Hello,:new:
I have just stumbled across this page and am inspired by the community here. I have recently had a talk with my husband. He says he is over me drinking. I have been living with him over seas for almost 3 years. When I first came over to live with him in another country, I was used to going out nightly drinking, or having wine at home if I didn't go out, just used to the constant of alcohol. I had also come out of a very hard time in my life in which I turned to alcohol to self medicate. I continued this "normal" behavior for the first year here. My husband sat me down and said that my drinking was anything but "normal." So upon seeing that it would cause a negative atmosphere in our relationship, I began to hide my drinking. This has in turn created a bigger problem for us, as it began a steady run of lies about my drinking, and created binge drinking to happen as I would sneak away to down the alcohol. So I was downing an unknown quantity because I was hiding it.
So again we had a talk where he felt very distraught with my actions and choices,, and this is fair. So 15 months ago I started a new job around the same time as this talk, and I made some positive changes. I could go weeks without alcohol, but then I would have some drinks again, and hide it so as not to upset my husband. So even though I could go weeks without I would binge, and several times was scared by the symptoms of withdrawal I was experiencing after. Since Christmas last year again I have toned it down even further. Yet still drinking once or twice a week. I know it puts a wedge between us though. He does not drink at all. I have been focusing on being healthy, shedding kilos, hitting the gym, eating better. We are trying to get pregnant as well. He feels however that he can not tolerate any alcohol on my part, unless under very rare circumstances I am completely honest with him, and have a few in front of him. However he prefers me not to drink at all.
The reason I am writing here and now, is because I was listening to him say he feels like alcohol is more important that he is. I was reading a story on a forum about how a women had fallen out of love with her husband because he was drinking on a regular basis, and he wasn't the same man after alcohol. I was listening to her feelings saying that she wasn't important, she was less important than alcohol. I was hoping that I have not got to this point with my husband. I moved around the world, away from my family and friends to be with him. I have come a long way from how I have been because of him. I want to try and give up the "need/want" for a drink at all for a few years and possibly longer. I want to change my lifestyle and my mind set. I don't want to lose the wonderful man I married due to alcohol.
Any advice is greatly appreciated.
I have gone to a few AA meetings, I was told I should attend another meeting with younger core group. I would like to find my way out elsewhere, perhaps here.
Thank you so much for taking the time out to read this.:thankyou:
I have just stumbled across this page and am inspired by the community here. I have recently had a talk with my husband. He says he is over me drinking. I have been living with him over seas for almost 3 years. When I first came over to live with him in another country, I was used to going out nightly drinking, or having wine at home if I didn't go out, just used to the constant of alcohol. I had also come out of a very hard time in my life in which I turned to alcohol to self medicate. I continued this "normal" behavior for the first year here. My husband sat me down and said that my drinking was anything but "normal." So upon seeing that it would cause a negative atmosphere in our relationship, I began to hide my drinking. This has in turn created a bigger problem for us, as it began a steady run of lies about my drinking, and created binge drinking to happen as I would sneak away to down the alcohol. So I was downing an unknown quantity because I was hiding it.
So again we had a talk where he felt very distraught with my actions and choices,, and this is fair. So 15 months ago I started a new job around the same time as this talk, and I made some positive changes. I could go weeks without alcohol, but then I would have some drinks again, and hide it so as not to upset my husband. So even though I could go weeks without I would binge, and several times was scared by the symptoms of withdrawal I was experiencing after. Since Christmas last year again I have toned it down even further. Yet still drinking once or twice a week. I know it puts a wedge between us though. He does not drink at all. I have been focusing on being healthy, shedding kilos, hitting the gym, eating better. We are trying to get pregnant as well. He feels however that he can not tolerate any alcohol on my part, unless under very rare circumstances I am completely honest with him, and have a few in front of him. However he prefers me not to drink at all.
The reason I am writing here and now, is because I was listening to him say he feels like alcohol is more important that he is. I was reading a story on a forum about how a women had fallen out of love with her husband because he was drinking on a regular basis, and he wasn't the same man after alcohol. I was listening to her feelings saying that she wasn't important, she was less important than alcohol. I was hoping that I have not got to this point with my husband. I moved around the world, away from my family and friends to be with him. I have come a long way from how I have been because of him. I want to try and give up the "need/want" for a drink at all for a few years and possibly longer. I want to change my lifestyle and my mind set. I don't want to lose the wonderful man I married due to alcohol.
Any advice is greatly appreciated.
I have gone to a few AA meetings, I was told I should attend another meeting with younger core group. I would like to find my way out elsewhere, perhaps here.
Thank you so much for taking the time out to read this.:thankyou:
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