Pregnancy and drinking

[mafalda]

I am starting a new thread because I just found out I am pregnant. Thanks to everyone who responded to me the first time around and the suggestions of slowly cutting back sounded great but now I must go cold turkey. I read Chefs story below, she said that she received the news of her pregnancy with dread instead of joy. This is partially how I feel but at the same time I feel that this preganancy might be a life saver by forcing me to quit and getting rid of all of the excuses. I would be lying to you though if I didn't admit that I am afraid that I will succumb to my cravings and I already feel gulity since I have been drinking every day before, except yesterday when I joined this group. I will need support more than ever. Wonder what supplements I can take with the preganancy? Any other pregnant women out there? I have read a lot of the studies and frankly it is not clear what kind of damage can be caused (All of the FAS studies were done on women who drank heavily during their entire pregancy). I decided to quit altogether now since I think that the alcohol must of caused some damage to my body by now and a preganancy can be hard on your body so I better not take any more chances.

Oh by the way someone asked why I drank. I drink to feel more relaxed, for some reason it just makes me feel better. It's not escaping problems, it's just that pleasant high you get that others derive from other drugs or exercise or whatever. When I drank to much and got sick I just hated that feeling so I try very hard only to drink enough to acheive that high. I hope I can find a healthier way of getting that feeling. Thanks Everyone!!

[kpuk]

Pregnancy and drinking

Hi

This is a hard one! I was drinking every day before I found out I was pregnant and then found it quite easy to abstain while pregnant so I can't advise on supplements, etc, sorry.

Unfortunately, as soon as I could after the birth of my twins I hit the bottle big style and have continued to do so to my shame. I wish you well on your pregnancy and hope that you overcome your alcohol addiciton (I hope you don't mind me calling it that). I just wish that I'd carried on with my abstinence after the birth. My advice would be don't rely on pregnancy to break your habit - I never thought I'd drink again after giving it up for 9 months but I came home, hardly able to move as I had complications and a hysterectomy and I still drank, every day.

I hope this isn't too much of a "downer" post. I just wanted to put across my view on things. I wish you and your baby well. good luck

[mafalda]

Pregnancy and drinking

Thanks Kpuc, interesting how you found it relatively easy to quit while pregnant but then continued as soon as you felt you wern't harming your baby? I guess this is a rationalization which indicates to me that some of us alcoholics are psycologically dependent and not physically addicted. Meaning we can quit if we really want/have to ie: pregancy, a dui, a threat of divorce , loosing your job etc, but basically short of these events in our lives we continue drinking. What does this mean? That we have the ability to quit but we choose not to. Why? This is the million dollar question for me.

[nancy]

Pregnancy and drinking

I think it is mostly psychological dependency. when i stop drinking, the only physical side effects are insomnia and a few headaches, though i suppose the insomnia might have a mental cause as well.

I remember quitting chain-smoking, for a very good reason. I had absolutely no withdrawal effects. the psychological drive and desire to quit was that strong and sound.

our society teaches us that drinking alchol is relaxing, is an essential part of celebrating and provides a way of coping with problems. that creates psychological dependency. Also, if you feel that you are inadequate on your own, booze provides a means of making yourself better, self-medicating. it's all a sham and i hope we can all stop living that way.

I think the posts on pregnancy should be encouraging for you. After all, damage to your developing child must be the foremost consideration.
It would be nice if you could stay quit, but I imagine it must be very nice to know that some heavy drinkers are able to quit for the duration of the pregnancyl

good luck!

[mdianeo]

Pregnancy and drinking

I didn't drink during either of my pregnancies after I found out I was pregnant but I worried about what I had done in the first few weeks before I knew (neither pregnancy was planned- kids are 8 years apart) My doctor told me all would be fine & he was right. I started drinking some even when nursing and pumping so they would not get the alcohol that was in my system. How pathetic is that? It had to be psychological as I of course was totally detoxed!
BTW-My kids are exceptional-One teaches Special Ed (has a Master's) and the other Honors classes & a musical prodigy!
How wonderful for you to have this opportunity to not only bring a life into this world but to have a chance to make your own so much better! Best wishes to you.
Di

[Breez]

Pregnancy and drinking

With my first pregnancy & drank up till I realized I was pregnant (2 weeks). My periods were so screwed up(35-63 days caused by drinking) that I had no idea how far along I was & that scared me till we did an ultra sound. I quit on the spot (scared straight) and did not touch one drop of alcohol but found the cravings hard when we would go out to dinner. So I would order non-alcoholic beer with my pizza or dinner. That helped me. After a month I was fine.

