I really do know better..

[I Like Brandy]

It's been a long time...Over the last few years things got better...
I finished my Associates Degree, plans to enroll in Bachelor's Degree program this year for Nursing,son graduated high school, now attending college..
BUT.....
I still DRINK....to date I have had THREE MAJOR incidents..In April when I took my son for his interview for college out of state the night before got drunk and cussed out son and hubby....Week after thanksgiving and New Years Day got into a vicious verbal argument with my son and treated him badly! That was the worst!! Monday morn had to get up at 4 am to drive my son to the airport...one of the last things he said before entering the gate was "mom I love you, but the way you treated me when you were drunk I don't like, you let the alcohol change you, you act like you're not my mom"

All three times, I blacked out..each time was months apart...I really fooled myself...only to once again admit I am still an alcoholic, being in the medical field I know better..I have a disease that controls me every time liquor is in my system..

I needed to admit this and take responsibility alcohol will always be stronger than me!

[ThreeDogNight]

I really do know better..

Hi, Brandy.

This is such a good place to come to for understanding and support. You have made a big step by admitting that alcohol is a problem for you. We have all been through it, and some of us had (have) serious consequences from it. Just as your son pointed out, we are not ourselves when alcohol takes over. I know I did things I would never do while sober! So for me there is no possibility of ever going back to drinking unless I want to die.
Hope you'll come back often. You might want to post on the newbies page, too. Lots of help there.

:welcome: TDN

[I Like Brandy]

I really do know better..

Thanks Three Dog Night for your encouragement..

but I am not trying to make excuses..I was here 2006 very involved with AA meetings and MWO..I need to get back on board..I see most of the old members I had friendships with are no longer part of MWO. 2012 will bring new relationships that will again strengthen me..

Thanks
Brandy

[ThreeDogNight]

I really do know better..

Hi, Brandy.

Did not realize you'd been here in 2006. Hope I didn't speak out of turn. Anyway, I'm sure you'll meet a lot of new people here.
Glad to meet you!
TDN

[ZORBA SKOTSEZOS]

I really do know better..

wow,and i thought i was fucked.i hate so much what that drug alcohol has done to me.but remember the first time, it was like wow, i can be this person that i would like to be,and the fun times i can have,but now if you are like me, alcohol is evil and no way to live by.i am still a wee boy and love everybody.i hate alcohol.

[Jolie]

I really do know better..

Brandy,

Sending you huge :l

I think sometimes we just get to the end of the line and something like what your son said to you makes you realize that we just can't keep living this way. Now's your chance to turn it around. Your son obviously loves you and cares about you, otherwise he wouldn't have said that. I know with certainty that I will never want just one glass of wine so I'm not allowing myself the temptation - no wine in my house. I've tried to stop several times - sometimes it only lasted a week, another time a little over 4 months. I keep coming back and I keep trying. Guess that's all we can do.

Hope you can take your sons comment to you and turn it into something positive - all I know is that when I don't drink, I feel so much better about myself - more in control and the waking up in the morning knowing I have one more night w/o al in my system is one of the best feelings I know.

Good luck to you and hang in there!