My story

[Bill Gorton]

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[Bill Gorton]

My story

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[Kimberley]

My story

Hi Bill,

Thanks so much for sharing your story with us. I too started drinking due to social anxiety only mine didn't make it hard for me to mix with people- it was a disorder that made doing anything else around other people very hard. Anything that might make people look at me - like eating, buying things. It became so bad that I became agoraphobic. Yeah I started drinking daily when I realised it made it much easier for me to function (like actually leaving the house and getting on with life).

Well done for accepting help and turning things around for yourself. I'm sorry to hear about your relationship troubles. What was it that triggered off your period of heavy drinking this time? Was it relationship-related (often it is)? Or something else?

It's great that you are trying to reach out here for help. Most of us understand - we truly do. Is there any way of forging better links with your family and your brother especially? Maybe call him (sober, I'm sure i don't have to say) or write a big long email apologising and explaining about your behaviour over the past few years and ask to start again.

If you did go to see a therapist, counsellor or psychologist, it's not like you're paying for friendship. They provide a professional service designed to help you get well - that's all there is to it. Re AA, there is a reason it is called 'Anonymous', and all AA members utterly respect the need for others to remain so. In fact, one of their mantras is that gossip or breaking that rule leads to relapse, so it is to be avoided at all costs.

It's funny a tube driver was chairing a meeting I was at and he said when he first went that he asked if tube drivers did this sort of thing, given the responsibility they hold with their job and public safety. He was told a lot of tube drivers are in AA and lo and behold at his second meeting, he met a colleague he'd known for about 10 years, who'd been going to AA for 30 years and sober that long as well - and the guy had no clue he was in AA.

Maybe you could rethink your attitude to AA or at least try to find out more about it? I know I have only recently started going and it has really fulfilled that desperate need to reach out physically and emotionally to people that understand. I have never been hugged so much in my life - and I love it! I do really need it to keep me sane and comforted - and hopefully sober every day i walk this earth.

Good luck whatever you decide to do and i hope you can find the answers you're seeking,
K x

[Bill Gorton]

My story

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[Kimberley]

My story

Hi Bill,
Actually i tried EVERYTHING for the Social Anxiety - all the anti-depressants under the sun, counselling, everything. I was eventually 'cured' about 4/5 years ago through an NLP hypnotherapist. I couldn't believe it - after all those years of suffering it took him 90 minutes to take it all away. I walked out of there head held high and almost skipped down the street. Best day of my life, bar none.

I still get tiny touches of the old anxiety from time to time, like if I'm tired or feeling run down, but otherwise I am a normal functioning human being at last. Just gotta finish dealing with the alcohol problem that is still a legacy from the many years I abused it in an effort to self-medicate.

I hope the Baclofen helps - it may well do actually as I believe it does help people to feel much less anxious. Let us know how it goes.
K x

[mauritiusdodo]

My story

Hi there, just wanted to say AA wasn't for me either, what has helped me this time is this forum, the people on here are real people who care about each other and help each other, I know from other forums that REAL friendships can be formed online so please keep posting and I am sure you will find the friendship and caring you need here It is awful to have someone end a relationship with you, I have been there on two occasions and found love again (sorry to be corny LOL) so just know that the pain you are feeling will get less and you will recover from this - sending you lots of AF vibes, you can quit if you really want to, try and be strong I can't be any help with the AF drugs I'm afraid cos I have never tried them but I am taking one of the herbal craving remedies so will let you know if they work !

[Rusty]

My story

:welcome:Bill Gorton!

This is a great place. I read your post and I just wanted to add my two cents about the girl who dumped you. You mentioned that at her insistance, you had to speak to her every day, and did you mean that she wanted you to have no other friends? I know you are terribly lonely right now (I went though a similar situation when I was your age), but that woman obviously was very controlling...and probably desperate for love because if she has two alcoholic parents, I can tell you right now that she probably wasn't getting any love from them. I speak from experience. My 3 aunts were all alcoholics...two of them drank almost until the day they died and they were incapable of showing love...and really being present for my cousins. As sad as you are, you are probably way better off without her.

Good for you for addressing the AL issue. You've tried Naltrexone...give the Baclofen a go. It's wonderful for anxiety and cravings. I have a lot of anxiety myself and it's been a lifesaver. There are a lot of success stories about Baclofen in the Meds Forum. Just click on the word Baclofen and all the threads pop up.

