Hi all,
My name is Ken and I think I am an alcoholic, well I certainly have a problem with alcohol.
(Damo is my favourite singer, Damien Dempsey, the 180 is after my favourite pastime, darts, typical,a pub game )
I really cant believe I am almost 6 months sober, not a drop since 3 Jan 2011.
It is by far the biggest decision I have ever made in my life.
I found this site in 2008 (have just realised I started posting as DAMO back then )
On the outside, you would not think I have a problem.
I didnt lose anything as such. I still had my home, my wife and boys who I love so much.
But I wasnt happy. I was starting to drink a lot heavier and quite a bit secretly.
If alcoholism is genetic I am/was fucked. My family is riddled with al addiction.
I started drinking (and smoking )when I was 15.
I left school with little education, was lucky to get a job.
Every weekend myself and friends would drink cider. This went on unti I was 18 when we started drinking in the local on average of 4 nights a week, Fri, Sat, Sun and tuesday.
Typically I gave up playing football and took up darts !
Gradually the weekends started earlier and thursdays became the norm to have a few pints.
This drinking pattern went on for the next 20 years. I dont think I went for more than 2 or 3 days AF in all this time.
My darts night changed to Monday, so I was drinking Thursday to Monday every week.
By Tuesday I would be very down and was just living for thursday to come.
In the last few years I would find an excuse to slip a Wednesday in for a few beers, whether it be a big match on tv or stressful in work.
Then I started to drink a bit in secret. The lies started , and became more frequent.
I always had to had to have a few sneaky drinks.
I started to try moderate and then abstain, from early 2008, but could never last too long.
Roll on October 2010. I decided I was going to give it my all in Jan2011.
I started my plan. First thing was to quit my darts team, I have been playing darts every week for the last 20 years. I made an excuse and just quit in October.
I got pressurised to come back from my friends so pretended I hurt my back so I couldnt play. I continued to drink heavily for the rest of the year.
Jan2011.
This was it, One day at a time. I told my wife I was giving up just for january, but knew I wanted to give up completely. If I didnt do it this time, I would go down the AA route.
So I came back here, asked for support, which is exactly what I got from everyone here.
I dont tell anyone about here. This is for me, and this works for me.
I will continue one day at a time, but I am very hopeful now that I can stay AF, as long as I dont get complacent and keep working on this.
I recently returned to playing darts. I genuinely love the game, but I dont stay too late after a few games with my friends.
I am so much happier now, I am proud of myself, because it has been very difficult at times. The temptations were very strong, but not so much now.
I am healthier, fitter(I run 5 days a week ) , stronger and a better Dad and husband.
I will always be grateful to MWO and everyone here. You all have helped me so much.
6 MONTHS SOBER, I didnt think I could do it.
Thank You.
Ken
xxx
My name is Ken and I think I am an alcoholic, well I certainly have a problem with alcohol.
(Damo is my favourite singer, Damien Dempsey, the 180 is after my favourite pastime, darts, typical,a pub game )
I really cant believe I am almost 6 months sober, not a drop since 3 Jan 2011.
It is by far the biggest decision I have ever made in my life.
I found this site in 2008 (have just realised I started posting as DAMO back then )
On the outside, you would not think I have a problem.
I didnt lose anything as such. I still had my home, my wife and boys who I love so much.
But I wasnt happy. I was starting to drink a lot heavier and quite a bit secretly.
If alcoholism is genetic I am/was fucked. My family is riddled with al addiction.
I started drinking (and smoking )when I was 15.
I left school with little education, was lucky to get a job.
Every weekend myself and friends would drink cider. This went on unti I was 18 when we started drinking in the local on average of 4 nights a week, Fri, Sat, Sun and tuesday.
Typically I gave up playing football and took up darts !
Gradually the weekends started earlier and thursdays became the norm to have a few pints.
This drinking pattern went on for the next 20 years. I dont think I went for more than 2 or 3 days AF in all this time.
My darts night changed to Monday, so I was drinking Thursday to Monday every week.
By Tuesday I would be very down and was just living for thursday to come.
In the last few years I would find an excuse to slip a Wednesday in for a few beers, whether it be a big match on tv or stressful in work.
Then I started to drink a bit in secret. The lies started , and became more frequent.
I always had to had to have a few sneaky drinks.
I started to try moderate and then abstain, from early 2008, but could never last too long.
Roll on October 2010. I decided I was going to give it my all in Jan2011.
I started my plan. First thing was to quit my darts team, I have been playing darts every week for the last 20 years. I made an excuse and just quit in October.
I got pressurised to come back from my friends so pretended I hurt my back so I couldnt play. I continued to drink heavily for the rest of the year.
Jan2011.
This was it, One day at a time. I told my wife I was giving up just for january, but knew I wanted to give up completely. If I didnt do it this time, I would go down the AA route.
So I came back here, asked for support, which is exactly what I got from everyone here.
I dont tell anyone about here. This is for me, and this works for me.
I will continue one day at a time, but I am very hopeful now that I can stay AF, as long as I dont get complacent and keep working on this.
I recently returned to playing darts. I genuinely love the game, but I dont stay too late after a few games with my friends.
I am so much happier now, I am proud of myself, because it has been very difficult at times. The temptations were very strong, but not so much now.
I am healthier, fitter(I run 5 days a week ) , stronger and a better Dad and husband.
I will always be grateful to MWO and everyone here. You all have helped me so much.
6 MONTHS SOBER, I didnt think I could do it.
Thank You.
Ken
xxx
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