"What does this mean? That we have the ability to quit but we choose not to. Why? This is the million dollar question for me."

Oprah had that show yesterday-it's our brains. We're wired differently.

[Elmeka]

Pregnancy and drinking

Hello Mafalda!
I think probably you just naturally quit drinking while pregnant! That's what happened to me. I have four children and never drank since I suspected the pregnancy. It is SO powerful, you have a new life to nurture.... It is the most wonderful thing in the world, so unless you drink many bottles a day, just knowing you are bearing a New Life, should be enough to convince you not to drink a drop! I also breastfed my babies, and never drank during this so important event in the life of both: mother and baby!
I hope you find your way! Let your emotions and your psychological self be the most important! A child is such a Bless!
By the way: Why you call yourself Mafalda????

[Chef]

Pregnancy and drinking

Firstly, congrats on the new life forming inside you!!! I understand what you're going thru . . . you read my story, so, 'nuff said. I had been drinking the first two months of my pregnancy w/out even suspecting I was pregnant, and the dread was also accompanied by the fear of what I had already done to my unborn child. So, just hang in there and know that you have everyone's support . . . and be sure you get plenty of rest!

[psychmommy]

Pregnancy and drinking

Hi Mafalda,

I felt like chiming in here because I've had experience with this very thing. I was actively trying to get pregnant with my last child and I was still drinking (sounds so stupid I know). Each month (it took 4), I knew which day of the month the embryo would attach and we would share a blood supply and I would stop drinking on that day. Then I would abstain for about a week until I could take a pregancy test, and then start the process all over again. When I did get pregnant, I didn't know how I was going to go all those days without drinking. But somehow, I just did. I can't say it was easy. . . I had endless dreams where I was drinking, and would drive by bars and get such a longing (I didn't even go to bars at that point - just drank at home). . . But somehow I got through it. I always reasoned that I could make the bad choice to drink for myself, but that my baby didn't have a voice yet and I didn't have the right to do that to him. (My first pregancny was easier in this regard because I wasn't drinking very much at that point).

The other thing I wanted to say is that that I am a doctoral student and my specialty is child neuropsychology (scary I know, given my drinking). From what I've read and learned, alcohol is very damaging to the fetus. In fact, it is thought in our practice that many hard drugs cause much less damage to the developing brain than does alcohol (many studies substantiate this). I don't mean to scare you mafalda, but you should be informed.

Also, I wouldn't think any of the supplements have been scientifically tested on pregant women so there is no way to ensure they are safe.

I would suggest walking a lot, or some other excercise you can do safely.

And Kpuc, I know exactly what you mean. . . I didn't even bother to breastfeed because I wanted to drink. Unfortunately, I started drinking after my son was born 3 years ago and I haven't stopped since. I too wish I had continued abstaining after I gave birth. Hopefuly mafalda, you can benefit from our mistakes.

Cherish that baby growing inside you. Best of luck on your new journey! Keep us up to date.

[Happier]

Pregnancy and drinking

Mafalda,
You asked a million dollar question.
I had 3 healthy sons and when I found out I was pregnant I could quit drinking no problem. I had no desire or cravings. I knew plenty of women who had a glass of wine here or there but
I just wanted a healthy baby.
So isn't that funny that I could just quit?
Hmmm.. what does that mean?

[nancy]

Pregnancy and drinking

I think it's mostly a mental problem, though the information about nutritional deficiencies fueling cravings seems very sound to me.

