As the title says, i'm new to MWO. I figured i'd make my first post by telling a little about me and my story.
I'm a 36 year old married guy who started drinking when i was in the Navy about 13 years ago. I was in for 6 years but avoided alcohol until my last year. I'd seen many guys hit the multitude of bars that surround Navy bases and wondered how they could do that to themselves. I had never drank (except for half a beer at a high school graduation party.. i didn't like the taste). The ship i was on visited Australia and some buddied talked me into having some local brew. It tasted pretty good and one mug left me with a nice buzz. Then a couple months later i was out with some guys and we got totally drunk. I stumbled back to the ship to sleep it off. Within another couple months i was sneaking small bottles of Bacardi 151 onboard to mix with Coke from the soda machines. I was months from an honorable discharge and being that stupid.
Fast forward to 1998. I got a DUI and had to admit i had a problem. I voluntarilly went to outpatient rehab and AA. Neither worked. I was even drinking at the end of rehab and still got out with a "good" prognosis. I used to drink every evening and all weekend timing it so i would sober up by monday morning.
Fast forward to present times. 4 years ago i got married and managed to stay sober the first year. Then my wife suggested we have some wine one weekend. I thought i had things under control and agreed. Well, i didn't. Actually both of us started drinking more and more. I think it was a symptom of our relationship getting worse, but of course the alcohol turned into a problem of it's own. She was able to stop and i wasn't so she moved out last July. I stayed sober for 4 months, then she signed a new lease with her former "at-work-boyfriend" and i started drinking again out of depression. The weekend before last she came over and found me drunk during the day Saturday and said we're getting divorced. On Sunday i was so desperate to stop i googled antabuse in hopes that i could get a prescription from my Dr. (he's good about giving out prescriptions lol). That's when i found out about Campral and Topamax and found this site.
I've gotten the CDs and have been listening to them. i kinda like them actually :-) And today i got my supplements. last Thursday i saw my Dr about a script for Topa but he wasn't familiar enough with that off-label use for it or with Campral so he didn't want to. He was getting me references to someone who deals with addictions and found out my insurance won't pay for me to see and addiction specialist or pay for any of the meds. i got some Topa from a site some people here have used successfully.
Anywho, i didn't intend to write a book but i had to get it out. there are more details but that's the highlights. My addiction isn't emotional, it's definitely physical, which i think is why rehab and AA haven't worked. MWO gives me hope that i can finally stay off the sauce. Tomorrow i'll have 1 day AF. I haven't made it through a weekend since last year. I hope this day next week i'll have 7 days AF.
BTW, i have no desire to moderate, i'm going for full abstinence. I don't have any illusions about being able to moderate and don't feel the need to drink socially. i'm perfectly content being the designated driver.
Holy cow, i just previewed and saw how much i typed.. yikes lol. thanks for reading this far :-)
Laterness...
orion
I'm a 36 year old married guy who started drinking when i was in the Navy about 13 years ago. I was in for 6 years but avoided alcohol until my last year. I'd seen many guys hit the multitude of bars that surround Navy bases and wondered how they could do that to themselves. I had never drank (except for half a beer at a high school graduation party.. i didn't like the taste). The ship i was on visited Australia and some buddied talked me into having some local brew. It tasted pretty good and one mug left me with a nice buzz. Then a couple months later i was out with some guys and we got totally drunk. I stumbled back to the ship to sleep it off. Within another couple months i was sneaking small bottles of Bacardi 151 onboard to mix with Coke from the soda machines. I was months from an honorable discharge and being that stupid.
Fast forward to 1998. I got a DUI and had to admit i had a problem. I voluntarilly went to outpatient rehab and AA. Neither worked. I was even drinking at the end of rehab and still got out with a "good" prognosis. I used to drink every evening and all weekend timing it so i would sober up by monday morning.
Fast forward to present times. 4 years ago i got married and managed to stay sober the first year. Then my wife suggested we have some wine one weekend. I thought i had things under control and agreed. Well, i didn't. Actually both of us started drinking more and more. I think it was a symptom of our relationship getting worse, but of course the alcohol turned into a problem of it's own. She was able to stop and i wasn't so she moved out last July. I stayed sober for 4 months, then she signed a new lease with her former "at-work-boyfriend" and i started drinking again out of depression. The weekend before last she came over and found me drunk during the day Saturday and said we're getting divorced. On Sunday i was so desperate to stop i googled antabuse in hopes that i could get a prescription from my Dr. (he's good about giving out prescriptions lol). That's when i found out about Campral and Topamax and found this site.
I've gotten the CDs and have been listening to them. i kinda like them actually :-) And today i got my supplements. last Thursday i saw my Dr about a script for Topa but he wasn't familiar enough with that off-label use for it or with Campral so he didn't want to. He was getting me references to someone who deals with addictions and found out my insurance won't pay for me to see and addiction specialist or pay for any of the meds. i got some Topa from a site some people here have used successfully.
Anywho, i didn't intend to write a book but i had to get it out. there are more details but that's the highlights. My addiction isn't emotional, it's definitely physical, which i think is why rehab and AA haven't worked. MWO gives me hope that i can finally stay off the sauce. Tomorrow i'll have 1 day AF. I haven't made it through a weekend since last year. I hope this day next week i'll have 7 days AF.
BTW, i have no desire to moderate, i'm going for full abstinence. I don't have any illusions about being able to moderate and don't feel the need to drink socially. i'm perfectly content being the designated driver.
Holy cow, i just previewed and saw how much i typed.. yikes lol. thanks for reading this far :-)
Laterness...
orion
Control the Mind
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