My Dad just died

[SKendall]

My Dad just died

Hi BJ, well done you on your sober days.

I truly believe alcoholism is a family disease. Our partners put up with it, sometimes enable us and it gets very emotionally complicated. My husband did this for a long time and every time I quit he would try to sabotage my sobriety.

I think a plan would be a good idea, i.e. try not to be so distant (hard, I know), and when he's out work on you. Recovery is soooo much more than quitting alcohol. I posted a thread regarding the addictive brain that was on 60 minutes. If you could see that segment on Youtube or somewhere it shows 2 brains via MRI. Once the substance is added to the normal brain and then the addictive brain, it shows our brain chemistry under the substance, very eye opening and validation as to why we can't drink normally. WHEN you feel ready, maybe you could share it with him.

You are doing great, keep it up.

[RingingCedars]

My Dad just died

SKendall;1307963 wrote: 'm so sorry you had to lose parents so early in your life. What if the ONLY thing you DIDN'T do tomorrow was drink. It helps to break it down.

I'm not sure how your name got transpired to BJ(matters not-I hope) but the above post is so poignant. Do take control of you. That's all you/we really have. Love to you. :l

[Tatahi5]

My Dad just died

Thank you all for your support! I have found that with MWO, AA and keeping my Reason first in my mind things are going quite well. I am scared actually....things are actually good right now. I keep thinking it about how difficult it has always been to be sober even for a day or two. I am on day 11..or 12 and feel strong. All my sober friends always said that I just have to be ready. I know there will be days of fear, tears and prayers....I will pray to the universe that I find the strength to stay sober just through that day. But right now I feel strong. I am sober today.


So much pain happened the last two months. Watching my father die. Wispering to him how sorry I was for so many things, my mistakes and his over the years, I whispered int to his ear as his body slowly shut down. Putting my hand on his chest searching for a heart beat only feeling him get colder. Bring my son to him so he could say goodbye. Still managing to stay at the bar as my dad was dieing a few times durring that time late enough to scare my husband and hurt him in a very serious ways, of course I have no memory of those nights. My sister doing things that will alter our relationship forever. My son asking me to quit drinking, point blank. My dad gone in a confusing hase of pain, physical, emotional and spiritually.

I will make mistakes like everyone but I want to remember my mistakes. I will know my bounderies and only make promise I know I can keep. I will not spend time I can be with my children drunk or sleeping though a hang over. I will be conscience for my life. I will show my gratitude everyday. I will focus on health and happiness for myself, fmaily and friends. I will show my husband ultimate respect. I will learn to love myself again, my strenghs and weaknesses. I will not be someone who I hate any longer.

Sending all my love to our community. We are in this together.

Taya

[Tatahi5]

My Dad just died

PS~ I changed my name from the Bjh...(the one they gave me), to Tatahi5

[Tatahi5]

My Dad just died

OK. It just got really difficult. 15 days in and I am going to cave. I have plans when drinking makes sense. No one will push me to drink. I am having a difficult time keep my Reason in my head. I am going to a basball game tonight and we don't have the kid until tomorrow after school. What do I do? I have felt soooooo much better physically but emotionally even more so, so calm and ballanced. Now I just want to have a few beers like a normal adult drink, which I am not but I want be and forever will want to be normal. It hurts right now. I am going to go for a long bike ride, then clean up and grill some protibello's for dinner. I knew it was going to get hard. I already feel like a failure.