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THe Horrible Truth :-)

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    THe Horrible Truth :-)

    This post was going to be another story, much like my previous ones, about being AF for a few days and then being drunk a few nights in a row, followed by going AF again for a few days, before drinking again...

    But realizing my pattern, I thought better of boring you..

    So I feel good for about 4 hours of an evening when drinking, like total shit all of the next day and anxious and depressed due to withdrawal about 3 days a week..

    The RATIONAL part of my brains says "WTF are you doing? You know what to do to sort this out!"

    While the EMOTIONAL part of my brain says "just have a few drinks and feel OK"

    All this would be great, IF it stopped after half a bottle of wine...

    Except for the ADDICTIVE part of my brain that keeps saying "A few drinks has made you feel relaxed and gotten you out of a depressed/anxious mood, just imagine how much better you will feel if you have even more...

    I read other peoples posts and know you are alcoholics from the things you write and have just realized that I am telling the same story...

    Even though I have been doing this for 10 years, I think Today is the Day that I stop calling myself "someone who drinks a bit too much"

    "I AM AN ALCOHOLIC"

    I went to the store last night and only bought one bottle of wine, thinking "I'll just drink half of it, I need to cut down"

    I almost believed it..

    Until on the way home, I stopped at the Liquor store to get a half bottle of vodka (I was shaking my head as I walked in)

    The longest I have gone without a drink in 10 years is 2 weeks and that was by taking valium a couple of times a day...

    I'm in real trouble here...

    David :-)

    #2
    THe Horrible Truth :-)

    Hi All
    Ship it was that day that i realized i was an alkie that my recovery started. I always, in the past, just thought I had to try a little harder to control my drinking.

    I am an alkie I can't have 1 drink. The aspect of what has to be done gets much clearer. Don't have that ONE DRINK

    Stay Healthy and Keep Fighting
    AF 5-16-08
    Stay Healthy and Keep Fighting
    AF 5-16-08

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      #3
      THe Horrible Truth :-)

      I haven't admitted it yet but my Mother is sure scaring the hell out of me. She is 82 and stumbling around drunk all the time. She falls down and hurts herself almost daily. That is my future if I change directions. Right now, thankfully, I am heading towards sobriety... slowly but surely. Not sure if I'll ever be totally abstinent but aiming to live life soberly and enjoy the odd glass of wine with a good meal... even though when you really think about it, even the best wine tastes awful compared to other drinks like soda and lemon... I know I'm rambling but it's good for me. Lots to think about everytime I visit this site.

      Thanks guys
      Tipplerette

      I do this for my children, my grandchildren, my health, my peace of mind, and mostly for the opportunity to learn to live with my true, unfiltered, clear-headed, vulnerable self.

      "If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading."
      ? Lao-Tzu

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        #4
        THe Horrible Truth :-)

        do do do da da da

        Hi doo,U sound like a lovable chap.

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          #5
          THe Horrible Truth :-)

          Hi Ship at sea; there are so many different stages on the road to recovery; you are at one right now. Accepting what you are is a step in the right direction; making plans to do something about it is next. I decided years ago I needed to do that. It got that even when I was drinking the guilt and self-hatred were eating me up; someone said here 'a belly full of booze and a head full of AA'.
          It ends up getting like that, which I suppose is good because as long as your thoughts are of wanting to quit then the chances are you will make moves towards it.
          When it gets to the stage that the enjoyment of having a drink is really not even there any more, you question 'what the hell am I doing?' Well, I did anyway.
          Read back here to where many of our 'success stories' started. You will realise it is possible and worth it. If there are people, places, situations that may trigger you to drink, think of how you will deal with them; occupy yourself, set up situations or things to do that you have to do with a clear head; exercise, look forward to looking in the mirror and seeing the changes. Go shopping and fill your fridge with decent food that you will have to take the time to cook; go to the cinema, start reading a book. Set yourself up with a life that has no room for alcohol.
          For some here it happens quicker than others, some start/stop and keep coming back. The important thing is wanting to be sober and you are there.
          Not easy but worth every 'no' you say to alcohol......keep that vision of your new life at the forefront and chase it....
          IT'S NEVER TOO LATE TO BE WHAT YOU MIGHT HAVE BEEN
          Relapse starts long before the drink is drunk!!.Fresh Start!

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