Hello, thought I should jump right in...
It's day 2 of the most recent attempt to love myself back to health, free of alcohol. I have explored this site many, many times and feel that it's a great place to heal, find and give support. I'm not sure if alcohol has ever been really pleasurable for me, mostly it's been a tool to punish, abuse, and drown myself in. So, honestly giving it up isn't feeling like a loss, per se. I don't see it as a 'friend' or 'reward.' It has taken me to the depths of personal hell, which is why I chose the username Persephone. I truly see it as a poison that is out to destroy me body, mind and soul.
I'm at a major transition point in my life?I moved back to the midwest to care for my mom as she passed away from cancer and left a 5 year toxic relationship and a terrible employer. I am currently unemployed and living in a cozy cabin on the lake in my home town, surrounded by the love of my family. I am grateful that I still have my health (hopefully), and no major consequences from the messy lifestyle I chose, save the effects on my own psyche. Now is a time of re-birth and renewal for me.
I'm working on a plan, including all of the prescribed actions listed on this site. The only thing I am personally disinterested in is AA, it's not for me. I don't believe that higher power has any responsibility in this situation. I put myself here and it's up to me to do something about it. I do, however, need a place and to be accountable to, so this is ideal I think.
You are all an inspiration and I'm sending good juju to you. Thanks so much...
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