Up again at 3:00 am - no problem getting to sleep (even without the wine) but I wake up and then the anxiety sets in - usually for good reason. Tomorrow I go back to work (I think) - I don't know if I lost my job because I missed work because of drinking - I guess I would let me go if I were the boss. It's not just that we need the money - it's that I have once again disappointed people (especially myself).
I almost died from drinking last year - my liver completely shut down and I had an internal bleed. Thank God for the people at the E>R> - They had to drain my stomach of blood and replace my blood twice. I was in the hospital for 10 days. I had a relatively quick recovery - within 3 months my liver numbers were back in the normal range. I am stronger than I have been in years and very much aware that I almost died.
I (probably like most of you) live in a drinking society. Everyone I know drinks and it is a comfort zone when we (wonderful husband and I) get together with friends and family. You know - that's when you can relax. So - you guessed it - I started again - but only a little at first. So here I am eight months later awake and wanting a glass of wine. I could and did drink all day.
I saw the family doctor last week. My liver numbers are going up but nothing to panic about and she recommended Topamax. That's how I found My Way. I was looking for information on side effects and found this site with people I can relate to. Thanks - I'll call the doctor tomorrow and get that prescription. I'm hoping this will let me focus on other than wine. If it was in the house - I'd be drinking it.
Oh, by the way, I'm not good on finding my way through web sites so let me know if I don't quite get something right. I'm looking forward to some feedback.
Hope you all sleep well!
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