I could just die

[mnorgard]

Ugh. I joined this group last summer and started the program. It didn't last very long as my motivation and willpower are zero. I drink almost every night. I've tried so many times to make this work but about 5:00 every day I decide that "I'll start tomorrow". Last Wednesday night I went out for "a glass of wine" with some guys I work with. The last thing I remember is sitting at the table at the restaurant, laughing, and then I woke up in a holding cell at a local jail! I don't have a clue what happened. I wasn't driving but I am so mortified. I haven't seen any of the guys I was with, I don't know if they were there, I don't know if I made a scene in the restaurant. It's a restaurant I frequent and now I can't go back there. I just want to die. How do I find out if I got arrested? Will it be on my "record" somehow? Oh, I'm so disgusted with myself. Has this happened to anyone else? Is there any hope at all? Who will know about this? Ughhhh....Please help...

Marc

[Guest]

I could just die

Oh Marc, I am so sorry....I called an officer Barney Fiff once...not sure if you are familiar with Andy Griffith, but that wasn't good. Also, told him he was uneducated, an idiot, didn't make enough to pay his electric bill...poor soul. I was mortified the next day! I honestly have utmost respect for law enforcement and could not believe I was so cruel to another person period. You certainly can find out what you were arrested for...did you get some sort of ticket? So sorry for your troubles...

[betty boop]

I could just die

Marc, we have all done stupid things that we can't remember, the good thing about this place is that no one ever judges you.

You are among true friends, keep reading and posting, for me it was a gradual thing, cutting down before going AF, but others have tried different ways.

Have you downloaded the books? they were excellent for me.

Take care,

[Jacy]

I could just die

Marc,

I barely remember the last conversation with my sister because of my drinking that was about 3 weeks ago. The one thing I do remember is that she really gave it to me about my drinking. It really hurt and I don't think I will ever forget it.

The thing is there are so many times I have no idea what I said let alone done. Sometimes it is for the best and sometimes maybe not. All I can say is your not alone.

[Serenity]

I could just die

Marc
I have been in court for hitting my husband on head with cava bottle - v. sophisticated and recall absolutely zilch - me with my 2 degrees and respectable home.

It could have ruined my career!!! absolutely mortified - this was last year - still didn't stop drinking but all these episodes add up to make us think. Enough!!

And before that was arrested for drunk and disorderly, after being sick all down myself - again no recollection - just came too walking around Bond Street tube. I like to think it was in stylish manner but covered in vomit ruins the image.

So yes I have been in your shoes.... which is why I am here and I guess you are too. I'll let you into a secret - I think it is working.... shhhhhhh!

Love
S

[Lou]

I could just die

Marc

I remember you as i think we joined round about the same time....I can relate so much to what you've said...altho iv never woken up in a cell...iv always been rescued by my family...in a way i think thats just as bad....you wake up in your normal bed and just have this horrid feeling that you've done something bad....the next few wks..months..yrs are spent reminding you of the state you were in...and you may have some vague flashbacks, but most of its lost and its all so confusing.
I am hopefully recovering...but i believe that during my years of drunken stupors i have damaged my brain, i don't seem to possess the intelligence that i once did.
I am hoping that the longer i stay sober..the more my brain will recover from the damage that i inflicted upon it.....fingers crossed!!

Lou x x x

[Helensback]

I could just die

Wow -

Sometimes I tour around this site thinking not much relates to me. And then:

"I am hopefully recovering...but i believe that during my years of drunken stupors i have damaged my brain, i don't seem to possess the intelligence that i once did.
I am hoping that the longer i stay sober..the more my brain will recover from the damage that i inflicted upon it.....fingers crossed!!"


By the grace of God.

[morrison]

I could just die

Marc, you are definitely not alone. Been in the clink a few times myself for stuff, all alcohol related. But, the worst thing that happened to me that I couldn't remember was waking up in an ambulance while getting my head stapled. I was a bloody mess, and was on a gurney. I had a neck brace on. Last thing I remembered was being in a bar, completely smashed out of my mind. I was taken to the hospital, and stayed for a couple days. I just had to lay there in such physical and mental anguish. I was beaten so bad, I couldn't work for a bit, and had to get shoulder surgery because it was so screwed up. So, I know that feeling of having something bad happen and not knowing all the details. Just keep checking in here to let us know what is going on, so you can get some support. As somebody mentioned above, you will not be judged here. Take care.

[tawnyfrog]

I could just die

Morrison.

Bloody hell.

