It has been quite some time since I posted on here, and I ended up going back to the booze after a week being sober. Over the past 7-8 weeks, things began become worse and worse. I began drinking more than ever, which turned out to be 3-4 nights a week, with at least 3 of those nights with a total drinks of 10+.
The problem with me is, I am slightly mad at the best of times but with alcohol, I capable of pretty much doing anything crazy, but not in a bad way that would get me into trouble, but in a way that would end up in complete embarrassment for me. Strangly some people tell me "You are 22, you are suppose to go out, go mad and enjoy yourself!" I can't help but think that this is not correct, and that is just simply is not me. I use to be a very self respecting individual and cared about myself a lot more compared to what I do now. If I was to have 2-3 drinks, I would simply just say, I don't care, lets go mad, and end up getting completely and utterly, ratfaced.
It was the other night, that I got home after another stupid and embarrassing night out, that I sat outside my house, and simply just thought to myself, what am I doing? What has happened to me? Why can't I just have 1 or 2 drinks and go home as I planed when going into the pub like I use to? Why must I say, I'll just have one more, then say it again, then again and then before I know it, it was 9pm and then it's 3am and I'm falling out of a club, and into a chipper, and then into a taxi home (Thankfully the taxis know where I live).
Since I became unemployed back in September 2010, I have been attempting to get my own business up and running, but it has never happened simply because of my drinking habits and every time I make some sort of money, it's gone on a Thursday and Saturday night booze bash. On Friday morning I woke up, rolling in my bed with a hangover, regret and complete embarrassment, and I came to the conclusion that it has to stop, and this time for good.
I spoke to a friend about it yesterday and she has given me her full support and said that she will visit when she can during the week and weekends, to ensure that I don't go near the bottle and cans, which is a great help to me and I am once again taking this opportunity to get my own company finally set up and make a living for myself. It is now day 3 alcohol free, and I am feeling the best I have in a very long time and most of all, more confidence that I can beat this, than ever before!
The problem with me is, I am slightly mad at the best of times but with alcohol, I capable of pretty much doing anything crazy, but not in a bad way that would get me into trouble, but in a way that would end up in complete embarrassment for me. Strangly some people tell me "You are 22, you are suppose to go out, go mad and enjoy yourself!" I can't help but think that this is not correct, and that is just simply is not me. I use to be a very self respecting individual and cared about myself a lot more compared to what I do now. If I was to have 2-3 drinks, I would simply just say, I don't care, lets go mad, and end up getting completely and utterly, ratfaced.
It was the other night, that I got home after another stupid and embarrassing night out, that I sat outside my house, and simply just thought to myself, what am I doing? What has happened to me? Why can't I just have 1 or 2 drinks and go home as I planed when going into the pub like I use to? Why must I say, I'll just have one more, then say it again, then again and then before I know it, it was 9pm and then it's 3am and I'm falling out of a club, and into a chipper, and then into a taxi home (Thankfully the taxis know where I live).
Since I became unemployed back in September 2010, I have been attempting to get my own business up and running, but it has never happened simply because of my drinking habits and every time I make some sort of money, it's gone on a Thursday and Saturday night booze bash. On Friday morning I woke up, rolling in my bed with a hangover, regret and complete embarrassment, and I came to the conclusion that it has to stop, and this time for good.
I spoke to a friend about it yesterday and she has given me her full support and said that she will visit when she can during the week and weekends, to ensure that I don't go near the bottle and cans, which is a great help to me and I am once again taking this opportunity to get my own company finally set up and make a living for myself. It is now day 3 alcohol free, and I am feeling the best I have in a very long time and most of all, more confidence that I can beat this, than ever before!
Comment