SALUTATIONS! That?s what Wilbur said to Charlotte when he first met the spider in the book ?Charlotte? Web? (one of my favorite children?s books & movies!). And I can?t think of a better word to greet you all with than that! This is my first post; I have been ?lurking? on this forum for about a week now (well, lurking sounds kind of creepy but I have been touched and humbled by all of your stories and feel compelled to join in the wonderful ?web? of support and share my story, in hopes that it might help someone else as you have all helped me). By the way, thank you all for helping me get to day 5 of sobriety! This site has been a tremendous source of strength for me in getting through the week sober and you did all of this without even knowing I was out here! Thank you Thank you THANK YOU! I will jump on in on the Newbies/Just Starting Out threads, but I figured the "My Story" section is a better place to post this particular post, as it really is about my "story"!
How did I get to be an alcoholic? My mother is one for starters. She and I would drink a few glasses of wine before dinner back in my late teens when I was home for the summers in between college. When I went back to school out of state, I never drank, it was just at home with my Mom. My mother is still with us, in her early 70?s, and drinks her wine everyday. I have not told her that I am sober yet but I know she has mentioned before that she thought she was a bad influence for me in that regard, so I think she will be happy for me, even though I know she will continue to drink her wine when around me.
Then I got married shortly after graduating from college. I married an alcoholic, who ended up being a mean drunk and mentally and physically abusive. I escaped the marriage with my life (and my dog!), in my late 20?s. I remember reading one of those funny magnets which went something like this: ?Better to Have Loved and Lost Than Have Spent the Rest of Your Life With a Psycho!? This, sadly, was very true in my situation. I did not escape AL at that time though. Instead, I led the party girl single life, and met people and did things that I am not proud of today, but that is all in the past.
Fast forward a few years later to meeting the man of my dreams, my wonderful husband. In fact, we are celebrating our 1st wedding anniversary this coming weekend! This time last year, we were packing our bags to fly off to sunny Jamaica where we had a dreamy destination wedding on the beach! And since we live in the Northeast, escaping to a tropical paradise was quite the treat. I wish we were going today as we are faced with the severe blizzard predicted for coastal Massachusetts. Anyway, it is kind of cozy being inside these sort of days and waking up with a clear head even when it?s snowing out makes it a beautiful morning no matter what. My husband drinks craft beers regularly, good thing I do not like beer as it is in the house?lol. I told him earlier this week that I am giving up AL for a while as I thought I was drinking too much. At first I thought I could limit it to special occasions, like a few times a year, but I am really leaning toward permanently being AF as I am seeing far too many benefits in such a short time. For our wedding anniversary this weekend, I plan to drink flavored seltzer out of a champagne glass so at least it ?feels? like a special drink?lol. I do have a bottle of champagne in the fridge (never really liked Champagne?it is left over from New Year?s), but I?m sure hubby will have a glass or 2 on our anniversary and the rest of the bottle I can use as a hair rinse once it has gone flat (yes, any left over beer or champagne adds body to your locks as a final rinse in the shower?the only good thing I think it does for you!). I think it has to do the sugars in the AL which are good for your hair. Read it in a natural healthy hair book?lol. However, I am not advocated buying booze to have in the house for your shiny locks! It?s just a way I can justify getting rid of that bottle of bubbly?lol.
