:new:
I don't really know where to start. I'm 35 just about to turn 36. I'm fit I go to gym at least 3 times a week. I run. I'm training for a marathon. I've got 2 young kids. I don't drink every night, maybe 1 night in the week and then generally on weekends. I can go for 2/3 weeks even a month without drinking. The problem is that most times when I do drink I drink quickly and a lot ( 8/12 beers) and generally black out. I'm so tired of that feeling of dread and remorse when i wake up the next day and I'm not entirely sure of how the night ended, what did I say, did I offend anyone, checking my phone to see who I called? A few weeks ago I fell off low wall and to be honest I don't remember it just flashes of what happened after. There have been times when I'm able to manage my drinking and I'll only have 4 or 5 and I remember to eat and stop. But the times I don't are happening more often than I'm happy with. I try to be a good role model for my kids but I'm not doing so well in this area. Yesterday I went to a lunch with my kids and took 6 beers thinking I wouldn't drink them all but I got through them in about 3 hrs then I found 1 more in the fridge then moved onto a glass of wine (don't normally mix) remember the first few sips was all good till then? then nothing. Woke up on my couch at home. kids were thankfully in bed and in one piece. Apparently my friend followed us home in their car we live 5 mins away from each other. I'm feeling horrified, lost, sick and don't know what to do about it. I'm tired. Also scared to stop in a way. My husband and I drink together, our weekends often involve a lunch/supper with friends that involve drinking. I feel like I'm funnier and good for a laugh when I've had a few. Conversation flows, can make people laugh but I don't know at which point I black out. Often no-one even really notices that i have and are genuinely surprised when I say I can't remember a part of the night. I just want to be able to control the amount I drink and not black out but I'm feeling like I should quit altogether but not sure that I want to in my heart of hearts. i would love to hear your thoughts on what I'm feeling/going through/ trying to solve Thanks!!
I don't really know where to start. I'm 35 just about to turn 36. I'm fit I go to gym at least 3 times a week. I run. I'm training for a marathon. I've got 2 young kids. I don't drink every night, maybe 1 night in the week and then generally on weekends. I can go for 2/3 weeks even a month without drinking. The problem is that most times when I do drink I drink quickly and a lot ( 8/12 beers) and generally black out. I'm so tired of that feeling of dread and remorse when i wake up the next day and I'm not entirely sure of how the night ended, what did I say, did I offend anyone, checking my phone to see who I called? A few weeks ago I fell off low wall and to be honest I don't remember it just flashes of what happened after. There have been times when I'm able to manage my drinking and I'll only have 4 or 5 and I remember to eat and stop. But the times I don't are happening more often than I'm happy with. I try to be a good role model for my kids but I'm not doing so well in this area. Yesterday I went to a lunch with my kids and took 6 beers thinking I wouldn't drink them all but I got through them in about 3 hrs then I found 1 more in the fridge then moved onto a glass of wine (don't normally mix) remember the first few sips was all good till then? then nothing. Woke up on my couch at home. kids were thankfully in bed and in one piece. Apparently my friend followed us home in their car we live 5 mins away from each other. I'm feeling horrified, lost, sick and don't know what to do about it. I'm tired. Also scared to stop in a way. My husband and I drink together, our weekends often involve a lunch/supper with friends that involve drinking. I feel like I'm funnier and good for a laugh when I've had a few. Conversation flows, can make people laugh but I don't know at which point I black out. Often no-one even really notices that i have and are genuinely surprised when I say I can't remember a part of the night. I just want to be able to control the amount I drink and not black out but I'm feeling like I should quit altogether but not sure that I want to in my heart of hearts. i would love to hear your thoughts on what I'm feeling/going through/ trying to solve Thanks!!
I'll definitely have a look at the Newbies nest. 
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