I have always searched for some type of support group. AA meetings don't fit my personality or my schedule. I've talked to many recovering alcoholics and they tell me that they do not think that I am an alcoholic, but in my mind if I find it hard to quit something and fail over and over again, I have to disagree with their analysis of my problem. A year ago I went 5 months AF. I thought I would never return. I felt great. Had a beer at a BBQ and the floodgates opened. Probably had 3-4 drinks per day after that until the end of October. I decided to give it another shot. Went 3 months, even made it through the holidays!! In January I went away for a sales meeting where the alcohol flows like a faucet. I actually was able to go through the first two nights AF. Was very proud of myself. I was in great shape, at a perfect weight and planned on dropping another 10 to fight in an upcoming event (I'm a boxer). The last night out I broke down and ordered a beer (just one night won't hurt, right). It's now almost June, and I haven't gone more than 4-5 days in a row AF since then, put on 20 lbs and feel like shit, even though I still work out like crazy. My goal is to eliminate alcohol from my life forever. I really hope I can stick to it, and continue coming to this site daily. Thanks for reading.
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New to MWO
Hi Hopeful and :welcome: to MWO.
Sounds like relapsing is the problem. Have you truly accepted that you want to quit for good? Sometimes there is still a part of your brain that thinks you can' just have one', or that if you stop long enough you will go back to 'normal'. It may be that thinking that makes you drink.
I know I can't drink again and that is fine......I have drunk enough for 7 lifetimes. I don't want one I want 15, then the next day I will want another 15.
You may need to give this some thought.
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