I'm in trouble and no one knows but me!!

[caroline]

I can't remember how I found out about this web site. I spent last weekend at home alone and started drinking wine about 3pm both Sat and Sun and by the evening hours I was searching websites for help with drinking and was so smashed I really don't remember exactly which link got me here but I'm THRILLED to be here. I've ordered the book and cd's and everytime my dog barks I think it's UPS and I get really hopeful the materials have arrived. I've never spoken to a soul about my problems with alcohol and my friends and family are unaware I have a "very serious problem".... There is no way I could go to a public meeting considering what I do for a living in the community I live in and there is no one I can turn to that I trust and quite frankly, my x-husband is a psychiatrist and I don't trust the medical profession for help. After all, they make money only if you are ill.... I know this is cynical but it's where I am. I did get remarried and the 2nd time around it was great and then last Sept. my husband was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer at the age of 49 and he passed away in Dec. so I am devastated and drunk quite a lot at home alone. I function normally during the day but can't wait to get home and drink. I won't go out socially right now because I know I would get smashed. I am really depressed and I know the alcohol depresses me even more. I feel negative about almost everything. TV, movies, news, the war, everything seems so negative and I feel helpless. I know I will get over this and I know I will come out ok but right now it looks pretty grim and the isolation I have put myself in is worrisome. If this program can help me control the alcohol or "stop", I know there is good reason to keep trying to dig myself out of this hole I am in. If I thought I would live like this forever, needing alcohol to numb out every night, my future seems fruitless. I applaud all those brave people who are sharing their most intimate thoughts and feelings. The small sampling I have read has given me hope. Thank you all for your courage and any words of encouragement will be welcome!!

[lushy]

I'm in trouble and no one knows but me!!

Caroline, I am sorry for you and how you feel right now but I understand and so do many of us here. Read a lot here. It will make you feel less alone....stick around. It is a good place to be. :welcome:

[Helensback]

I'm in trouble and no one knows but me!!

Hi Caroline,

Step out with us.

I've never regretted it....

This place has saved my life.

(Not to put too fine a point on it of course...........)

But it's true.

Helen

[Bluebell]

I'm in trouble and no one knows but me!!

Caroline,

Welcome.

I am so sorry that you are in this dark place. You have obviously been through a hell of a lot. Alcohol is such an easy crutch to lean on. It supports you all the way to oblivion. Then you wake up, feeling sick, paranoid, depressed, etc, etc. And at the end of it all there you still are, in the same situation. The alcohol gets you out of that situation for a period of time but then ruthlessly throws you back into it with a few kicks in the head thrown in for good measure. Some crutch eh?

I am fairly new here too but have been helped enormously in the few weeks I have been here by forming new friendships, reading the posts on other people's experiences, advice, humour. Everyone is here, in varying degrees, for the same reason. We want to get/stay healthy.

As Lush and Helensback said this place can help you feel less alone with your "problem" and could even give you your life back.

[Diana]

I'm in trouble and no one knows but me!!

Dear Caroline,
Welcome and you have found the right place to try and get your drinking sorted out. I have only been here for a short while and reading other peoples stories and getting support and advice has turned my life around. You are very sad at this time and life seems a bit pointless but you are with friends here and I for one will be looking for your postings and trying to support you on your journey. I hope to give back what others have given me

Best wishes
Diana

[Popeye]

I'm in trouble and no one knows but me!!

Hi Caroline,
Welcome.
You have had a terrible time recently.
I hope you find what you need.

[optimist]

I'm in trouble and no one knows but me!!

Hi Caroline,
Been where you're at - keep reaching for the way out - you'll find it - as long as you keep reaching - i'm new here too - very helpful so far.

Optimist:welcome:

[dilayne]

I'm in trouble and no one knows but me!!

Welcome Caroline..I'm glad you are here! (((huge hugs for your loss))) It's a new day and my guess..by spring you'll be singing a new song!
Namaste!
Dianne

[MacMan]

I'm in trouble and no one knows but me!!

New too - can empathise with you Carolyn!

I feel the same way. . . planning on that drink before I even get home. I have tried alcoholismcure.org for many months with no appreciable results and I'm a lot broker because of it. . . It appears that there is support here Carolyn and we can share our "stuff" safely. I am sorry for you loss dear. . .

Blessings.
M

[Rocky]

I'm in trouble and no one knows but me!!

Welcome Carolyn!!

Glad you are here! You will find understanding and help here I can assure you of that.

read as many posts as you can...you are not alone in this journey.

Very best wishes t you...

[cpn1004]

I'm in trouble and no one knows but me!!

Caroline, greetings from another Texan. You can do this. I found this site much like you, by accident. It has been extremely useful.
Welcome to the journey.
Love and Peace,
Phil

[Guest]

I'm in trouble and no one knows but me!!

Caroline,
I have only been a member for one week. I lost my fiance' in April 2006. He was in a car accident and so badly damaged, I never saw him. I felt as though I never said good-bye. Got REALLY depressed just like you...started drinking more and more and more. Which in turn just has made me more and more and more depressed. I know just how you feel. I hope this site is helping you. I feel it is helping me already...

[lucky 2.0]

I'm in trouble and no one knows but me!!

Caroline,

Welcome! I am sorry for your loss and glad you found the site. It will get better. Spend a lot of time in the Research Section of the site, as well as the boards. Glad to have you here.

All the best-
lucky

[Ripley]

I'm in trouble and no one knows but me!!

Caroline

This is a wonderful site. You can express your darkest fears, your greatest worries, your craziest hopes... no one will judge you and everyone will help you. The programme really works and will help you regain control over your life. welcome and good luck

kate

[Jacy]

I'm in trouble and no one knows but me!!

I hope things get better for you. i have used alcohol for to many years to numb my anger and hurt.