 'protecting' my life and the good things in it, it is just that AL has had other ideas. I am not going to let AL ruin my life, and I will use every resource that I have and be as methodical as I was with the weight loss last year to get control back.

Kimberley, thank you. My Dad stopping drinking was a major turning point in his life and in our relationship. He went from being a miserable drunk to being the most happy, positive person. He tried and failed a few times, just like all of us do. But then he seemed to hit the switch, or have a lightbulb moment and that was it. And he was around the same age as I am right now when he stopped

[spuddleduck]

Typing, not drinking.

thanks for sharing and what a good idea to pass the witching hour. its often good just to write stuff down. i agree, take example from you dad. which version of him would you rather be. i bet its not the miserable drunk.

[tlrgs]

Typing, not drinking.

thankx for xharing nicely done and keep typing

[fighting back]

Typing, not drinking.

Starded Kudzu today, not sure yet. It made me sleepy, I think......or that could just be down to my body adjusting and a Tapas feast for lunch! (Tapas with just water and no sangria!)

Too tired and lazy to even think about AL tonight.