I need help!

[Java]

I have been drinking for over three years straight with only maybe a week or so of not drinking in that time, and I feel horrible. I am physically fit, yet I am poisoning myself. I have a new boyfriend, a wonderful one. The reason I decided to get help is b/c over the last couple of years i have made excuses to get away to go home and drink, last week he came over and we don't usually spend the night with each other ( which helps me drink)and he said he would stay as long as i wanted, I used the excuse that he snores and wouldn't sleep good at my place so he would leave...and so I could drink to ensure I could just pass out and not have to deal with everything in my head keeping me awake, unfortunately what started as me trying to get to sleep has turned into a daily habit. I don't want this for myself and I hav tried to stop. I wake up each morning feeling like crap and I tell myself that i will stop today, then by the afternoon I convince myself i will be missing out on something if I don't drink and I stop at the store to repeat this process. I have ordered the supplements, I am not yet willing to talk to my doctor about this, so any support and advice would be appreciated. I called him and told him he could stay over tommorow night, which means I won't be able to drink to go to sleep. I figure if I could learn to enjoy someone here then maybe it will give me motivation. Thanks guys for listening.

[Popeye]

I need help!

Hi Newgrl,
Well done for your honest post.
Since changing my drinking habits recently, my sleeping pattern has changed significantly. I have always been a good sleeper and could nod off at will. Lately however, I have been getting up earlier and earlier;3.30 a.m. on occasion, but always before 5 a.m.. I'm not too concerned at the moment as I feel that I'm getting enough sleep - just. I am going to make an appointment to see my doc before I start work again on 8th January. I'm not sure what to say to her about the drugs - topamax etc. - but I shall let her know about all the supps and my change of habits and sleeping pattern. I don't want to go down the route of sleeping tablets but there are some natural sleeping aids that I would consider using. I don't want to be giving up alcohol only to replace it with another dependancy.
It really is one day at a time for me just now. I have to keep a constant watch on my thoughts as I have almost talked myself into having a drink on several occasions, but I have resisted most of the time. This site is a good place for me to come when I feel weak. Reading through the posts always strengthens my resolve - at least temporarily. My motivation is simply a desire not to be the person that drink makes me. That person is selfish, deceitful and often just plain nasty. I want to enjoy my life for what it is, not the false, drink induced fuzz that it used to be. There are many moments of tedium in most modern-day life and I have to take the good and the bad. Already for me the benefits far outweigh any downside that I sometimes imagine. What I'm trying to say is that if you really want this, you've got to work at it and if you fail one day start again the next day. To listen to me you'd think I'd been on the wagon for years and had it all under control. Not yet....but I'm not giving up giving up.
Good Luck to you in your efforts.
Love

[Lou]

I need help!

Hello newgrl

I just wanted to say that i understand where youre coming from...i have purposley distanced myself from people over the last 12 months so that i can stay in and drink. I have messed up 3 chances of new relationships with lovely guys cause i wanted to drink instead...if youve read my posts you'll know im in a mess at the moment so im in no place to give advice, i just wanted to wish you luck and let you know that i understand

Loves

Lou-Lou x

[Newstart]

I need help!

Hello newgrl,

Welcome to this site

Maybe u could get something to help u sleep other than the drink, if over the counter sleep aids dont help maybe u could ask a doctor for something. I know that helpmed me cut down when I couldnt sleep.
Lots of good folks on this site for support so check in often
newstart:welcome:

[Seto]

I need help!

Hello Newgrl
I'm new also. Its early days for us both and I just wanted to show you my support. I find it very difficult to get to sleep when I don't drink. Last night for example I was up reading until 1 am, getting very agigtated indeed, even thought about opening a bottle of wine to help me. Instead I tried some Nytol as a before resort and luckily for me it worked. Now, this morning I feel very proud that I opted for the Nytol. Can I just say also that the reason I actually argued with myself and took the Nytol was because of reading everyones support and stories, it gave me so much encouragement and I felt (for the first time in ages) I could at least try something else instead of resorting to wine. In the past I have also tried Camomile tea, it very calming and its healthy!!! If none of this works then maybe you should try your doctors, they could give you something temporarily until you get the habit of sleeping without drinking (I had sleeping tablets from my doctors last year when I was going through depression and they really did help me at the time, my doctor would only prescribe them for 1 week but it was enough for me to get used to drifting off to sleep). I once read somewhere it takes 15 days for your body to get in the habit for something. So its worth a try. Also have you tried talking to your boyfriend?
Now I am babbling too much, good luck and I will be thinking of you

[Java]

I need help!

