But realizing my pattern, I thought better of boring you..
So I feel good for about 4 hours of an evening when drinking, like total shit all of the next day and anxious and depressed due to withdrawal about 3 days a week..
The RATIONAL part of my brains says "WTF are you doing? You know what to do to sort this out!"
While the EMOTIONAL part of my brain says "just have a few drinks and feel OK"
All this would be great, IF it stopped after half a bottle of wine...
Except for the ADDICTIVE part of my brain that keeps saying "A few drinks has made you feel relaxed and gotten you out of a depressed/anxious mood, just imagine how much better you will feel if you have even more...
I read other peoples posts and know you are alcoholics from the things you write and have just realized that I am telling the same story...
Even though I have been doing this for 10 years, I think Today is the Day that I stop calling myself "someone who drinks a bit too much"
"I AM AN ALCOHOLIC"
I went to the store last night and only bought one bottle of wine, thinking "I'll just drink half of it, I need to cut down"
I almost believed it..
Until on the way home, I stopped at the Liquor store to get a half bottle of vodka (I was shaking my head as I walked in)
The longest I have gone without a drink in 10 years is 2 weeks and that was by taking valium a couple of times a day...
I'm in real trouble here...
David :-)
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