Long time lurker, first time poster and newest member of your family. Been drinking heavily for approximately 15 years on average 1-2 times per week. 28 years old now and although that level has been reduced somewhat over the last few years, the binges have caught up and taken their cumulative effect - physically, mentally, spiritually, you name it. On the face of it I have a great life. Family, friends, decent job, etc. On the inside however I've stopped growing in many respects.
I'm not sure if I can put all the blame on my choices re alcohol but I'm pretty damn sure its been one of the chief contributors to my problems. Not only some of the bad situations that you inevitably find yourself in after binging but also the side effects that are often overlooked including stress, depression, anxiety, shame.
I live in Ireland and the culture is steeped in drink. Social occasions nearly always end up around heavy drinking sessions. The cycle is repeated in ad nauseum - rinse and repeat. I will have little support in this journey that I have started out on this morning. I've gone off the booze for spells here and there but realise that I need some kind of support to break out of this habit before I sink any further. I'm not the kind of person to go to a meeting so I hope this community will fill that void cos I know I can't do this all alone.
However I do know that I can do it. I've pulled it out of the bag in other areas when the odds didnt look good and I'm prepared to dig deep again in this battle. I'm sick of pouring crap into me, sick of the noise it creates that I don't need. Hell I don't even like the taste and it's cost me a small fortune over the years in more ways than one.
I've made this vow before and fallen short but I always believe that if you get knocked down you keep getting back up. I refuse to play the game anymore. I know there'll be casualties amongst the days to come but I'll be damned if I'll contine to be the casualty anymore. I've done my time, enjoyed a lot of it especially when I was younger but come to embrace the reality that alcohol and propping up a bar no longer has a place in my life.
I hope that I'll be here for a long time to come and I'm pretty sure more of my story and experience will come out along the way. But for now I just want to say hi and thanks for taking the time to read. As someone great once said - I'm free to be who I want to be, not who you want me to be.
Happy New Year and with it, new hope to all looking to beat this problem. :thanks:
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