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    #1

    Sad to be back

    Hi,
    I've calculated that it is about 5 years since I was last here. A lot has happened in my life since then. I separated, moved into a new house, got divorced, met a wonderful lady, bought a new house, moved in with her and her kids, now I'm back here. I want, more than anything, to make this work, but I'm afraid I will screw it up if I continue on this present course. I thought I had everything under control, but I need to get the evil monkey of my back (again).
    I feel shame, guilt, afraid, a whole gamut of feelings, none of them good.
    When out with friends, I find I can never say no when asked if I'd like one more beer. I'm on the way out the door, telling everyone that I'm leaving, then just one more ....
    I'm not saying that I get totally wasted, but it is probably the one that will get me a drinking and driving charge. I know it now, but at that moment, there is something missing that says no, sorry, gotta go. The only sure way for me is abstinance, the control thing just does not work for me. I know it sounds like an excuse but there is no other way to easily describe it.
    Hoping to talk to some of you soon via the keyboard ...
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    #2
    Sad to be back

    Hi Eugan,:welcome:

    You have taken the first step....admitting you have a problem and want to stop. You might want to post this on the Need Help ASAP Forum and you will get lots of good responses there, or in the Just Starting Out Thread. Also, click on the Monthly Abstinence Forum and click on the Toolbox. You'll get lots of good ideas there.

    Regarding your friends...are there other people you can hang out with who won't be encouraging you to drink? If your friends are pressuring you, why can't you tell them, "look, I don't want to drink tonight so don't push me."What about your partner? Does she support you in your efforts to be AF (alcohol-free?) Having support from those closest to you I think is a key factor in getting sober and staying that way.

    Keep posting and keep reading. Lots of good info here.

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      #3
      Sad to be back

      Hello Eugan,

      I'm back too after 6 years AF. Don't know why I started again but hey we're human. I'm not at the point I was when I first joined here way back then, and what I'm focusing on is how good my life got once I stopped drinking. Even while walking to work this morning I thought about where my life was going to go if I did continue to try to moderate my drinking and entertain that monkey on my back. I'm not a 'normie' when it comes to knowing when to quit once I start. I always tell myself I'll just have one or two and that always turns into one or two bottles of wine!!!! YUK. It is a shame I can't be a 'normie' like most everyone I know but that isn't all that makes me who I am. Focus on what is good about not being a 'normie' and what is good about your life without alcohol. Easily said - I KNOW!!! But, we all make choices and sometimes ones that we absolutely know are NOT good for us.

      WELCOME BACK and keep checking in here. Even if you don't post (I don't very often) just keep an eye on what is happening here. It keeps me honest and strong!

      Big hugs, Nicelife.
      It is not what we do, but how much love we put into the doing.
      Mother Theresa

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        #4
        Sad to be back

        Hi Eugan & nicelife!

        Glad you decided to come back to MWO - you know this is a good place!
        I have absolutely refused to entertain the thought of moderate drinking, it's just not possible for me anymore. I have gained so much since quitting & won't risk losing it all.

        You both can do it too. I found posting frequently to be helpful in keeping my focus on my commitment. Think about doing that too

        Wishing you the best!

        Lav
        AF since 03/26/09
        NF since 05/19/09
        Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

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          #5
          Sad to be back

          Thanks, I knew it would be good to come back.
          I too struggle with the "I'll only have one or two" ... then 4 hours later ....
          I think my switch that turns back on to say stop you've had enough is broken or missing. The only alternative is abstinence, or the road to destruction.
          Thanks again everyone, It is good to be back.

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            #6
            Sad to be back

            Hi Eugan,

            My switch broke a long time ago, it never ever says stop, one is not enough but then again neither is 10 :H
            Welcome back and lets try and make it work this time around ok lol.

            luv Flo
            Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep. If I die before I wake, I pray the Lord my soul to take.

            Comment

              #7
              Sad to be back

              Hi E,

              Glad to have you back here! Cheering you on!

              Ive learned from experience that the greater part of our happiness or misery depends on our dispositions and not on our circumstances. -Martha Washington

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