My story!

[Spinning J]

I'm a 37 year old Mum of two. I had an ok upbringing but my parent's divorced when I was 14. Thats when I started drinking, in the park at discos etc I didn't really have anyone to stop me or I just hid it well. Then at College and University I used to Party a lot. I always drank to excess and also dabbled with drugs. I used to go to gigs, festivals, raves and wild clubbing holidays. Life was fun, I was young thats what we did back then!
Then I met my husband, fell in love and settled down, had a baby and got a very good job. When I'd had the baby we would still go out partying at weekends and struggling with Monday morning blues at work. I worked full time and saw very little of my baby while hubs looked after her and finished his studying. Six years later I gave up my job and moved to another city, had another baby and became a full time Mum! Time to drink on my hands I would binge now and then when my husband was off work. Very bad things have happened to me ( luckily not anyone else!) when I've been drinking. Then two years ago my hubs said he was leaving because of my drinking. He did stay in the end but thats when I realised I had to stop or I would loose everything! I did 6 months AF with no support. Then started modding then going AF etc. Over the past two years I've probably manage 12 full months AF. I have just had a bad binge ( also did last year). Ive got to stop. I cant Moderate. I feel pretty lucky to be alive to be honest. So today is my day one.
Thanks for listening and hope this makes sense. I joined MWO last may and has been a lifeline.
SJ

[Judestir]

My story!

Welcome Spinning, it sounds like you know what you have to do and have done it before. The only difference is that you know now, that it has to be for life. It seems to me that many AB learn from experimenting just like you. You have tried to Mod and it doesn't work for you, so the path is clear. Best of luck to you. Stay strong and laugh at the voices.

Yeahhh on the disco days......I have very fond memories

[damo180]

My story!

Best of Luck SJ.
One day at a time, and hopefully you can beat it this time.
I cant moderate either.
I have found logging in here every day just to read everyones stories and struggles really helps me along with exercise.
Make it your no.1 priority to stay sober and watch the AF days building.
I am now 57 days AF, and as long I dont get complacement,and realise that the cravings are there, but accept that is all they are, and I keep working on this,I, and you might just beat this.

I really hope you do.
I have found Allen Carrs book on giving up very helpful also.

All the very best

Damo

[Spinning J]

My story!

Thanks Judestir and damo. I really hope I can beat it this time. I've read Allen Carrs book last year and I'm going to go and get it off the shelf to read again !

[prancy]

My story!

Spinning, I have tried moderating unsuccessfully for years. It is hard to accept that you can never drink again. But the mornings after those binges are brutal. Especially when you know that your family has seen you stumbling around incoherent. Try again. If you have managed 12 months AF, you are well on your way. Hopefully, this will be your last time on the nightmare merry-go-around.

[spacebebe01]

My story!

Hi Spinning

There seems to be a lot of us who have tried moderating or controlling alcohol, I know I have, and I also know for me it ends up in me going on huge benders and ending up so ill I think I'm dying, and all my family are upset and messed up by my drinking.

I know I cant moderate, so I'm now 18 days AF and feeling ok most of the time. I have been coming on here each day and reading posts and sometimes leaving some of my own, I hae also starting attending 2 SMART groups in my area that are helping me loads, and am re-reading Empowering your Sober Self. I have also started taking suppliments to help me feel better. I reckon anything That can help me stay AF and make my life better has got to be worth a try. I'm sure you can do it, just go for it.

Best Wishes
Trish