Keep reading and posting,....you will feel better soon!

[Bill Gorton]

My story

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[Litre]

My story

Hi Bill, I took some time away and now I am back, and the time I was on here in the spring and the past week, I have found everyone helpfull. I understand your disappointment in your girl friend, my negative force I lived with was I guess a hypocrite. When we met, he would say grab your glass of wine and lets go. Then we would go to a rocky beach and he would pull out a blanket, a bottle of wine and two glasses and we would drink. The last I heard these are illegal. Unfortunately I got an impaired, not for alochol, but for drugs relating to my medical situation. So I must deal with that. Now my negative force told me to get out and he could never get over that charge. So for months i tried to talk with him, but to no avail, and I began to drink again after 2 months AF. This made things worse for now he said I made my choice. I left in Sept, and continued to drink ,alot. I woke up on Jan 10th and looked at myself and decided I had had enough. I quit. I have been AF free since and counting. If I can do it so can you, there is alot of help here, just reach out.

[Rusty]

My story

Hi Bill,

How are you doing today? I couldn't agree with Kimberley more that you should try and make amends with your brother and reach out to your parents. I also agree that counselors are not paid to be your friend, they are there to give you some well-needed therapy. How I wish I would have seen a therapist when I was grieving the sudden losses of my father, best friend and brother. I jumped into a bottle of scotch instead, I was so heartbroken. If your drinking caused your relationship with your brother to sour, then I would call him or write him a letter and apologize, acknowledging you have a problem with alcohol and you are addressing it. I'm 50, and my problem with AL began when I was 45, and I alienated my closest friends with my drinking because my behavior was erratic and it changed my personality. I wrote them a long letter, apologizing and vowing to change for the better. I am so grateful they were forgiving. Family support is so important....never lose that if you can help it. I have the most wonderful family in the world but when I was drinking they couldn't count on me. Now they can! Mend those relationships....you'll never regret it.

Regarding your girfriend's reaction to her sister's cat passing away....some people are not capable of showing love to anyone or anything, outside of their children. I had this issue with my ex-boyfriend. He showered his children with love but didn't know how to show me love...and he told me I taught him how to love, and I said, "Well, then I was a sh*tty trainer!!!":H I broke up with him. Plus, since your girflriend was 200 miles away....that's so hard to maintain a relationship when you have that kind of distance between you.

I was verbose in my post...but I would see a therapist, try to mend your relationships, and try to meet new people where it doesn't involve alcohol....a gym, etc. Good luck! Keep reading and posting....and don't forget, hang out HERE!

[ATLThrash]

My story

Bill--

If it is important to you to have a relationship-- you will. It may not be with this girl-- but I did not get married until I was in my 30s and I am very happy. Therapy helped me alot in my early 30s and maybe it will help you too. Also just an editorial and ignore if you want-- but since you think you have alcohol issues as did your ex's parents-- maybe a long term relationship might have gotten very hard with her-- the chances of issues with her as an adult child of alcoholics not to mention of you all had children-- the propensity of passing things genetically-- sounds like you are ready to get your house in order and good for you! I have not had social anxiety-- I am pretty outgoing but after I had my son I was housebound and that caused issues which led to drink-- I think the hardest thing is working to undo patterns-- but with a therapist you can do that-- early 30s were great fr me and believe me when I say I wish I could go back-- you have so many years to have exactly the life you want. Don't settle!!!!!!

[Bill Gorton]

My story

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[Rusty]

My story

Hi Bill,

Now I understand why your relationship with your brother is complicated. I think you handled the situation with your gf just great. I know you feel you can't trust anyone right now but that will change. Give yourself time. Good for you that youare addressing your AL issues at such a young age! I am at the airport but I will PM you later. Shout out if you need to! :-)

[bleep]

My story

Hey Bill,

As part of the deal I made with my wife, we agreed that I would see a shrink. It's something I have always maintained is a complete waste of time, but I was surprised to discover that it wasn't the case - it actually proved to be quite helpful. He is turning out to be a friend, but that wasn't the case in the beginning. We now spend our sessions with me advising him about treating his patients with baclofen (he has stopped charging me)! Try it, you may be pleasantly surprised.

Your family situation seems complex, I don't have any advice there!

For what it's worth, I believe you are on the right path, and that success is within your grasp. kttdp!