Hi all (realized I posted this in the wrong forum before):
I am sure my story is so similar to so many others here. I am so tired of myself. I am 33, married with a 2 year old daughter. I don't understand how I got to this place in my life, but I guess that is neither here nor there, I am here now.
I started drinking socially when I was 20/21.. typical drinking for that age, maybe 2 weak rum and cokes, or possibly a beer or two out with friends. Loved going out, never "passed out" but enjoyed a buzz now and then- maybe once every two weeks or so on the weekend. Fast forward to when I married my husband at 27. We moved across the country days after our honeymoon for his job. That's when it started....I knew no one, I was lonely and bored, although I worked (from home). I started buying the larger bottles of white wine secretly, I'd drink maybe a third of the bottle....then half the bottle over the course of an evening.
It was then that I started putting wine in my plastic cup at 3 in the afternoon, thinking my husband wouldnt notice. Sometimes he'd ask, other times he didnt. I'm sure he always knew, in hindsite. I'd do this maybe 3 times a week.
Fast forward to now- years later..... I am up to drinking 5-6 days per week, I can easily drink 1.5 to 2 bottles of wine over the course of a day.
ROCK BOTTOM (which I will repost in the rock bottom thread as well):
I could die, I am so disgusted with myself, but I have to get this out: On Monday, my husband dropped my daughter off at a drop in daycare place in our neighborhood. Some hours later around 4pm, I picked her up- I was buzzed. I can't believe I did that. At that, the girl at the front desk noticed, but didn't say anything. I know that she noticed, because she called my husband after we left and told him that I was drunk, stumbling, wasn't going to let me take my daughter, but by the time she tried to think of what to say to me, I had left. THANK GOD we made it home safe. I am so ashamed.
My husband told my sister about the incident, in turn my sister told my father, all as a way to support me going forward, I guess for accountability sake.
I should add that today is day 3 AF for me- last drink was Monday for obvious reasons. Needless to say my husband confronted me with a mix of anger, concern and bewilderment at how could I do that, and we get to get me some help. He promises to be supportive as I pursue my sobriety. Tomorrow I am going to see my doctor to talk with her about options.
I'll be posting regularly until and after I find my own way out.
I am sure my story is so similar to so many others here. I am so tired of myself. I am 33, married with a 2 year old daughter. I don't understand how I got to this place in my life, but I guess that is neither here nor there, I am here now.
I started drinking socially when I was 20/21.. typical drinking for that age, maybe 2 weak rum and cokes, or possibly a beer or two out with friends. Loved going out, never "passed out" but enjoyed a buzz now and then- maybe once every two weeks or so on the weekend. Fast forward to when I married my husband at 27. We moved across the country days after our honeymoon for his job. That's when it started....I knew no one, I was lonely and bored, although I worked (from home). I started buying the larger bottles of white wine secretly, I'd drink maybe a third of the bottle....then half the bottle over the course of an evening.
It was then that I started putting wine in my plastic cup at 3 in the afternoon, thinking my husband wouldnt notice. Sometimes he'd ask, other times he didnt. I'm sure he always knew, in hindsite. I'd do this maybe 3 times a week.
Fast forward to now- years later..... I am up to drinking 5-6 days per week, I can easily drink 1.5 to 2 bottles of wine over the course of a day.
ROCK BOTTOM (which I will repost in the rock bottom thread as well):
I could die, I am so disgusted with myself, but I have to get this out: On Monday, my husband dropped my daughter off at a drop in daycare place in our neighborhood. Some hours later around 4pm, I picked her up- I was buzzed. I can't believe I did that. At that, the girl at the front desk noticed, but didn't say anything. I know that she noticed, because she called my husband after we left and told him that I was drunk, stumbling, wasn't going to let me take my daughter, but by the time she tried to think of what to say to me, I had left. THANK GOD we made it home safe. I am so ashamed.
My husband told my sister about the incident, in turn my sister told my father, all as a way to support me going forward, I guess for accountability sake.
I should add that today is day 3 AF for me- last drink was Monday for obvious reasons. Needless to say my husband confronted me with a mix of anger, concern and bewilderment at how could I do that, and we get to get me some help. He promises to be supportive as I pursue my sobriety. Tomorrow I am going to see my doctor to talk with her about options.
I'll be posting regularly until and after I find my own way out.
It's just 3:30pm here, but I know I won't drink anything.
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