In March of '99, I met my future husband at a . . . suprise . . . bar. A roomate of his worked for a beer distributing company, so needless to say, there was always "out of date" beer on hand. We did a lot of "partying," until he and I bought our first house. We didn't go out as much together, but I went out with my sister and best-friend, and it worked out fine. Then we moved a few hours away, and I started a new university and would to my parent's house on the W/E, and my sister and I would go out and get drunk. Once again, I would end up fooling around with men, but justified it by saying, "We're not married yet, and I didn't have sex with the guy," . . . you get the picture. So, in a few years, he and I got married and continued our drinking habits. As a result of drinking, we almost divorced . . . I was caught cheating . . . and I was drunk. In addition, he confessed to me that he had cheated as well with a dancer. As you can see alcohol had lead to some bad decisions, but we chose to work it out. Well, a few months after that, we found out that we were going to have a baby, and my emotions weren't those of joy, but those of dread - what was I going to do now that I couldn't drink or smoke for nine months? I won't lie and say I didn't drink or smoke b/c I did, but not like I had been doing - which is what I told myself. Even now, I'm racked with so much guilt about doing that, but God blessed us with a healthy 8 lb girl (who's now a little over two years old and doing fine).
To make a long story short, I picked up where I left off . . . again, and it's not easy to care for a toddler while having a hangover. I'm a stay at home mom and have my own business, so I don't get out too much. My husband goes out to watch sports . . . I encourage this so he doesn't see how much I actually drink, but I tell him that I can't bare to see or hear any sports related program. Meanwhile, I can easily drink one of those big bottles of wine and half of another and smoke two packs of cigarrettes. Lately, though, my ears have began ringing, and I looked it up - "excessive alcohol or carbonated beverage intake" is one of the causes . . . and I don't drink soda. In addition, I've been sweating a lot more.
Yesterday, I started taking chantix to help me stop smoking, and I've decided to cut back dramatically on drinking or maybe just stop for a while. If I stay at this rate, there's no telling how much longer I'll live, and I don't want to end up like my father (an alcoholic), who's riddled with so many health problems I'm amazed the man still walks and talks. So, here's to my and your success. God Bless. :h
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