Thank you all for your posts. I have been prescribed lunesta by my doctor a couple of months ago. I do take it on those few occasions when I do not drink ( say when I stay at someones house or visit my family) it is really hit or miss though. I am going to use it now though...maybe I can get in that sleeping habit, that would be nice. I have talked to him about it, but not in depth, mainly because I am embarrassed about it. I told him I had a drinking problem in an email (easiest way for me) then when he asked about it I got upset and could not discuss it in person. I didn't really want to face it and have to admit in person my weakness (he thinks I am a really strong person) But I read some people saying use New Years as your excuse, so I think I am going to tell everyone that for 2007 my healthy resolution is to not drink any alcohol to lose those excess calories. I definitely think I could face that excuse a lot easier than telling people I have a problem.

[betty boop]

I need help!

Hi & :welcome:

I too used to drink to sleep, but I even got so bad that if I woke up at 3am I would drink even more. After a few days without drinking you will sleep better, and will also feel so much better.

This site is excellent ..... the people here are soooo helpful and supportive.

All the best, Paula xx

[Java]

I need help!

Thanks Paula, I haven't really quit yet, i am shooting for new years day as day one of my AF life. I am scared, I haven't gotten my supplements yet but I am going to do it anyways.

[SK8RGRL]

I need help!

hi i am new here but already feel there is hope for me. i have drunk a bottle of red wine a night 4 as long as i remember and sometimes more if its available.i feel such a failure. i av put weight on an am loosin my looks. I av a boyfriend of 10 yrs and 2 great kids but its never enough.i tried live chat tonight.what a laugh. too fast for my wee fingers! i hope i can make some progress here

[SK8RGRL]

I need help!

no one replied to me. so sad

[lucky 2.0]

I need help!

Hi MA,

Welcome. It takes a while for people to reply -

I just sent you a Private Message.

All the best in 2007!

lucky

[Java]

I need help!

Maxineann1, whats going on! How are you. I am sitting here alone on new years eve (boyfriend is with his son) tommorow will be day one for me, good luck to you !

[Guest]

I need help!

hi maxineann1 - i am replying to you girl! i am new too and only found this site yesterday. i have drunk 1/2 botl, then a botl, then heydo ho out goes that second cork and i have been up to about 1 1/2 botls a night for at least 6 years. i understand exactly where you at - i have put on 21 kgs (yes you read that right) and basically have been struggling for far too long. i've always had a love affair with alcohol but when i separated from my husband suddenly i could drink every night alone.....i have a beautiful daughter and i understand the feeling that nothing is never enough. you could shove diamonds up my butt and they would still be the wrong size
anyway, raving now but just wanted to reach out and touch you - no more sadface.
i got swept way in the chatroom too - can you believe how quick the neurones bounce around in there ??
MM
x

[Seto]

I need help!

Hi maxineann1 - HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!
I'n new also! Please don't be put off by no one replying. As you will probably notice we come from all different parts of the world and of course time differences vary. Your problem sounds very similar to mine, I have 1 beautiful daughter and for the past 1 1/2 years have been drinking at least a bottle of wine a night. I too have put on lots of weight and feel I am losing my looks. I've been married for nearly 10 years also. Hang in there, keep posting and read all the posts. Everyone on this board are so caring and really understand what you are going through. Try not to be too hard on yourself, we all make mistakes - I know!! Keep in touch!!!!

[stoatqueen]

I need help!

Hello especially to maxineann1 xx i've been awake much later than usual too, but it's better than passing out at 9pm me thinks xx