14.08.13

[SiC]

14.08.13

so I'm back on forums, lost my user details so under the name SiC, formerly known as Inchy. I've been modding for a few months now, lately I've found myself drinking daily again, though not excessively, i have also been supplementing this with pot. I don't want to think I'm only back on forums for this, originally I thought I wanted to check in on folks but a part of me feels that maybe things are getting out of hand again. I'm a little lost right now on where I stand, whether I'm addicted or not. I've had a couple tonight, I've been logging into drinktracker trying to keep track of what's going on with me. I feel like I'm failing people if this is a real slip, I was almost too embarassed to talk about it but I've been thinking lately and this is what I had to do. thanks for reading.

Inchy

[lead366]

14.08.13

Hey INCHY;;;

Not an embarrassment at all!...Its all cool and all good. I certainly welcome anything you have to say.

As far as on again off again.....been there as well and was even negotiating today.

You are NOT failing anyone here....We prefer your company actually no matter what you are doing.

Write lots

[SiC]

14.08.13

back to kind of expand a little on what i said, i was hoping somebody would talk to me on another post but, i guess i'm reaching out because right now i just want to talk this through. I've been on and off drinking for 8 years now, since i was basically a child. I thought I got through it back in September, I got to just under 3 months sober after a health scare - it's taken me a long time to realise that what I did wasn't a long term plan or sobriety, I was a drunk with a health issue that stopped me drinking. There were times I wanted to stay sober, most of the time I did it because I had to. Right now I'm drinking again and I'm smoking pot regularly, I still don't do it when I'm at uni but the more time I'm home the more time I drink - I fear for what happens in May. I don't know whether it's a habit thing, an addict thing or something else. Lately I've been kind of down on life, feeling like I'll never get anywhere, so I drink more because it doesn't matter. I feel the need for a constant stream of new, great things and when i don't get it I always come back to this. Any insight, anyone who talks to me, I would appreciate it. I feel very alone right now.

[free at last]

14.08.13

Hi Inchy,
Glad to see you back on MWO. I think your intuition is talking to you. Perhaps spend some quiet time drawing and then, after some reflection time, you might have a clearer sense of what your heart wants for you.

I am on a four week intensive yoga training journey. I'm really loving getting stronger, clearer, and focused on what I know to be true for me.

[SiC]

14.08.13

I broke my own rule today and brought booze into my flat, I have two homes at the minute and this one is my fantastic sober space, I only ever did this at Christmas before. I am so ashamed and disappointed in myself, it feels like i somehow ruined the space.

Free - I know what I want is the same as so many people, to just be free of this, to not even have to consider it. Now it seems like no matter what decision I make, it's a choice I don't want

[free at last]

14.08.13

Dear Inchy,
How about you get rid of any alcohol that is in your flat, do a good clean, and then burn some sage (a Native American practice for cleansing a space) or burn a candle. No need for your sanctuary to be forever "ruined." Return to what you know what works for you and what you seek.

Warmest

[free at last]

14.08.13

Hi Inchy, Just checking in to see how you are doing. Please do send an update when you can.

[SiC]

14.08.13

Hey Free, I'm doing a lot better, af yesterday and planning the same again today, trying to really work on changing my life instead of just one aspect. went for a run this morning, looking into meditation and exercise

[K9Lover]

14.08.13

Hi Inchy!
Just wanted to say hi and let you know I am here for you if you need me. After 2+ years, I had a relapse of my own last Monday (3/3/14). It sucked big time, but I had to come here and let people know. So please believe me when I say I understand. Stick close ok? We want you here no matter what.
Love,
K9

[free at last]

14.08.13

Hey Inchy,
Great to hear from you and love the new avatar (though I'm not a hipster so don't know who the rocker is). I've been practicing mediation daily for the past three weeks -- amazing the serenity it provides me. There's a really good breathing technique called nadi shodhana that helps me focus on my breath and really calms my mind. You might look it up and give it a go. Again, great to hear of your AF days.