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    #16
    THAT IS IT NOW!!!

    Hi Kel,

    I too have said some pretty horrific things when drunk... it's like drunk Gem thinks, "How can I ensure that this relationship gets damaged as much as possible???" and talks from there. So I do understand where you're coming from.

    One thing I have noticed is that I have tended to make these vicious comments when there has been things bothering me that I did not bring up - that I just left simmering away until I exploded when drunk. Because I like to keep the peace so much I often don't say how I feel at the time something bothers me - and sometimes I don't even KNOW something bothers me, because I've got so good at squashing my emotions.

    The distance thing must be so tough, and I imagine it would mean that each time you meet there would be tension - anxiety about trying to squeeze in as much time together as possible and anxiety about making sure every moment is as perfect as possible.

    You DO sound so much better in yourself than at the start of your post. Your hand ain't the only thing that's healing!

    Much love

    Gem x
    Free since 26th February 2012

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      #17
      THAT IS IT NOW!!!

      Thing always end up worse when you are drunk, I was bashed sensless whe I was in the army by two of my mates (yeah right) couldnt open my right eye for a week and spent 3 days in hospital (military police didnt want to know about it) have felt like getting revenge for a long time but wouldnt know where to start. Have forgiven them. both of them were pissed too. its just not worth it . just got to remind that to myself before the first drink!
      "From now on, walking is my beer and feeling good is my hangover" .....Homer Simpson

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        #18
        THAT IS IT NOW!!!

        Existence:
        i love to hear that no mattter what happens, you will be taking care of yourself...without the help of alcohol. That is what healthy people do my friend. I do wish you all the best and I hope that everything works out. Take care of the OWWIEEEE!!!
        Learning to live life on the outside of a bottle. :flower:

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          #19
          THAT IS IT NOW!!!

          it seems to be on it's way to healing, but having to cover it at work pulls away the scabbing which is not good soooo looking forward to the weekend :P

          i think i am ready for checking out of the relationship she has been offline for the last fews day and i really haven't missed her and i have sort of met someone here who wants me (i would never cheat on Kristina, but it is starting to make me think about our relationship) thank you to everyone for your kind words xxxxxxx
          http://localhost/gimport/cache/avatars/addicted to living again

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            #20
            THAT IS IT NOW!!!

            Kel, darling your not crazy your YOUNG!! enjoy your life. As Cher (my idol ) says 'Life is not a dress rehersal". Make yourself happy. Check the drinking and keep us updated
            Smiles
            Mary

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              #21
              THAT IS IT NOW!!!

              simeybear;124947 wrote: Kel, darling your not crazy your YOUNG!!
              oh honey...i am crazy too :P
              http://localhost/gimport/cache/avatars/addicted to living again

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                #22
                THAT IS IT NOW!!!

                A little crazy is good; who isn't ? I mean I'm sitting here typing and inhaling my dogs obnoxious gas. That is crazy.
                Love Ya Kel
                Mar
                Mar

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                  #23
                  THAT IS IT NOW!!!

                  Hi Kel,

                  Crazy is good!!!!!!!!

                  All the best, whatever happens don't forget you have loads of new friends now ....

                  Love & Hugs :h :l :h
                  sigpicXXX

                  Comment

                    #24
                    THAT IS IT NOW!!!

                    thanks everyone...and it looks like (as Mary put it) i am gonna have to be a hot single smoking lesbian.

                    my hand has basically healed and today i am spending the day alone reflecting on everything

                    thanks all xxx
                    http://localhost/gimport/cache/avatars/addicted to living again

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                      #25
                      THAT IS IT NOW!!!

                      Awww! Sometimes these things are a blessing in disguise. Years ago, something bad happened to me, that made me quite for 5 years. Not one drop! Maybe this will be your time. Hopefully for the rest of your days. Be strong! Maybe everytime you are tempted you could rub your hand, take a deep breath, close your eyesand remember what happened - until the the urge passes.

                      I'll bet a hypnotist could do something with this. Something to consider. Keep your chin up.

                      :huggy

                      Best
                      "It wasn't all I wanted, but all I could stand!":bigwink: Alcohol free since April 8, 2008

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                        #26
                        THAT IS IT NOW!!!

                        Welcome. Craziness is relative...After my last drinking episode and several hateful emails to hubby's relatives and friends, I am now receiving a lot of bad feedback from them as to "how mentally ill I am". Of course, these people don't know about my drinking problem and think that I am indeed crazy. Either way, not a great feeling....I'm still trying to figure out what the better approach would be...to tell them I have this drinking problem with temporary insanity or let them believe I'm really crazy?!

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                          #27
                          THAT IS IT NOW!!!

                          quick update: my hand is starting to heal well now i am off work for the weekend.

                          they caught the w*****rs who did it to me, thank you to my ex for the help on that.

                          also not seen Kris since the 16th/17th and i seem to be a little happier for not seeing her, i hate saying that cos i do love her, but she takes me for granted. things seem to be picking up...thank you everyone xx
                          http://localhost/gimport/cache/avatars/addicted to living again

                          Comment

                            #28
                            THAT IS IT NOW!!!

                            Kel, Sorry I didn't see this thread sooner. I read through and am glad that you have decided to focus on making yourself happy. Isn't it interesting when you don't talk or see someone for awhile and are able to take a step back, then you realize hey I may be better off.
                            Hope the new love gives you everything you deserve, take care.
                            "Keep your eyes and heart focused on the end goal at all times, and never settle for less."

                            Comment

                              #29
                              THAT IS IT NOW!!!

                              i wish me and Kris could work through all of this...but i have a feeling that is not going to happen any time soon...

                              back to being the single lesbian amoung a group of lads :P
                              http://localhost/gimport/cache/avatars/addicted to living again

                              Comment

                                #30
                                THAT IS IT NOW!!!

                                Hey Kel, nothing wrong with that your straight female friends Thank You. (Smile Here) You very young and real love isn't here yet, I will be. Get involed in a cause your passinonate about. How about your music? The girl friend will come. Do you know who Rachel Maddow is? Google her I picture you and she looking a whole lot alike. Be youself and love who you are.
                                Mum








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