New Girl Grateful...

[Persephone1]

New Girl Grateful...

Drakko,

So glad that you found this site. I know it's scary and u feel like crap now, but it does get better! Please stick with us, reach out when you need to. The Newbies Nest is a good place too. Take good care of yourself.

[Sunbeam]

New Girl Grateful...

Persephone, I have enjoyed your posts. You will heal yourself and help many others along the way. Just remember to keep your oxygen mask on, like the attendants say on the plane, help yourself first so that you will be able to continue helping others.

[Kitten2222]

New Girl Grateful...

I'm sorry for the loss of your mother. My mother also died from cancer one year ago and I haven't gone more than one day probably without drinking (beer) until I pass out. I have so much sorrow and regret. I just found this site today, and swore I wouldn't start writing on these pages, not just yet anyway, until I figured it out a little more. But I was really touched by your story and how you are taking responsibility for yourself.

[Persephone1]

New Girl Grateful...

Hello, Welcome...

Hi Kitten,

:thanks: for sharing with me (you posted on the blog I started on my first day) about the loss of your mom and the distress you are in now. It's a tough place to be, but this forum can be a lifeline. I decided to send you a personal message, since you said you didn't want to post just yet, I figured this might be a bit more comfy for you :h

I grappled with quitting, flip-flopped around for over a year (didn't have this forum or any support for that matter). But about a month ago I had my last 'drunk'. It was pitiful and I was done. Certainly, I am NOT saying I am 'above' a 'slip,' but I honestly have NO desire to feel that shitty again. The Fun is gone for me. There is a thread called 'FEEL LIKE DRINKING - PLAY IT TO THE END' where I and others have shared a 'Day in the LIfe' of their alcoholic BS, it could be helpful...

Also, there is a book I just stared reading called 'Unwasted' written by a young woman who I can totally relate to, perhaps you can too? I found it quite brilliant and I love her witty style of writing. I bought and downloaded to Kindle Cloud in literally a few minutes - awesome!

Anyway, if you want a friend, I am here for you, whether you are ready to 'quit' now or not. I will not admonish or criticize you. I may occasionally offer another way to view to some things, but that's what people who care do, right? : ) I do no believe you found this site (and perhaps me in particular) on accident. The fact that your struggle right now resonates with I too am going through can bring us together in a special way. You don't have to go through this alone. Sounds like you have been suffering long enough?

Take my hand friend, welcome to your NEW LIFE :l

[piper123]

New Girl Grateful...

NoSugar;1452285 wrote: I hate the thought of just disappearing from this forum because I failed and was embarrassed and did not want to admit it (hmmm... where did that NoSugar go????) and I also really do not want to have to post that I failed (although I will do so if I have to - promise!!).

This is me. I read here every day and am desparate to come back but haven't been able to because I continue to fail. I never really connected with anyone yet I feel like I know so many here. I need help and maybe this thread will help me come back and start posting again. I am reading sober for good. I make a plan and fail at it everyday. I've gone to
Aa, read, researched and I am determined to be sober.

[NoSugar]

New Girl Grateful...

piper123;1464380 wrote: This is me. I read here every day and am desparate to come back but haven't been able to because I continue to fail. I never really connected with anyone yet I feel like I know so many here. I need help and maybe this thread will help me come back and start posting again. I am reading sober for good. I make a plan and fail at it everyday. I've gone to
Aa, read, researched and I am determined to be sober.

Hi, Piper

Just today I was wondering if anyone reads posts ---sometime it seems like they disappear into the ether. And here comes this post from you, reminding me that posting is worth it because maybe the right person will read it. Thank you!

I am only on day 25 and so am in pretty early days but I would be happy to work on this with you as would several other people at all stages in the Newbies Nest. Have you read and posted there recently? Maybe you could introduce yourself there now and I will "meet" you there tomorrow, ok?

[Persephone1]

New Girl Grateful...

piper123;1464380 wrote: This is me. I read here every day and am desparate to come back but haven't been able to because I continue to fail. I never really connected with anyone yet I feel like I know so many here. I need help and maybe this thread will help me come back and start posting again. I am reading sober for good. I make a plan and fail at it everyday. I've gone to
Aa, read, researched and I am determined to be sober.

Hi Piper and Welcome back!

I can understand your frustration and desperation. :l There are so many caring people here who will definitely encourage you in your journey, wherever you find yourself. It's so wonderful that you found this site. If you are so inclined, the Newbies Nest is a good place to get cozy & settle in, but you can post anywhere that you desire, or you can start your own thread. You can also send personal messages to anyone (myself included) and I'm certain you will be warmly received in any of these settings.

I went through the exact thing that you're going through but I didn't choose to share it with anyone, sadly. I wish I had. I typically try and shelter others from any pain I'm going thru, so as not to burden. Bad plan for me. However, I'm happy to say that I am in the 4th week and I am extremely grateful. It's wonderful waking up FREE.

My last 'drunk' I sat and deliberately drank 6 beers in a row with the intention of sending myself into oblivion. With each beer, it was as if I was choking down a can full of 'medicine', as that is what I was using it for; self-medicating. And it worked, though not the way I intended, as it had SO many times before. That last drunk served as a catalyst for a radical paradigm shift for me. The planets all happened to line up on that night and I was changed. I woke up finally, spent & resigned. I FINALLY saw alcohol for the lying, thieving bastard it is.

I had been pleading with the universe from the depths of my soul for this for many, many moons. Personally, I needed to get to this point. I fear that this or much worse were the only things that would have gotten my attention. Honestly when I think about the reality of this, I am mortified, because any number of things could have taken my life before actually getting there. Scares the hell outta me and makes me that much more grateful when I wake up sober each morning. I promise you it's worth it. It is NOT a decision you will regret. I will never wish I could go back and be wasted for an experience, quite the opposite.

The first 7 - 11ish days were tough for me though, TBH, in the sense that my body & brain were in habit mode. I promised myself that I would commit to riding those waves out to get it outta my body first and then try to work on the thinking. It became much more manageable after this period. If you can do whatever it takes to get through that, it does get easier and infinitely better. And once it starts really feeling healthy and your mind clears up and you have your feet on THAT side of the 'unknown' you can find strength to start to weigh it out when your tempted. You have real, solid goodness to compare & contrast against all that you think you're 'giving up'. Hold on babe, you can do this.

The other thing I did (and this is just my particular method), is that I allowed myself to eat whatever I wanted. I slept when I could (insomnia is the only physical issue I had/have), took long baths, long walks, long talks...whatever felt comfortable and got me through the really tough moments. My deal with myself was that for the first month or so I could indulge in just about anything I wanted, except alcohol. NO GUILT either, I chose to give myself this license, for a time. I figured once my body/mind truly healed, I would naturally gravitate toward healthier foods, exercise, and the like. I think when we are balanced we gravitate toward homeostasis. Honestly, I am glad I made this decision. It's worked for me.

Please grab on, hold tight and fight for yourSelf & the life you deserve.

All the best to you. P :h