How far back do we go, hard to say, I grew up with a very loving Mother and an abusive alcoholic father. There were 5 of us children all together. We thought we grew up normal.
We all drink, my one brother had an alcoholic seasure. I thought I was a normal drinker, my sister drinks alot, her children drink alot. My other two brothers drink moderately. My children drink, but not alot.
Five years ago I came across a man I knew years before, he wooed me off my feet and talked me into getting rid of all my possessions when we moved together. Within a month of moving in he would tell me if you do not like it get out. He would later say he was sorry.
This went of for another 3 years, and he was constantly on me about drinking, at the time I did not drink that much. Mind you when we started dating, he would tell me to bring my glass of wine with us in the car for a drive, or he would grab a bottle of wine and go some where on the beach where we were hidden with rocks. I knew it was illegal.
Three years I got very ill, I now have a lung disease, and he moved out of my bed to never return. After I got better, I did start drinking more, for I hid it from him. Then I needed to go for a lung biopsy, during which I woke up. The doctor had to give me 5 times the meds needed to keep me alseep and from coughing. My lung was punctured, and I was on massive doses of pain killers and antibiotics.
To make a long story short, I had to go see my doctor about my lung, for it was not right. Little did I know how long the drugs would stay in our system. I had stopped my antibotics the night before. So I had a couple of glasses of wine with my lunch, and a few hours later I left to see my doctor, which was at 4pm. He never noticed anything wrong with me, and there was not reason for him to have. He set up exrays for me for the next day.
I stopped to see my sister, and while I waited, I began to feel very strange, but did not want to disappoint her, so I did not tell her how I was feeling. I really wanted to go home.
I followed her to her house, by this time it was 5:30. We had a glass of wine, and I left around 6:30. I knew I should not be driving, I thought of asking her if I could stay, but I wanted to get home.
The next thing I know someone is reaching into my car and taking my car keys, the car was shut off. I had shut the car off. The police came, and you can figure out the rest. I blew 220. That should have killed me. It was impossible for the amount I drank that day, so I decided to fight the charges.
I read up that if you are on an inhaler it will throw a breathalizer threw the roof, but the lawyer would not let me use it, because I read it on the internet. He spoke to my specialist and asked questions, but not the right ones. The lawyer felt there was not reason to call my Specialist. So I lost my fight and my license.
This scared me so much I put myself into a detox center. I never went through all the withdrawals that I heard would happen. After a week I went home. My daughter came to get me, not the man I was living with.
I came home to all the bottles gone or hidden, except one bottle of red wine, it was a partial bottle. I kept looking at it for a few days, then I decided to dump it. When I did that, I realized he had replaced it with water to be mean.
Day after day, hour after hour he would badger me about my drinking, I had stopped. After 3 months he was still badgering me, refused to come with me to any addiction appointment I had. He kept telling me to get out, and still did not sleep with me, nor was he home at nights. I started to drink a little, but I had it, his abuse was getting too much for me.
Six months after I lost my license I moved out, it was hard for I had nothing of my own. This was when I really started to drink. After a month on my own, I quit again, this time for only 1 month, I thought to myself, what does it matter.
At that time I tried to OD. I was told I call the man I had just left and he called my sister. I remember waking to the sound of my phone, but everything around me was a purple colour, we talked for over an hour. She never knew what had happened, I think she saved my life.
I began to drink more and more. My hours at work were cut, not because of my drinking, but because of losing my license, I believe. I did miss some time because of my drinking, but not alot. Eventually I decided I could not do that and stopped missing time. I had not missed anytime for over 6 months. A month ago I was dismissed for a mistake I made. They were just waiting. I worked retail, and everyone makes mistakes ,and they do not lose their jobs, they get moved to other positions.
So now I am drinking from 3:30 a.m. because I cannot sleep, and that glass would stay in my hand till I went to bed anywhere between 8 or 9pm, it would also come to bed and wait on the dresser till I woke at 3:30. Finally I decided I cannot do this, I found this site again, and was told to pick a day to start Af. That day was Tues Nov 29, 2011. As I write this I have been AF for 3 days, it is so much harder this time than when I sent myself to detox, I think each time you quit and start it is harder and harder to stop. I am determined not to live like that, and I will beat this terrible thing:applaud:
I stopped at
We all drink, my one brother had an alcoholic seasure. I thought I was a normal drinker, my sister drinks alot, her children drink alot. My other two brothers drink moderately. My children drink, but not alot.
