A full day of my precious life, down to drinking. I woke up on Monday morning, truly thinking it was Sunday. I have no idea how that happened. My boss phoned me, asking where I was. I said, 'I am home, it's Sunday' She was very good about it, everyone knows I suffered a traumatic bereavement recently, I put it down to a mess up with sleeping pills, but it wasn't. I just drank myself unconscious all weekend.
I feel as though I get better for a while and then just slip back to a terrible black hole of self destructiveness. I know I have issues that I haven't dealt with in my life, I keep backing away and drowning them. The truth is, I don't know if I can face them, but at the same time, I know I need to get out of this horribly destructive circle if I don't. I'm not looking for pity, just have to put these words out there and hope. I saw myself in the mirror on Monday, my body shaking, lips black and dehydrated. It wasn't pretty. I lost a day of my life, and I never want to lose another one. I haven't drank anything since, I am too scared to.
I feel as though I get better for a while and then just slip back to a terrible black hole of self destructiveness. I know I have issues that I haven't dealt with in my life, I keep backing away and drowning them. The truth is, I don't know if I can face them, but at the same time, I know I need to get out of this horribly destructive circle if I don't. I'm not looking for pity, just have to put these words out there and hope. I saw myself in the mirror on Monday, my body shaking, lips black and dehydrated. It wasn't pretty. I lost a day of my life, and I never want to lose another one. I haven't drank anything since, I am too scared to.
Comment