I also saw the oprah episode but don't think it proves that we are chemically wired to do anything. I think they showed brain scans, when you have certain emotions or feelings, areas light up. this could be love, hatred, violence, sex, things that respond to images. so there were images of people who have FEELINGS about illicit substances, drugs. this shows up on the brain scans. medication can reduce those responses.

that does not mean that people are wired to respond to drugs in a certain way. it does mean that we have certain personality traits, that we like certain things or get excited by them. but that is different from saying we are physically fated to behave in a certain way.

I thought that the testimony of the woman who had been abused as a child was interesting-- I think some people with addictions have a hole in their soul....

[goingsobermum]

Pregnancy and drinking

Hi Mafalda,
Congratulations. I too am pregnant, 3 months, expecting my fourth. Unlike some I find stopping drinking even during pregnancy very difficult. No I don't want to harm my child but yes I want a drink.
When I was expecting my first I was told I could drink moderatly so drank a glass or two of wine several times a week. During my other pregnancies I have done the same with periods of a month here and there abstaining completely, and also the odd time of drinking 4 or 5 drinks and feeling guilty for days afterwards. At the momment I have a small can of beer several times a week and a glass or two of wine about once a week. Its easy enough to stop after the beer but hard after the wine so I try and avoid it.
Some things you read say no alcohol others say 2 glasses a night is okay, although I read an article about Italian woman drinking 2 or 3 glasses a day and the number of children with FAS was increasing.
As far as supplements go I take a multi vitamin and extra zinc, magnesium and B vits.(When I remember) At the momment I am battleing with a caffeine addiction, to tea in fact. I need to cut it down but its gone up without the wine drinking and is just as hard to stop. At least the alcohol cravings are mostly in the evening but the tea is all day.
When is your baby due?
Lots of Love
Suz

[Lucy Van Pelt]

Pregnancy and drinking

first, congratulations!!

I too drank nothing when I was pregnant...missed it of course, but all the same, found it was the one time in my adult life I had the inner strength to not drink...just knew it was something I couldn't do! However, when I got pregnant with my second, it was by suprise, so I was drinking until I found out I was pregnant...every night, several drinks..I was a few weeks pregnant when I found out and I was sooooo scared!!! My ob-gyn assured me all would be ok, because in the first few weeks the fetus is not yet attached to the uterus, so that the alcohol is not effecting it YET!!! However, after that point, of course, alcohol is a major issue to abuse...(alcohol fetal syndrome...NOT good). SO, if you can stop now, you can relax and not be worried. I would stay away from any supplements, at least unless you get the go ahead from your doctor.

I think you will be suprised how much easier it will be than you think...it is amazing what we can do for others (our unborn) but not for ourselves, huh?? Very interesting stuff!!

PS. I had my first taste of wine while still in the hospital....after the birth of my son. How is that for pathetic!!

Beth

[mafalda]

Pregnancy and drinking

Thank you all so much, I do feel a lot better. It has been almost five days and although I think about it constantly I have been distracting myself with eating as healthy as I can to make up for any damage. I was also thinking, like smokers ours is also a habit, so I bought some non-alcoholic beer (I never drank beer before) but thought that a nice cold beer would satisfy some of the craving. I also got some sparkling cider which I can put in a champagne glass and pretend I'm having a glass. I still have to find a decent non-alcoholic wine (I just can't bring myself to eat a good meal with water or juice.) Anyone know any non-alcoholic wines that are decent? I have been brewing some non-caffeineited teas like chamomille, peppermint, rose buds and find them quite satisfying.
I guess my first real test will be this Saturday because I have wedding, and Like I said eveyone we know drinks. There might be alot of questions, I 'll just say I'm on antibiotics for the time being. I will report to you guys next week. I feel now that I will be accountable to you guys. Someone asked about the name Mafalda, she is an Argentian cartoon character, a little spunky girl.

[julie001]

Pregnancy and drinking

Determinator recommended an AF wine by Ariel through J. Lohr Winery. I went online today and ordered three bottles. I figured what the heck...better than koolaid in a wine glass. When I give into the urge to drink, I'm going to try that first. Good luck at the wedding.

Julie