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Another day, A New Beginning

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    Another day, A New Beginning

    It has been quite some time since I posted on here, and I ended up going back to the booze after a week being sober. Over the past 7-8 weeks, things began become worse and worse. I began drinking more than ever, which turned out to be 3-4 nights a week, with at least 3 of those nights with a total drinks of 10+.

    The problem with me is, I am slightly mad at the best of times but with alcohol, I capable of pretty much doing anything crazy, but not in a bad way that would get me into trouble, but in a way that would end up in complete embarrassment for me. Strangly some people tell me "You are 22, you are suppose to go out, go mad and enjoy yourself!" I can't help but think that this is not correct, and that is just simply is not me. I use to be a very self respecting individual and cared about myself a lot more compared to what I do now. If I was to have 2-3 drinks, I would simply just say, I don't care, lets go mad, and end up getting completely and utterly, ratfaced.

    It was the other night, that I got home after another stupid and embarrassing night out, that I sat outside my house, and simply just thought to myself, what am I doing? What has happened to me? Why can't I just have 1 or 2 drinks and go home as I planed when going into the pub like I use to? Why must I say, I'll just have one more, then say it again, then again and then before I know it, it was 9pm and then it's 3am and I'm falling out of a club, and into a chipper, and then into a taxi home (Thankfully the taxis know where I live).

    Since I became unemployed back in September 2010, I have been attempting to get my own business up and running, but it has never happened simply because of my drinking habits and every time I make some sort of money, it's gone on a Thursday and Saturday night booze bash. On Friday morning I woke up, rolling in my bed with a hangover, regret and complete embarrassment, and I came to the conclusion that it has to stop, and this time for good.

    I spoke to a friend about it yesterday and she has given me her full support and said that she will visit when she can during the week and weekends, to ensure that I don't go near the bottle and cans, which is a great help to me and I am once again taking this opportunity to get my own company finally set up and make a living for myself. It is now day 3 alcohol free, and I am feeling the best I have in a very long time and most of all, more confidence that I can beat this, than ever before!

    #2
    Another day, A New Beginning

    Well done Shephard! I know how difficult is this entire journey - I recently returned from relapse as well.
    We can do this a day at a time!

    Hugs to Ireland ... and engage in healthy thoughts and activity. It reads as though you have a great close friend who will stand by you.
    Courage is fear that has said its prayers. - Karl Barth
    :wings: :huggy

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      #3
      Another day, A New Beginning

      Welcome back Shephard, I am glad that you have enough wisdom to see that something is going terribly wrong. It concerns me that so many very young people are falling into the alcohol trap. Let's call a spade a spade - become full blown alcoholics at such an early age. It took me 30+ years before I lost all control. In a way it is better to realize that you cannot have even one drink because your life is ahead of you while I wasted many years in denial.

      There is a lot of hope for you - with support and professional help you can beat alcohol .

      Good luck.
      make the least of the worst, and the most of the best - everyday.

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        #4
        Another day, A New Beginning

        Shephard, like you I am trying again to get my act together. I think a lot of us are here because while we don't reach for the bottle every morning, when we do reach for it we can't stop. I wish you every success and stay strong.

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          #5
          Another day, A New Beginning

          Thank you all for your kind words. I am not on day 5, and have no cravings or even a thoughts of wanting to drink. I was in the shopping centre today getting some groceries and passed through the alcohol section without even a glimpse or thought of buying some, which is the first time I have managed to do this in over 3 years making it alone a fair accomplishment. I know that I can do this and I wish you all the best of luck on your journeys also.

          4 days down, many many many more to go

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            #6
            Another day, A New Beginning

            I read your post, and Juleys as well, and I think you are gonna make it happen! Its incredibly worth it. I wish I had done what you are doing when I was your age, good god! It took me several years to get it through my head, and finally just quit 6 months ago. Not drinking again was the best thing I ever did for myself.
            Kaslo

            Stopped the madness: February 14, 2011
            Status: Happy:h

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