Off as most people do when young and partying. Initially I would drink occasionally when
Out at club or sports bar. In 2002 I started making some very poor choices in terms
Of the company I kept. Going clubbin several days a week became a lifestyle pretty
Fast which meant several nights of heavy drinking. Amazingly I was still able to hold on
To a job and work out religiously. Fast forward a few years later I got pregnant (unplanned) as the selfish nature of the beast is, I had an abortion as I wasn't ready to
Take responsibility for anyone or anything. The downward spiral really took off from that point. I started drinking every night. I got a Dui and lost my job in less than a year
My drink of choice was ice beer. In 2006 I met new drinking buddies who's demons
Were worse than mine. I was unemployed but was drawing unemployment. I had the money and the time. We would start drinking from 6am through the day into the night
Most weekdays and weekends. Surprisingly I never let go of my love for working out. To be honest I think its what has kept me alive this long. Hang overs and all I still found a way to get several miles in (running).
Five years ago I did land another job which I've kept so far. I still drank daily (4 beers) weekdays and 10 to 15 beers on weekends. 3 years ago vodka was added on an
Things really went to another level. To say the least another entity takes over when iam on
Vodka. I've managed to loose all my friends. Insulted family members, ruin entire parties
Ruin christmas parties. To say the least iam not welcome anywhere. I've had 3 arrests in the
Last three years due to disorderly conduct. The last arrest really
shook me up as no one would bail me out. The judge let me out in
Time to report back to work before I was to be fired. I know that
If I ever get arrested again iam definitely doing time. I started asking myself
Is it really worth it? I've allowed the beast to rob me of everything.
Friends, reputation, time, peace of mind, money, health, self-worth
Self-control, sense of purpose.. ..u get the point. With this sense
of awareness I started facing the beast head on. I won a several
battles last year and was able to log 100 days of AF last year.
This year iam on day 15 today. I am back with my best friend
(Running) pretty much daily. I've renewed my commitment to
My walk with Christ and things are much much better.
Alcoholism is a physical and a spiritual diseases. I nourish the
Body with raw green smoothies with spinach, broccoli, spirullin
Garlic among other goodies. I take omega 3 6 9 and low fat protein
Daily. Oiko greek yoghurt is one of my daily delights. I sleep like a baby
Especially after the work outs and no buzz can ever come close to
This feeling. The sense if freedom and the actual possibility of a
Future is all worthy whatever it takes to triumph over these darkness.
One day at a time is my approach. I pray that I will not stumble
but if do and fall, I know I'll not stay down and remain in the abbys
as I remain for years
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