All my life, since I was around 8/9 I have had bad experiences with alcohol. My father left my mum when I was that age, since then mum had increasingly got worse and worse with using alcohol until she hit dependency when I was about 11.
It got so bad that me and my brother would have to try and feed her, she lost so much weight, weighing around 5-6st which was so unhealthy. The doctor at the hospital told me her liver was fatty and if she didnt stop immediately then me and my brother would have to end up letting her go.
But thankfully she pulled through, put the weight back on and now doesnt touch a drop of it, which I am so proud of and it gives me hope that eventually I will be able to say no, but I dont think I can trust myself yet to do so if someone offers or payday arrives.
I went in and out of foster care, me and my younger brother. I was severley depressed, self harming and smoking drugs. Then when i moved into my first flat at 15/16 I started drinking to excess daily, I became dependent, I lost my mind, I didnt care about myself so I was unhygenic, lazy, drunk, rude, angry but funnily enough I seemed to think that I needed it, like it would give me a personality, a personality that I felt I lost, I needed confidence and thats what it did for me. But it wasnt the good type of confidence I really needed. I was arrested on various occassions (comes with the territory i guess). woke up the next day with bruises that I never knew how I had got them.
I also went to prison when I was 18 for a month because of alcohol related offences, apparently I attacked a policeman, but of course as always I have no recollection of the incident.
I never went to rehab or anything like that, I didnt even get support or any help since I am not really the person who feels comfortable with telling everyone how I feel, I do not like to be emotional with anyone. But I dont know how I did it, but I guess
I wouldnt say never again to a drink. I am comfortable with getting trashed at times, specially when I feel lonely. Well thats my story, sorry its so long, just been a very very eventful life, even though I have had a short one. lol Take care guys. Dan x
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