Five years ago I came across a man I knew years before, he wooed me off my feet and talked me into getting rid of all my possessions when we moved together. Within a month of moving in he would tell me if you do not like it get out. He would later say he was sorry.
This went of for another 3 years, and he was constantly on me about drinking, at the time I did not drink that much. Mind you when we started dating, he would tell me to bring my glass of wine with us in the car for a drive, or he would grab a bottle of wine and go some where on the beach where we were hidden with rocks. I knew it was illegal.
Three years I got very ill, I now have a lung disease, and he moved out of my bed to never return. After I got better, I did start drinking more, for I hid it from him. Then I needed to go for a lung biopsy, during which I woke up. The doctor had to give me 5 times the meds needed to keep me alseep and from coughing. My lung was punctured, and I was on massive doses of pain killers and antibiotics.
To make a long story short, I had to go see my doctor about my lung, for it was not right. Little did I know how long the drugs would stay in our system. I had stopped my antibotics the night before. So I had a couple of glasses of wine with my lunch, and a few hours later I left to see my doctor, which was at 4pm. He never noticed anything wrong with me, and there was not reason for him to have. He set up exrays for me for the next day.
I stopped to see my sister, and while I waited, I began to feel very strange, but did not want to disappoint her, so I did not tell her how I was feeling. I really wanted to go home.
I followed her to her house, by this time it was 5:30. We had a glass of wine, and I left around 6:30. I knew I should not be driving, I thought of asking her if I could stay, but I wanted to get home.
The next thing I know someone is reaching into my car and taking my car keys, the car was shut off. I had shut the car off. The police came, and you can figure out the rest. I blew 220. That should have killed me. It was impossible for the amount I drank that day, so I decided to fight the charges.
I read up that if you are on an inhaler it will throw a breathalizer threw the roof, but the lawyer would not let me use it, because I read it on the internet. He spoke to my specialist and asked questions, but not the right ones. The lawyer felt there was not reason to call my Specialist. So I lost my fight and my license.
This scared me so much I put myself into a detox center. I never went through all the withdrawals that I heard would happen. After a week I went home. My daughter came to get me, not the man I was living with.
I came home to all the bottles gone or hidden, except one bottle of red wine, it was a partial bottle. I kept looking at it for a few days, then I decided to dump it. When I did that, I realized he had replaced it with water to be mean.
Day after day, hour after hour he would badger me about my drinking, I had stopped. After 3 months he was still badgering me, refused to come with me to any addiction appointment I had. He kept telling me to get out, and still did not sleep with me, nor was he home at nights. I started to drink a little, but I had it, his abuse was getting too much for me.
Six months after I lost my license I moved out, it was hard for I had nothing of my own. This was when I really started to drink. After a month on my own, I quit again, this time for only 1 month, I thought to myself, what does it matter.
At that time I tried to OD. I was told I call the man I had just left and he called my sister. I remember waking to the sound of my phone, but everything around me was a purple colour, we talked for over an hour. She never knew what had happened, I think she saved my life.
I began to drink more and more. My hours at work were cut, not because of my drinking, but because of losing my license, I believe. I did miss some time because of my drinking, but not alot. Eventually I decided I could not do that and stopped missing time. I had not missed anytime for over 6 months. A month ago I was dismissed for a mistake I made. They were just waiting. I worked retail, and everyone makes mistakes ,and they do not lose their jobs, they get moved to other positions.
So now I am drinking from 3:30 a.m. because I cannot sleep, and that glass would stay in my hand till I went to bed anywhere between 8 or 9pm, it would also come to bed and wait on the dresser till I woke at 3:30. Finally I decided I cannot do this, I found this site again, and was told to pick a day to start Af. That day was Tues Nov 29, 2011. As I write this I have been AF for 3 days, it is so much harder this time than when I sent myself to detox, I think each time you quit and start it is harder and harder to stop. I am determined not to live like that, and I will beat this terrible thing:applaud:
I stopped at
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