My Story

[LibraryGirl]

Although I feel humbled by all of your stories, and especially those with much more sober time under their belt, I too would like to share my story.

I grew up in a fundamentalist-type religous household, and my father was a preacher. Their religion believed that no other religion was valid, and that only a select few would enter the gates of Heaven. They also believed they could predict the end of the world, based on some obscure texts in the Bible. Hence, at six years of age on New Year's Eve, I waited with my family for the end of the world.

To be continued...

[shueaddict]

My Story

hanging by the edge of the seat for the next installment

[sugarbeat]

My Story

looking forward to your story library girl

[jessie]

My Story

where I you LG? The end of the world didn't come then ...so where are you? Waiting with anticipation for the next episode.

[Tipplerette]

My Story

And ..... ?

[LibraryGirl]

My Story

Sorry I had to end like that. I realized as I typed that last sentence that it was nearly 1 am, and I had to at least try to go to bed and sleep, lol. So continuing...

You're right, the world did not end, and continues on 41 years and 3 months still. I was thinking about that night as I went to sleep last night, and realized that I have no memory whatsoever of that night. I remember the events leading up to it, but nothing on that night and days afterward. I suspect, now, that it was so traumatic that I blacked out the memory totally.

So that sets a bit of a picture of my home life. Although I grew up in a more or less stable household, in that I was well provided for, and my parents did not use drugs or alcohol. However, I was different, lol. And, I was never given the kind of physical affection from my parents that I was to later see was indeed normal. There was no hugging, or "I Love Yous" in our family. My mother even once quoted from the Bible to me, that if you "love" your children too much, you cannot see their faults. (Not sure where that came from exactly)

So, I had a pretty normal set of friends, even was in the "popular" crowd, but it was common for everyone to pick on me "good-naturedly" of course. I guess because I was so sensitive and ill prepared for the world, other children could sense that, and there's nothing like children who know there's a weak link in the pack...

So, I looked for ways to rebel, trying cigarrettes at an early age...then promiscuity in high school and college. Of course, as you all know, alcohol helped with that. I did not drink during the week, but I got drunk every weekend, in order to do the things I wanted to do, like flirt, seem sexy, etc.

Fast forward to my mid 30s. Already divorced at 31, only married at 29. In my mid 30s I met a man whom I ended up dating on and off for nearly 4 years. 4 years soaked with alcohol and drugs. He was, surprisingly, as successful business man, but really enjoyed fine wines and the occasional cocaine (only during holidays, of course). His was a life among the elite of this town, and we frequently went to upscale cocktail parties and events. I am naturally shy, and not naturally sociable in large crowds, so my nerves were completely shot until I could get at least 3 drinks in me.

So, our life together was one of excess, and the daily drinking of wine started and stuck. When we parted, I moved back to my house, which I had rented while I lived with him, and started "dating" on the internet. While I was with my last bf was when I got a DUI, so I was afraid to go to bars to meet potential dates. We all know you don't really meet people in supermarkets, lol. Every night with my (magnum) bottle of wine, I would get on cyberspace looking for Mr. Right, or at least someone who could turn me on, lol. Met a lot of people that way, and eventually met my 2nd ex-husband.

Unlike the last relationship I had been in, this man was also not particularly sociable and not prone to going to parties, etc., which suited me fine. He also did not drink to excess, or at least not every day, but I changed that for him. Between the two of us, really, we started enjoying a spiced rum and cola in the evenings, and pretty soon, it became a necessity. Sometimes we wondered if we might have a "problem" and one of us would suggest not buying any rum that day, but the other would get scared and buy one anyway, and the process continued.

It continued, in fact, until 19 days ago. To make a long story short (or a bit shorter), it became a habit. When we finally separated, after years of an unsatisfactory relationship (little or no sex...like once or twice a year), the habit of daily drinking was firmly established. Then, I met my bf, with whom I am with now.

My bf does not drink, and lost both his father and mother to alcoholism, both in their late 40s early 50s. Although he never criticized me very much, until relatively lately, I knew he disapproved of my excessive drinking...And supports me fully in my abstinence.

So, as I've said in other threads many times, it came down to the actual physical affects. I could no longer hold down a job and drink like I was, not to mention every other aspect of my life that was affected...none was untouched...So with the help of Google, I found YOU, and my life has changed since that fateful Thursday 18 days ago, and I attribute much of that to this site. This is a journey I want to take with all of you, and I look forward to more sober days ahead.:l

[shueaddict]

My Story

LG, thank you so much for sharing.

There is always something you can learn from another person's story.

[Nelz]

My Story

Thats gotta be a HUGE help, having a S/O that is with you on quitting......:goodjob:

[choice]

My Story

What a well written story that I think SO many people can relate to... I want to read more. I hope you keep adding to this story. I'm so glad you've got support from the one you love. I think that really helps along the path.

[LibraryGirl]

My Story

Thanks Guys. I realized when I started that I had taken quite an undertaking, bringing my "life" story here. So, to make it easier to digest (and to write), I left out great hunks of time, lol. Therefore, I will be able to add to it here and there, as the mood hits me, and as the fans insist, lol.

For instance, my first husband was a serial cheater, and a budding alcoholic. He was 24 when we married, and I was 29. We had already gone through something HUGE before we married, and he had spent 4 months in jail...during that time, I was unfaithful. After we married (a hasty decision, when I reflect back), he paid me back in spades.

The relationship I had in my 30s for approx 4 years was at times, something out of a tabloid magazine. The addition of alcohol and drugs really took things to new heights. I can't believe I didn't die of shame some mornings.

Anyway, thanks for reading my story, abbreviated though it is. Hopefully, I can add more as time passes.

[FlyAway]

My Story

The fundamentalist upbringing with parents who never said "I love you" is a chapter out of my life story. Minus the end of the world stuff. :H

Thank you for sharing your story.

[CollieMom]

My Story

Thank you for sharing, Library Girl. Amazing what we can survive and overcome, isn't it? Human spirit vs. Alky brain? Let's hear it for Human Spirit.!

Love your signature line, b/t/w....

[LostButFound]

My Story

LG
Thank you for sharing. I know it's difficult; I posted my story, too - after months of not having the courage.
I had the emotionally stunted home-life, too. I know that pain.
Thank you, too, for replying to my posts.

[K9Lover]

My Story

LG -
I can't believe I haven't read your story prior to today. Let me start by saying I've come to love you and wish I could give you some real hugs that you never got enough of growing up! :l
You are such a wonderful addition to the MWO family and I've enjoyed getting to know you. You hang in there my friend, you are doing so well!
xoxo
K9

[Almostfamous]

My Story

I just found this!!! Girl, you can write so darn well. I'd buy your book if you wrote your story for the masses. Thanks for sharing and I'm glad you're in a better place these days.