Ashamed, Sad, Hopeless and Helpless

[Serenity1]

I am 50 years old and I have been drinking for 20 years. I have tried AA and it didn't work for me. I pray to God for strength but is not working either for I am week and feeble when it comes to alcohol. I tend to fool myself in convincing me that if I drink only wine, it will be fine. Well, last night I did it again. Went out with co-workers got drunk and ridiculed myself in front of them and of course I don't remember anything and I am afraid to ask or go back to work on Monday. I am disgusted with myself, I am sick and tired of being sick and tired. IS THERE HOPE FOR ME? DOES GOD STILL LOVES ME A LITTLE? I WANT TO CHANGE! IS IT TOO LATE FOR ME? I LOVE GOD AND WANT TO BELIEVE HE HAS NOT GIVEN UP ON ME.......:upset: :upset: :new:

[Accountable for Me]

Ashamed, Sad, Hopeless and Helpless

Welcome Serentity1. Glad you are here. Dont' ever think God doesn't love you because you are drinking!!!! He loves us all. I am not religious, but want you to know that.

You will find you are not alone fighting this. We all have problems with alcohol. I would suggest you read a lot here and post a lot as well. You will find a lot of 'friends' and support here.

Addiction is a horrible thing. We can all relate to it. All of those feelings you have described, we all have felt or are still feeling. The thing is, you aren't any of these. You posted here. You want help. You have admitted you have a problem, and you should feel very proud of yourself for doing it!! That is the first step in obtaining sobriety or moderated drinking. Good for you. Stop beating yourself up it only makes you feel worse. Start loving yourself and tell yourself you deserve to be well!!

:welcome:

[sri]

Ashamed, Sad, Hopeless and Helpless

Welcome Serenity1 - you are not alone. We are very glad you are here! There is hope and support here. There are not people who will judge you here. Keep checking in - read the posts. You will find wonderful friends to lean on. Join us like Fan said - one hour at a time at first.

[lushy]

Ashamed, Sad, Hopeless and Helpless

Serenity I wanted to say Welcome and I am glad you found us. I do not think there is one person on this board that has not experienced what you are going through today at some point. You will be okay. Stick around here, read, read and read. Look forward to getting to know you!:welcome:

[ModerationNow]

Ashamed, Sad, Hopeless and Helpless

Ditto, to all the above comments. I feel your pain exactly, as I have gotten drunk yesterday as well. I feel so guilty and worthless too but the others are right, beating ourselves up over it doesn't change what happened but we have reason to look to the future because we have admitted to having a problem and now we can work on a change. Are you close with your co-workers? I have found out in the past that most of the time the embarrassment wasn't as bad as I had thought and on many occasions I blew it out of proportion in my mind (kinda like wondering if I said something stupid or hurtful and being pretty sure I had, only to find out that others were not even aware that I had a black-out, they just thought I was funny tipsy). So, hopefully, your co-workers just thought you were funny...And from now on just work on improvement. We are all worth God's love.

[TomNolds]

Ashamed, Sad, Hopeless and Helpless

Yes God Loves YOU and many here do too, Dont give up. Feel free to talk to me. Light Love Healing and Understanding Tom

[Diana]

Ashamed, Sad, Hopeless and Helpless

Dear Senerity1,
Most of us have done what you did last night but you have now reached a point where you want to change. That is the first step so like the others have said welcome and keep on coming back. Read the posts and it won't be long before you feel encouraged and supported. God does love you and it sounds like you love and believe in Him. He gave us free will and that is why we drink and let it take over our lives. I think that old Devil may be in there as well helping us believe that we can't survive without alcohol.

Go to work on Monday, hold your head up high and know that you have been guided to this site. You will meet many people who will become your lifeline. Get a plan and don't be too hard on yourself.

It is never too late to change, I am 58 years old and I'm sure there are many people older than me.

Warm regards
Diana

[Deniselb]

Ashamed, Sad, Hopeless and Helpless

Serenity,

Welcome and as you can see there is a world of support here. We've all been there, I know it's tough but let go of the guilt and never lose hope...there's always hope for us all!

Hugs and support your way:l

[Serenity1]

Ashamed, Sad, Hopeless and Helpless

THANK YOU FOR YOUR COMFORTING WORDS OF SUPPORT

[morrison]

Ashamed, Sad, Hopeless and Helpless

Serenity, you can quit. I know you can. Start getting involved here, and you will enjoy it. I started drinking when I was 12, was a major drunk by 17, and continued to drink until I was 34, as well as sample every pharmeceutical I can think of. Do you realize I've been drinking more of my life than not drinking? I got stuck in the cycle. I drank, messed up, and hated myself. I hated myself, so I drank The cycle seemed impossible to break. This site has so much great information. Try to go through the steps. You'll find a large majority of folks here didn't have success with AA either. We find there are other options that work, and you'll find what works for you. As far as feeling bad about your actions, and not being loved, I say don't sweat it. You'll always be loved by God, and will find a lot of love here. You'll have to learn to forgive youself to break the cycle. The longer you abstain, the sooner feelings of guilt will go away. I'm reading a good book right now called "The Easy Way to Quit Drinking" by Allan Carr. I'm just about done. I like it a lot. Part of it deals with letting go of the guilt we feel because of our drinking. The book explains we have NO control, and the booze is to blame. Now, it is not meant as a cop out to not be accountable for our actions, but a way to get started on a new path. I would recommend this book. Oh, and :welcome: I hope to see you around here. Good luck, and God bless.

[southernbelle47]

Ashamed, Sad, Hopeless and Helpless

:welcome: and :goodjob: on coming here and posting......

Yes! There is hope!

Keep reading and posting.....God does not give up on us.....we can not give up either....

:h Nancy
PS ...go read what we believe thread!!

[ibelieve7]

Ashamed, Sad, Hopeless and Helpless

believe

I am very new to this and today is my first day of sobriety. I just wanted to let you know that I know how you feel and it hurts inside knowing that something has taken over my life too. The many nights that I don't remember, the too embarrassed to look at anyone the next day feeling, the guilt, the shame, all of it. I too have been there. We just have to believe that we can overcome this. Of course God loves you, he wants us to fight this battle and he wants us to win. We just have to be proud of ourselves and take it one day at a time. Just believe!!!

[Popeye]

Ashamed, Sad, Hopeless and Helpless

Hello Serenity1 and ibelieve7
Stick around. This is a great place to come for good advice and support.
Welcome.

[Paddy]

Ashamed, Sad, Hopeless and Helpless

G'day Serenity. Don't despair.You reached the right place. As everyone said, just stick around. Now's the time, where there's a will there's a way. Many of us have been able to change, and so will you.

Welcome!

[doglu]

Ashamed, Sad, Hopeless and Helpless

Serenity1, ask your doctor for a prescription of naltroxone/ReVia or Campral - they are medications which curb the craving for alcohol. I think it would help a lot.