well here we go.......
I come from a family of 6 siblings , and alcoholic father and a tea toddling mother. They divorced when I was just 3 years old. When they divorced my older brother became the 'father figure' of the house. I had a twin sister who was the most beautiful girl in the world! My older brother would often categorize us as the 'smart one , and the pretty one". For years this left me with such low self esteem and no self worth. My twin sister also felt the burden of only looking beautiful therefore seeked out any male she could find. Later years she became an addict to alcohol and cocaine. She had two beautiful daughters who were taken from her. She spiraled down from there and contracted HIV.... at 42 she died from aids complications.
I began drinking in my teens to fit in socially. i would binge drink on the weekends, however could hold down a good job ..."as i was the smart one". Boyfriends came and went for most of my 20's . I met the love of my life at 29 and we married and had two beautiful children. My husband is a non drinker therefore any of my binges would put him in a tail spin of anger. Over the years I have managed to talk, walk, hide my way out of most of my binges with him, friends and family. I am well respected within my workplace.
Holding down 3 high pressure jobs.
At 40 years old we took in one of my twin sisters children (she was age 11) we raised her as our own. She has become a successful member of society and does not drink at all. (many events of seeing her mom wasted). Things were going along pretty good for me, my life was awesome..besides the odd hangover.....and the constant look of disappointment on my husbands face...
Fast forward....
52 years of age (birthday is tomorrow) sitting in a hotel room , by myself feeling the worst gut wrenching feeling ever!. Husband is given me an ultimatum...for the first time ever drank while working...and got caught by a staff member......... going out of control. This is a marriage breaker. I have been sober for 5 days now and the thought of a drink is literally making me sick. This has affected all aspects of my life now...before it was an intimate problem between husband and wife......I have no self respect at this moment and just want this nightmare to be over. Blessed to have found other suffers..
Thats my story and I am sticking to it!
I come from a family of 6 siblings , and alcoholic father and a tea toddling mother. They divorced when I was just 3 years old. When they divorced my older brother became the 'father figure' of the house. I had a twin sister who was the most beautiful girl in the world! My older brother would often categorize us as the 'smart one , and the pretty one". For years this left me with such low self esteem and no self worth. My twin sister also felt the burden of only looking beautiful therefore seeked out any male she could find. Later years she became an addict to alcohol and cocaine. She had two beautiful daughters who were taken from her. She spiraled down from there and contracted HIV.... at 42 she died from aids complications.
I began drinking in my teens to fit in socially. i would binge drink on the weekends, however could hold down a good job ..."as i was the smart one". Boyfriends came and went for most of my 20's . I met the love of my life at 29 and we married and had two beautiful children. My husband is a non drinker therefore any of my binges would put him in a tail spin of anger. Over the years I have managed to talk, walk, hide my way out of most of my binges with him, friends and family. I am well respected within my workplace.
Holding down 3 high pressure jobs.
At 40 years old we took in one of my twin sisters children (she was age 11) we raised her as our own. She has become a successful member of society and does not drink at all. (many events of seeing her mom wasted). Things were going along pretty good for me, my life was awesome..besides the odd hangover.....and the constant look of disappointment on my husbands face...
Fast forward....
52 years of age (birthday is tomorrow) sitting in a hotel room , by myself feeling the worst gut wrenching feeling ever!. Husband is given me an ultimatum...for the first time ever drank while working...and got caught by a staff member......... going out of control. This is a marriage breaker. I have been sober for 5 days now and the thought of a drink is literally making me sick. This has affected all aspects of my life now...before it was an intimate problem between husband and wife......I have no self respect at this moment and just want this nightmare to be over. Blessed to have found other suffers..
Thats my story and I am sticking to it!
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