I was actually NOT planning to give up AL as a New Year?s resolution for 2011 and here is a roundabout way of how I came to being sober for 5 days, and you guys play a major role here?thank you! Everyday (for over a decade, plus a few years) I would wake up, hung over after my night of drinking several glasses of red wine (my poison of choice was a nice, rich Cabernet) telling myself that this had to stop and I would not drink later that day, only to go to work and come home again, reaching for my wine glass and filling it to the brim. And so the cycle continued. I was never a morning drinker and I never drank while at work, BUT on my 2 days off each week, I would find myself reaching for a glass of wine around 2 or 3 in the afternoon, justifying it because it was my day off, or didn?t French women always have a glass of wine with their midday meal?, etc., etc. Well, one glass (as we know) turns into 2 and so on and so forth. So, by 4PM, I was already quite buzzed and the evening hadn?t even begun yet. Other days, I would come home from work around 6PM, anxious for my first glass of wine and ended up drinking several before the night was over. I would skip lunch so I would come home on a really empty stomach so the wine would hit me quicker, how bad is that? Oh, and I switched over to buying boxed wine for 2 reasons?1: For economy?s sake and 2: Because you can?t see how far down the box gets like you can in a regular bottle! Heck, a regular sized bottle of wine was a ?single serving? with my huge wine goblets?lol. Anyway, shame on those wineries that have come out with darn good quality boxed wine over the years! I ended up buying a box of wine (equivalent to 4 bottles) about every other day, just so I wouldn?t run out. That?s a few boxes a week, way too much! Anyway, I wanted to shed a few pounds for the start of the year, (about 10 pounds, since hubby and I want to go back to Jamaica later this winter, and he mentioned something about seeing me in a bikini again?yikes!) so I started a new way of eating, which is low carb. Actually, I am not only doing it just for the ?bikini fear factor?, but because I truly feel better eating this way as a whole, not just for vanity?s sake! For those of you familiar with it, it is the Atkins diet. I have pretty much eaten this way to maintain my weight, through all that high carb wine drinking, but I never fully gave the diet a chance to work its magic because I never could cut out the alcohol, which is a requirement for the first few weeks of the diet, referred to as ?Induction?, where you have to restrict your carbs to about 20 per day. And I was drinking well over that on wine alone?lol! This brings me to how I found MyWayOut.org. Well, I wasn?t looking for an AF support site, I was actually Googling how many carbs in a glass of red wine, so I could fit it into my daily carb count?how sad is that? Then, fortunately for me, I did stumble on this site and I have been visiting every day since. After a rather heavy drinking spell last Friday night and waking up with a severe hangover Sat. am (I work early on Sat. am, so that always stinks!), I decided to GIVE UP THE WINE and follow the low carb diet to a tee. And I am so happy I did. Here are the benefits I am seeing so far:
1-A good night?s rest for once! I can sleep a full 8 hours, even if I get up once in the middle of the night, I fall back to sleep easily. When I was drinking, I was in the pattern of waking up at 2AM and being wide awake until 4 or 5AM and then wake up exhausted.
2-Waking up without a hangover! I still shake my head in the morning to see how bad the wine headache is?well, it?s no longer there!!! I wake up actually humming while I make my morning coffee. This morning I was humming Bob Marley?s ?Every Little Thing is Gonna Be Alright? And how true it is.
3-The bloating my my stomach and puffy face and bloodshot eyes are gone. I have always exercised and tried to eat right even when drinking, but I always knew that no matter how many sit-ups I did, I would never have the flat belly I once had if I continued to drink. Now it is coming back with a vengeance?hee hee!
4-Having more energy! I am a manager at a busy health food store and I am on my feet all day?lifting boxes of products, stocking shelves, helping customers. I find I am more energetic and get more done in the course of my work day. I am also nicer to customers! PS, I did scope out the Kudzu (sp?) on the shelf in the herbal section the other night, but I am not taking it yet, not sure if I well. I do take quite a lot of supplements since I get most of them as free samples. And I do take Milk Thistle, which is a wonderful healing herb for all the damage I have done to my liver. Sadly, I had a blood test a few months ago as part of my annual exam and it turned out that my liver is ?slightly swollen?. So they requested that I be retested after a week and said not to drink or take any Ibuprofen. Well, I have not been back because I couldn?t go a week without drinking! How sad is that? I was also scared to be retested and find out something worse. So, I am pampering my liver with the Milk Thistle and other liver detox herbs, as well as eating Milk Thistle seed (I buy it whole and toast it in the oven with some salt, etc., and it is yummy! I read that taking it this way is most beneficial for the liver). If anyone is still reading this novel and wants that recipe, I will be happy to post!
5-Not going to bed with all of my makeup on and having raccoon eyes in the morning! Ladies, you probably know what I?m talking about! After a night of wine sipping, I would be too buzzed and tired to take off my makeup and wash my face before going to bed, which is not good for your skin. Now I do that every night and am able to use the luxurious night creams that I always skipped when I was too lazy from drinking! So not only do I wake up sober but my skin looks great too?lol.
There are many more things to list but these are the ones I am noticing right away. I also think the low carb diet is helping with cravings as I am not as hungry on it and I know that hunger is a trigger for me to crave wine. I have had a few suprising sugar cravings this week since I cut out the wine and from reading your posts, I see I am not the only one. After all, once we have cut out the ?liquid sugar, meaning AL? our body will crave it in other foods?like chocolate! If I do have a sugar craving, I will sweeten some tea with Splenda since I can?t have sugar on low carb. Another thing that has helped is that I have been giving myself little treats each day as a reward for not drinking. These treats are as small as a new bottle of nail polish, a music CD, and one of my best treats so far is that I bought myself a new fragrance the other day, and I am referring to it as my ?Sober Scent!?. It is a happy, fruity scent?very bright and cheerful. And that?s how I?m feeling! You know how scents can revoke certain memories? My theory is that by selecting a new perfume to mark this positive transition in my life will help reinforce the new AF me everytime I apply it. Need to go squirt some on now!