We need people like you, who are prepared to spill their guts ....

Thank You!

[Popeye]

I could just die

Marc,
please know this........you are not alone.
So many times, I have woken up with a hangover and a smile on my face, not realising the things that I have done, or the words that I have said. I still can't talk about the worst ones, not even to myself. There is so much shame involved. I have wanted to die, but I don't any more. I'm trying to find.........???????. Sometimes my life sucks, and sometimes it is ...just so full of goodness.
Please look after yourself.

[brightfield]

I could just die

sloshed again

hi everyone, found this site by looking for possible medication for my alcohol addiction. been at it very heavily for 25 years now. the docs wont give me what i want (antabuse,campral; ect,) wanna make friends with all you guys and girls ive been reading about for the last two and a half hours.

mnorgard;107524 wrote: Ugh. I joined this group last summer and started the program. It didn't last very long as my motivation and willpower are zero. I drink almost every night. I've tried so many times to make this work but about 5:00 every day I decide that "I'll start tomorrow". Last Wednesday night I went out for "a glass of wine" with some guys I work with. The last thing I remember is sitting at the table at the restaurant, laughing, and then I woke up in a holding cell at a local jail! I don't have a clue what happened. I wasn't driving but I am so mortified. I haven't seen any of the guys I was with, I don't know if they were there, I don't know if I made a scene in the restaurant. It's a restaurant I frequent and now I can't go back there. I just want to die. How do I find out if I got arrested? Will it be on my "record" somehow? Oh, I'm so disgusted with myself. Has this happened to anyone else? Is there any hope at all? Who will know about this? Ughhhh....Please help...

Marc

[morrison]

I could just die

tawnyfrog;107709 wrote: Morrison.

Bloody hell.

We need people like you, who are prepared to spill their guts ....

Thank You!

Oh Tawny, so many horrible stories. I like this place, because it is a lot easier to write this stuff down, than talk about it in a group setting like AA. I need to get stuff like this off my chest. Too many years of being a bad drunk. I don't know what I did the night of the drubbing, but I'm sure I was an ass. Whevener I got to the point of blacking out, it was always bad. Now, I don't know what I could have said/done to deserve nearly being killed, but it doesn't matter. I shouldn't have been in such a disgusting drunken state. Most of the time I would drink, even a lot, I would remember things the next day. If I have a space of time that I couldn't remember, I would immediately get anxious, because I knew something bad happend. I also hope I'm not judged to harshly, as I will be extremely honest. I don't believe I'm a bad person, and booze just allows it to come out. I truly become somebody different, and its scary. That is why I know that I can't go back. I'm too scared of Mr Hyde.:nutso:

[morrison]

I could just die

Hello brightfield. :welcome: Why is it the docs aren't willing to help you out? I had some issue when asking about Antabuse. Seems like a lot of docs don't like to prescribe it, now that there are other alternatives. Antabuse can be dangerous if the person continues to drink anyway. I'm taking Campral, and it seems to be working fine. Anyway, I got the rx from my shrink. A few other people on here had problems asking their family doctor about meds because they were uncomfortable admitting their problem. I told them to see a shrink, because they love writing prescriptions. :H But in all seriousness, that may be the way to go. Srinks have a better understanding of the human mind than General Practioners. Plus, they hear so much crazy shit all day long, they are not going to care what you tell them, so there is no need to be shy about it. That is just one option. As far as Topa goes, I geuss you can maybe tell your doc a little white lie and say you need it for migraines. However, I have no experience with the topa, and how much is needed, so somebody else might come along and chime in. Good luck with getting the meds you need.

[achildatheart]

I could just die

You are in the company of others whom understand. I am soosooo fortunate that I have not had a scrape with the law, but God knows the truth about my habits.....The reason I am answering is that I think of a wonderful actor who produced a very moving movie called The Passion of the Christ. this man was pulled over...I guess we all know the story....My point is...Somebody who was responsible for such a wonderful work, clearly had a problem that night. talk about the ultimate humiliation....I believe it was alcohol working its magic.....Again..............................

[Chef]

I could just die

Marc, I know what the feeling is like. While I've not been in legal trouble - only by the grace of God, mind you, there have been many times I SHOULD have been pulled over for DWI, but somehow, God got me home safe - anyhow, I cheated on my husband while under the influence, and I was caught red-handed . . . "luckily" before it went the whole way. So I understand the total shame that's felt, but you deal with it and move on. Learn the lesson b/c you can! Good luck!