Not exciting, but still My Life

[NoSugar]

Not exciting, but still My Life

Hi, Overit

I know the words 'never' and 'ever' sound scary at first but when you think of never again feeling like you did the last couple days or of never having another endless argument with yourself about whether you could have 'just one', they can be liberating! As of right now, you can be done with all of this BS forever and ever .

[Overit44]

Not exciting, but still My Life

NS-"liberating" is such a GREAT description. I really felt that last time. This time I'm really having to work at it. But I agree, ( always talk about last time because that's all I have to compare it too) last time, I could run an errand or make a phone call or read a book or eat out late or go to an event, all after 7:00 because I wasn't lit. it was very liberating and I was surprised how much time there really was in a day.

[j-vo]

Not exciting, but still My Life

Hi Overit,
I've read through your thread. You really are a very strong woman. You've had a long stretch of sobriety, and just remember how you felt. I know your mind is going back and forth, so stop the chatter in your mind by taking the AB. It helped before, so it can again. Make a time in the morning that you will take it, and stick to that time.

Your story about the woman you worked with really resonated with me. My neighbor, who is 43 ended up in the hospital in January with cirrhosis of the liver. She was in the hospital for a few months. She had to have dialysis for awhile. They were contemplating a liver transplant but wouldn't do it for her as her damage was alcohol induced. When I went to the hospital to see her, I thought I was staring at death. At that point, and this was at least a month after she'd been admitted, I didn't recognize her. It scared the shit out of me. She was a girl that was at the gym daily, ate well, and then all of a sudden, depression struck her, and I know she has anxiety issues. These two conditions are really hard, as I know because I have both of them. But she finally got out of the hospital. She has a long road with her health. She is still retaining that yellowish/jaundice color. She's lost a lot of weight. I really hope that she comes around. But that's just another story of what alcohol can do to someone so young. I hope you decide to take the antabuse daily!

j-vo

[Overit44]

Not exciting, but still My Life

Thanks J-Vo. Yes the AB is the answer at this point. As I sit here I'm contemplating not taking it so I can drink next week at a party but I know that is ridiculous and so I talk to THAT self and say "oh no you don't" and hurry up and pop a pill before THAT self knows what I'm doing. It's scary. Usually I'm OK if I can distract myself for a few minutes but I'm finding myself sitting here this AM constantly thinking about drinking. I'm just not happy or excited about an AF life this time. I've got to change that thinking or I will be back at the bottle.

[NoSugar]

Not exciting, but still My Life

Did you take it, Overit? Just do it REALLY FAST!! You'll be glad you did. :l

[Overit44]

Not exciting, but still My Life

I did......I'm safe for today. Thanks No Sugar.

I just need to get through THIS DAY.

[NoSugar]

Not exciting, but still My Life

Good :l.

[j-vo]

Not exciting, but still My Life

Looking back at your AF time, what were some things that you really loved about it. Can you make a list of things you did during that time, feelings you felt while you were AF, the way you looked? Then make a list now. How do you feel emotionally now compared to when you were AF? Is there a difference? What is the difference? Reflect, maybe in a journal?

[Overit44]

Not exciting, but still My Life

Well, here I am again. Day 1 again. Feeling like sh!t again. Shaky, hung over, sick to my stomach, headache, etc. This last weekend was spent drinking before breakfast and I think my husband was actually annoyed with me. What a sad waste of time. Now, just waiting for 3 days to be over this and start to feel good again.....again.

[NoSugar]

Not exciting, but still My Life

Did you stop the antabuse first? I'm so sorry this came about, Overit, but if your main tool is AB, you know you've got to take it.

Please post here before you fail to take the pill or choose to drink. Someone will be here to help you make a better choice.

Take care of yourself, NS

[Overit44]

Not exciting, but still My Life

It was a planned drink and I stopped my AB in plenty of time. What a waste! No excuses. But, it is scary because I thought "this is serious, pretty soon I'll be one of those that needs help to detox safely. This is serious. I am truly an alcoholic. I cannot drink, at all, ever. WOW!"


Thanks for checking up on me NS. I appreciate it.

[NoSugar]

Not exciting, but still My Life

Hi,

If it was planned, it sounds like you're not yet ready to commit to this lifestyle. I hope you don't wait for a rock bottom that seriously injures you or someone else. You might lose the luxury of making your own decisions.

Right now it is entirely in your hands. And you KNOW you have plenty of supporters here.

:l NS

[Overit44]

Not exciting, but still My Life

NoSugar;1599656 wrote: Hi,

I hope you don't wait for a rock bottom that seriously injures you or someone else. You might lose the luxury of making your own decisions.



:l NS

Yes. I always thought I wasn't ONE OF THOSE DRUNKS but I'm starting to think otherwise, and it's scary.

[Pavati]

Not exciting, but still My Life

I was there, Overit. Exactly. I wasn't one of THOSE drunks, but lo and behold...

Lots of water/Gatorade and relaxation. Glad you're back.

[Overit44]

Not exciting, but still My Life

Feeling really good today. I can't go back, never ever, not there again. I don't think I could do it again, especially alone. Detox is dangerous. Very scary. I hope I remember this feeling. I love waking up ready to go.