Ok, sorry for the extra long post but I have lots I wanted to share and as part of my sobriety, I am committed to being on this board frequently to learn, share, and heal with you all. As a side note, I am not one for social media (Facebook) or a regular poster on any boards of any sort. I just felt very safe and at home here and so I decided to take the ?plunge?. :thanks:
How did I get to be an alcoholic? My mother is one for starters. She and I would drink a few glasses of wine before dinner back in my late teens when I was home for the summers in between college. When I went back to school out of state, I never drank, it was just at home with my Mom. My mother is still with us, in her early 70?s, and drinks her wine everyday. I have not told her that I am sober yet but I know she has mentioned before that she thought she was a bad influence for me in that regard, so I think she will be happy for me, even though I know she will continue to drink her wine when around me.
Then I got married shortly after graduating from college. I married an alcoholic, who ended up being a mean drunk and mentally and physically abusive. I escaped the marriage with my life (and my dog!), in my late 20?s. I remember reading one of those funny magnets which went something like this: ?Better to Have Loved and Lost Than Have Spent the Rest of Your Life With a Psycho!? This, sadly, was very true in my situation. I did not escape AL at that time though. Instead, I led the party girl single life, and met people and did things that I am not proud of today, but that is all in the past.
Fast forward a few years later to meeting the man of my dreams, my wonderful husband. In fact, we are celebrating our 1st wedding anniversary this coming weekend! This time last year, we were packing our bags to fly off to sunny Jamaica where we had a dreamy destination wedding on the beach! And since we live in the Northeast, escaping to a tropical paradise was quite the treat. I wish we were going today as we are faced with the severe blizzard predicted for coastal Massachusetts. Anyway, it is kind of cozy being inside these sort of days and waking up with a clear head even when it?s snowing out makes it a beautiful morning no matter what. My husband drinks craft beers regularly, good thing I do not like beer as it is in the house?lol. I told him earlier this week that I am giving up AL for a while as I thought I was drinking too much. At first I thought I could limit it to special occasions, like a few times a year, but I am really leaning toward permanently being AF as I am seeing far too many benefits in such a short time. For our wedding anniversary this weekend, I plan to drink flavored seltzer out of a champagne glass so at least it ?feels? like a special drink?lol. I do have a bottle of champagne in the fridge (never really liked Champagne?it is left over from New Year?s), but I?m sure hubby will have a glass or 2 on our anniversary and the rest of the bottle I can use as a hair rinse once it has gone flat (yes, any left over beer or champagne adds body to your locks as a final rinse in the shower?the only good thing I think it does for you!). I think it has to do the sugars in the AL which are good for your hair. Read it in a natural healthy hair book?lol. However, I am not advocated buying booze to have in the house for your shiny locks! It?s just a way I can justify getting rid of that bottle of bubbly?lol.
I was actually NOT planning to give up AL as a New Year?s resolution for 2011 and here is a roundabout way of how I came to being sober for 5 days, and you guys play a major role here?thank you! Everyday (for over a decade, plus a few years) I would wake up, hung over after my night of drinking several glasses of red wine (my poison of choice was a nice, rich Cabernet) telling myself that this had to stop and I would not drink later that day, only to go to work and come home again, reaching for my wine glass and filling it to the brim. And so the cycle continued. I was never a morning drinker and I never drank while at work, BUT on my 2 days off each week, I would find myself reaching for a glass of wine around 2 or 3 in the afternoon, justifying it because it was my day off, or didn?t French women always have a glass of wine with their midday meal?, etc., etc. Well, one glass (as we know) turns into 2 and so on and so forth. So, by 4PM, I was already quite buzzed and the evening hadn?t even begun yet. Other days, I would come home from work around 6PM, anxious for my first glass of wine and ended up drinking several before the night was over. I would skip lunch so I would come home on a really empty stomach so the wine would hit me quicker, how bad is that? Oh, and I switched over to buying boxed wine for 2 reasons?1: For economy?s sake and 2: Because you can?t see how far down the box gets like you can in a regular bottle! Heck, a regular sized bottle of wine was a ?single serving? with my huge wine goblets?lol. Anyway, shame on those wineries that have come out with darn good quality boxed wine over the years! I ended up buying a box of wine (equivalent to 4 bottles) about every other day, just so I wouldn?t run out. That?s a few boxes a week, way too much! Anyway, I wanted to shed a few pounds for the start of the year, (about 10 pounds, since hubby and I want to go back to Jamaica later this winter, and he mentioned something about seeing me in a bikini again?yikes!) so I started a new way of eating, which is low carb. Actually, I am not only doing it just for the ?bikini fear factor?, but because I truly feel better eating this way as a whole, not just for vanity?s sake! For those of you familiar with it, it is the Atkins diet. I have pretty much eaten this way to maintain my weight, through all that high carb wine drinking, but I never fully gave the diet a chance to work its magic because I never could cut out the alcohol, which is a requirement for the first few weeks of the diet, referred to as ?Induction?, where you have to restrict your carbs to about 20 per day. And I was drinking well over that on wine alone?lol! This brings me to how I found MyWayOut.org. Well, I wasn?t looking for an AF support site, I was actually Googling how many carbs in a glass of red wine, so I could fit it into my daily carb count?how sad is that? Then, fortunately for me, I did stumble on this site and I have been visiting every day since. After a rather heavy drinking spell last Friday night and waking up with a severe hangover Sat. am (I work early on Sat. am, so that always stinks!), I decided to GIVE UP THE WINE and follow the low carb diet to a tee. And I am so happy I did. Here are the benefits I am seeing so far:
1-A good night?s rest for once! I can sleep a full 8 hours, even if I get up once in the middle of the night, I fall back to sleep easily. When I was drinking, I was in the pattern of waking up at 2AM and being wide awake until 4 or 5AM and then wake up exhausted.
2-Waking up without a hangover! I still shake my head in the morning to see how bad the wine headache is?well, it?s no longer there!!! I wake up actually humming while I make my morning coffee. This morning I was humming Bob Marley?s ?Every Little Thing is Gonna Be Alright? And how true it is.
3-The bloating my my stomach and puffy face and bloodshot eyes are gone. I have always exercised and tried to eat right even when drinking, but I always knew that no matter how many sit-ups I did, I would never have the flat belly I once had if I continued to drink. Now it is coming back with a vengeance?hee hee!
4-Having more energy! I am a manager at a busy health food store and I am on my feet all day?lifting boxes of products, stocking shelves, helping customers. I find I am more energetic and get more done in the course of my work day. I am also nicer to customers! PS, I did scope out the Kudzu (sp?) on the shelf in the herbal section the other night, but I am not taking it yet, not sure if I well. I do take quite a lot of supplements since I get most of them as free samples. And I do take Milk Thistle, which is a wonderful healing herb for all the damage I have done to my liver. Sadly, I had a blood test a few months ago as part of my annual exam and it turned out that my liver is ?slightly swollen?. So they requested that I be retested after a week and said not to drink or take any Ibuprofen. Well, I have not been back because I couldn?t go a week without drinking! How sad is that? I was also scared to be retested and find out something worse. So, I am pampering my liver with the Milk Thistle and other liver detox herbs, as well as eating Milk Thistle seed (I buy it whole and toast it in the oven with some salt, etc., and it is yummy! I read that taking it this way is most beneficial for the liver). If anyone is still reading this novel and wants that recipe, I will be happy to post!
5-Not going to bed with all of my makeup on and having raccoon eyes in the morning! Ladies, you probably know what I?m talking about! After a night of wine sipping, I would be too buzzed and tired to take off my makeup and wash my face before going to bed, which is not good for your skin. Now I do that every night and am able to use the luxurious night creams that I always skipped when I was too lazy from drinking! So not only do I wake up sober but my skin looks great too?lol.
There are many more things to list but these are the ones I am noticing right away. I also think the low carb diet is helping with cravings as I am not as hungry on it and I know that hunger is a trigger for me to crave wine. I have had a few suprising sugar cravings this week since I cut out the wine and from reading your posts, I see I am not the only one. After all, once we have cut out the ?liquid sugar, meaning AL? our body will crave it in other foods?like chocolate! If I do have a sugar craving, I will sweeten some tea with Splenda since I can?t have sugar on low carb. Another thing that has helped is that I have been giving myself little treats each day as a reward for not drinking. These treats are as small as a new bottle of nail polish, a music CD, and one of my best treats so far is that I bought myself a new fragrance the other day, and I am referring to it as my ?Sober Scent!?. It is a happy, fruity scent?very bright and cheerful. And that?s how I?m feeling! You know how scents can revoke certain memories? My theory is that by selecting a new perfume to mark this positive transition in my life will help reinforce the new AF me everytime I apply it. Need to go squirt some on now!
Ok, sorry for the extra long post but I have lots I wanted to share and as part of my sobriety, I am committed to being on this board frequently to learn, share, and heal with you all. As a side note, I am not one for social media (Facebook) or a regular poster on any boards of any sort. I just felt very safe and at home here and so I decided to take the ?plunge?. :thanks:
wl:
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